Lord of the Rings: SSBM Style!
by Dragon's Return
Summary: The title says it all. The SSBM people are gonna be staring in the famous moviebook, Lord of the Rings. This is my re-post from Lord the Rings: WHEN ON SUGAR! Enjoy!
1. Prolouge and a Par TAY!

Disclaimer: I do not own SSBM people OR anything to do with Lord of the Rings.  
  
A/N: This was once a Script Format story. I'm trying my best to re-write it. If it makes NO sense, then I will be more then happy to send you the firsts ones in the mail. Also, it's time for a new name...  


  
**_The Lord of the Rings (SSBM Style)  
The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling  
Chapter I- Prolouge and a Par-TAY!_**

It was a dark screen...nothing was there...understand? Nothing at all...until we heard Peach talking. "Long ago, when the world was young...or something...I haven't read the prologue in so long. So you know what? I'm gonna skip it...it's not like anyone cares...Something about no one is alive to remember somthing...Well, I don't remember...So I guess thats okay..."  
  
**_The Lord of the Rings_**  
  
"Ahem...Peachy?" Luigi's voice was heard. "You've gotta give SOME form of a backround."  
  
"I do?! Grr...Okay...So there was this dude Sauron who was evil and made these weird rings. He gave three to the sexy elves, seven to the ugly dwarves-"  
  
"HEY!" Popo's voice yelled.  
  
"Ooooh, is Popo playing a Dwarf?! HAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAA! -Ahem- And nine to the humans. And then he made one for himself. It had a cool catch pharse. One Ring to Rule them all, One Ring to Find them, One Ring to bring them all into the darkness and bind them...or something along those lines, I never really liked talking rings. So anyway, then Sauron is all, "...I gotta kill stuff." And the people of Middle Earth are all "...No..." So Sauron is all, "STFU j00 n00bs!" and the people were all, "...No..." So the Elves and the Men teamed up, yey, and fought these Orcs wearing tennis shoes. And then the king of men was killed and his son, Isludor, or however it's spelt..."  
  
"That's not how you spell it!" Marth whispered.  
  
"HEY!? ARE YOU THE ONE DOING THE VOICE OVER?! HUH!? HUH!!!!?!! I THINK NOT!!! -Ahem- Anyway, so Isludor chopped off his hand and Sauron died. The Isludor took the ring, then ran off, got married and lived happily ever-after. THE END!"  
  
"That's not the ending!" DK whined.  
  
"But I'm bored!! ARGH! Alright. So Isludor gets killed and all the people are all, "OMFG NOEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!" And he droped the ring in the water. Then Gollum finds it.  
  
"But..." Ness started. "I thought Gollum killed someone for the ring!"  
  
"WELL THAT'S NOT WHAT IT SAYS HERE!!!!! Ahem, so then, y'know, a little midget that looks like Ness came up to Gollum and said, "Yo, I'm lost." And Gollum is all "Wellsss thatsss to badsss." And the midget said "I want your ring." So he stole it. I think his name was Dildo..."  
  
"Bilbo!" Roy corrected.  
  
"Dildo Baggins was his name! NOW ON WITH THE STORY!!!" We get a nice little picture moving through Bag End with the Hobbit music playing before Peach buts in. "THE EXTENDED VERISON?! HELLLLLLLLLLLL NO!"  
  
Ness is sitting under a tree reading a book.  
  
**_The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling_**  
  
"Hm, I wonder why I can't understand this book..." He muttered, unkowning that he held it upside down. Suddenly, humming was heard coming from the path way. Ness stood up and got a big smile on his face and dashed to where the singing was heard.  
  
A little wagon with a cloaked figure was riding down the path, singing. "The road goes on and on, down from the door where it beg- OW!!! STUPID HORSE!! AVOID THE BUMPS!!!"  
  
Ness ran up and stared at the man. "You lat- BOWSER?!" He yelled shocked. "YOUR THE WIZARD DUDE?!"  
  
The Koopa sighed and nodded. "Yes, and my name is not Bowser. It's Gandalf."  
  
"Gandy."  
  
"Gandalf."  
  
"Gandy."  
  
"I think I would know my own name better then you."  
  
"SAY YOUR LINE!"  
  
Bowser gave a sigh. "A wizard is never late, Nano Dragons. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."  
  
"So..." Ness said thinking. "We go by YOUR time..."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"IT'S WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU GANDY!!!" Ness said as he jumped into Bowser's arm. So the the two of them hug then start riding through Hobbiton. But we're gonna skip over their convasations, to save time. Ness jumped off the cart as Bowser headed up towards Bag End. "Damn...It's so small..." He muttered, getting off his horse. He walked up to the door and knocked.  
  
"GO AWAY!!!" Pikachu yelled from inside. "I'M BUSY!!!"  
  
"But I'm an old old old old friend!"  
  
Sounds of crashing and stumbling were heard as Pikachu raced to the door and opened it. "Gandalf! I was just jerking...out of a deep sleep! Yeah...I saw someone say that once..."  
  
"Tssk, tssk, tssk. You can't even find your own humor anymore."  
  
"I LUV YOU GANDY!!" Pikachu said, hugging the giant turtle's leg. "Come in!" He said, showing his friend in. Pikachu took Bowser hat and staff, placed his staff on the coat rack and went into the living room to nibble on the hat. "So, what brings you to Hobbiton?!"  
  
"I needed a weekend alone, you know, away from the destroying the world stuff." Bowser smiled. "But also, I came for you B-day, Dildo."  
  
"MAH B-DAY!!!" Pikachu screamed. "Do you have any idea how many scary people I know are gonna be there?! I wanna leave this hole in the wall!"  
  
---Later That Night...---  
  
Pikachu and Bowser are sitting outside smoking weed...Oh, I'm sorry, 'PIPE weed'. "Aaaaah, Pipe weed..." Pikachu said, high. "It's so great..."  
  
"It is." Bowser said, taking a puff. He then blew the smoke out in the shape of a ship, which began firing little smoke cannon balls at Pikachu. "Pipe weed gives me amazing powers...Woah...and It shows me cool colors..."  
  
"Hey, while I'm total high, let's head to the party." Pikachu took another puff. "Yeah man, I totally don't wanna lose this feeling."  
  
"Sure thing Dildo!!!" So Bowser stood up and used his magical wizard powers to teleport them over to the party.  
  
---Par-TAY!---  
  
It was night, but it was very lively. Hobbits were dancing, little hobbit kids were dancing...everyone was dancing!! But Bowser. He was too busy setting up fireworks, FOR THE HOBBITS TO DANCE TO! "Look at them goooooo!" He said, pointing to butterflies he had just made with his firework. The Little Hobbit kiddies ran off after them with big smiles on their faces.  
  
"Psssssssssssst! Luigi!" Came the voice from a devilish little bird named Falco.  
  
Luigi turned around. "I'm sorry, but the cast name was 'Pippin', If I read right."  
  
"Come on! Let's steal one of Gandy's fireworks like the retards we are!"  
  
"OKAY!" So Luigi and Falco slip away and hop onto Bowser's wagon. Falco picked Luigi up and threw him into the back.  
  
"Hurry! Gandy is coming!" Falco whispered to his partner in crime.  
  
Luigi saw the biggest one there and lifted it up. A red dragon type firework. "This okay?" He asked Falco and got a nod. So he hopped off the wagon and the two of them ran into a tent. Luigi stuck it into the ground and Falco lit it up. "Um, Merry..." Luigi said.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Why did we lit it up in here?"  
  
"Um...cause we're the cute, funny and very stupid ones!" The firework exploded and was sent flying up into the air. A giant dragon made of...fire? started to rain down onto the hobbits. Being little creatures who are too 'advanced' for shoes, they all ran and hid for their lives.  
  
"DILDO!!!" Ness yelled, tackeling Pikachu to the ground. "EVIL DRAGONS ARE ATTACKING!!" The Firework Dragon then flew up into the air and exploded. The hobbits were amazed so they started clapping.  
  
Falco and Luigi, both charred, were standing their laughing. "That was good." Luigi said with a smile.  
  
"Let's get another one."  
  
"NO YOU SHANT NOT!" Bowser yelled, grabbing them in his arms. "Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peepee Took... I should have known."  
  
"Um, I'm sorry, but it's Pippin." Luigi corrected.  
  
Pikachu, ingoring the fact that his birthday party had just been destroyed by a dragon, got up to give his birthday speech. "Hello everyone!" He greeted and got cheered. "I have a long speech for you, but this movie is 2 Hours and 59 Minutes long, so why not get straight to the point. GOOD BYE YOU SMELLY HOBBITS!!" And with that, Pikachu disappeared.  
  
"HOLY SHIT!!!! PIKACHU WAS RE-CASTED!" All the hobbits and Bowser yelled.  
  
---Back at Bag End---  
  
Pikachu sneaked into the house laughing like his demi-self would if Pichu had just blown up the world. "Stupid Hobbits. I'm sooo much smarter then them."  
  
"You may be smarter then them, but not a WIZARD!" Bowser, who just magically appeared, mocked. "Oh, and using magic rings? Yeah...about that...it's a big no-no."  
  
"It was just a bit of fun!" Pikachu said with a smile. "Besides...I'm leaving now. This is all going to Nes- Frodo."  
  
"Even your ring?"  
  
"HELL NO!" Pikachu said. "It's mine...my own...my precioussss...." The mouse said, petting the Ring.  
  
"Precious?" Pikachu was too busy petting his ring to notice Bowser. "Dildo, give me that Ring..."  
  
"NO! WHY SHOULD I!"  
  
"BECAUSE I AM A WIZARD!!"  
  
"BUT I'M A CUTE MOUSE!"  
  
Bowser then killed Pikachu. "Erm, oops? Dildo? DILDO! WAKE UP!!!" But Pikachu's body was...um...dead. "Uh-oh..." Bowser took his ring, threw the dead Pikachu out the window, and looked around. "Okay Gandalf, Think...I KNOW!" Bowser gave an evil laugh, his trademark, Bawhahahaha. "I'll give Frodo the ring, so when people find Dildo's body, they will think HE killed him! HA! I am soooooooo smart." The Koopa walked to the door, dropped the ring and sat down by the fireplace smoking. "HA! He's sure to see it there." He thought to himself.  
  
Ness took this moment to burst in. "DILDO! DILDO! ARE YE HERE?!" He looked down and saw the little shiny ring. "Huh?" He picked it up and walked towards Bowser, ring in hand. "Gandy?"  
  
Bowser looked at the ring un-easy. "He..he..he..." He laughed weakly. "Dildo's ring..." He quickly grabbed it from Ness, put it in an envelope and gave it back to Ness. "Sorry buddy, but I have to leave."  
  
"LEAVE?!" Ness yelled. "But...you only just got here!"  
  
"I have important wizard stuff to do..."  
  
"And this Ring! Why did you put it in a envelope if I'm just gonna take it out again!"  
  
"FOOL OF A TOOK!" Bowser boomed, turning to Ness.  
  
"Took?"  
  
"DON'T TAKE IT OUT!" The Turtle put one claw on Ness's shoulder. "Keep it serect. Keep it safe." And with that, Bowser turned and left the house, hopped on his pony and rode away, leaving a very confused Ness.  
  
---Somewhere in Gondor---  
  
Bowser, on his pony, rode up to a big white city. He rode his pony up the stairs...and up...and up...and up...wait this is from the third movie. He just walked. Bowser began looking through the many records till he found the one he wanted. "......Shit....."  
  
---A few months later, Hobbiton---  
  
Ness walked into his dark house. "Hm...why didn't they have light bulbs in the middle-ages." Suddenly, a giant claw reached out and grabbed his shoulder, causing the boy to jump ten feet into the air.  
  
"IS IT SERECT?! IS IT SAFE?!" Bowser yelled.  
  
Ness quickly ran to the trunk, grabbed the envelope and handed it to Bowser. "Here!" Bowser grabbed it from Ness and threw it into the fire. "What was that for?"  
  
"Sorry, I can't control myself sometimes..." Bowser reached into the fire and pulled out the Ring. "Here, it's quite cool." He dropped it into Ness's hands only to have the boy jump around the room in pain.  
  
"OW! IT BURNS! IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!!!"  
  
"DAMN THESE LIZARD HANDS!!!"  
  
A few seconds later, after the had cooled down, Ness began to see words. "Hey, I see stuff! But...I can't read it. Is it Elvish?"  
  
"DAMN THE WORLD FRODO!" Bowser yelled. "YOU MUST LEAVE!!"  
  
"Wait, aren't we suposes to have a convastion about it?"  
  
"No, we're short on time." Bowser grabbed Ness's things and threw them on the small hobbit. "There, your all ready to go." Before Ness could answer, sounds of movement were heard in the bushes. "Evil spies from Mordor!" He said, reaching into the bush and pulling up...Dr. Mario!  
  
"Eeep!" Dr. Mario whined, curling into a ball. "Don't hurt me you crazy lizard!"  
  
"Hm, nah. I have a better idea. One that will make you famous."  
  
---The next morning---  
  
Bowser, Ness and a pony were walking. "Come along Sam." Ness said to the Pony...NO! IT WAS DR. MARIO!!  
  
So the three walked into the middle of the forest. "Okay my furry footed friends." Bowser said. "We're pressed for time, so we're gonna cut stuff out." He hoped on the horse. "Make for Bree, you dig?" Ness and Dr. Mario nodded. "There, meet me at the Dancing Doggie."  
  
"I thought it was the Prancing Pony." Dr. Mario said.  
  
"Well, I changed it. It's the Dancing Doggie. GANDALF HAS SPOKEN!!!" Bowser and his horse rode off into the dark forest, leaving to very scared and confused hobbits alone.  
  
To Be Countined...  
  
A/N: There. I tried to fit all of Chapter 1, FFotBB into one, but it was just soooooooo much...ARGH!!! I couldn't stand it. So, was it good? Bad? Another amazing work of art? should I burn it right now? PLEASE HELP! 


	2. Mushrooms are good for you!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything about LOTR's or SSBM. 

A/N: If you hold anything dear to you about Lord of the Rings, **READ THIS!**

Fellowship of the Bling-Bling's first half was written by my memory, so you will notice things from the movie will be out of place. The second half and then onto the very last last chapter will be written as I watch(ed) the movie. If you would like to read the Script Format versions, go to my homepage, e-mail me for a copy or

A/N: They aren't up YET, but they will be soon. Oh, Chapter 1 for some reason on the Script format comes up weird so let me play around with it for a while. You can get chapters 2-9 of FotBB very soon, then soon TMTTBT, and lastly RoaJwowaK (Yeah thats nice)

Sorry for you time!

**_Lord of the Rings (SSBM Style!)  
The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling  
Chapter II- Mushrooms are good for you!_**

---Isengard--- 

Mewtwo was standing outside with a staff looking up at a tree. The tree stared back, laughed, then went back to being a tree. "I hate trees..."

"SARUMAAAAAAAAN!!!" Bowser's voice was heard from thousands of inches away.

Mewtwo turned to face the giant turtle riding on a very small pony. "...Great..."

---Inside Isengard--- (I'm trying to save time!)

"So...you say your found the ring?"

"Yeah."

"And...it's evil?"

"Yep."

"And...a little midget has it?"

"Uh-huh."

"Who is only protected by...his gardener?"

"Yes!"

Mewtwo gave out an evil evil laugh. "HAHA!! IT SHALL BE MINE!!!"

Bowser gasped. "You! Your...evil!!! I should have known anyone who Christopher Lee played was evil! DAMN IT!!!"

"Gandalf, Gandalf, Gandalf. When will you ever learn? Join with me. The ring will look so pretty on my finger, y'know!" The cat said, holding up his balled finger. "Don't you think?"

"Honey, gold just isn't you color."

"IF YOU WILL NOT JOIN WITH ME-" Mewtwo reached for his staff, shut all the doors and lifted Bowser into the air. "THEN YOU SHALL DIEEEE!"

Bowser goes spinning upwards towards the top of the tower. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- BOOM! I'mnotreallydead,PeterJacksonjustwantedittoolooklikeit.Bastard."

---Somewhere in the happy green Shire---

"My feet hurt..." Dr. Mario complained.

"Shut up."

"My tummy is roaring..."

"Shut up."

"Are we there yet?"

"Be quiet!"

"You smell like gas..."

Ness turned around to yell at Dr. Mario, when instead he was then run over by a green blur. Another blur jumped out and fell onto Dr. Mario. "Oooough...Hey! Lookie!" Luigi said, pointing. "It's Frodo and Sam!"

Falco got up and looked around. "Where?"

Dr. Mario pushed the bird off. "Gah. Watch where your going, idiot!"

Luigi got off Ness and helped him up. "Ooow...Becarful next time Peepee."

"Pippin."

"HEY!" Came the voice of a male hobbit. "YOU LITTLE RATS!!! WHY DID YOU STEAL MY CORN!!! AND STUFF!!!"

"Shit..." Falco said, taking a step back. "It's Farmer Maggot. Let's run, ok?" So the four hobbits burst out into a mad dash through the corn feild, leading up too...uh-oh...A LEDGE! Falco stopped before he could run right off. "Damn...That's a long way down."

Luigi then crashed into Falco, Ness into Luigi and Dr. Mario into Ness sending all of the hobbits rolling down the hill and landing in mud. "Ouch..." Ness mutter, holding his head. "That was stupid..."

Luigi's eyes lit up. "MUSHROOMS!!!!" He pushed Dr. Mario off him and he and Falco ran over to start picking the mushrooms.

Ness also stood up and looked around. "Hey...we're on the road."

"So?" Falco and Luigi both asked.

"Gandy said that those horses will come at you and not stop...Let's get off the road...NOW!!!" Ness yelled, running over to the side of the road. He jumped under a log followed by Dr. Mario, Falco and Luigi. They waited...and waited...and waiting...

Then they heard horsey-feet coming. A black horse with evil red eyes stopped right over the log as a rider dressed all in black jumped off. He sniffed the air... "Mushrooms?!" It asked, looking around. "Hmm...I smell Mushrooms..." He leaned his head over the log and began smelling. "Muuuuuuushrooooooooooms...Oh muuuuuuuuuuuuuushroooooooooms!"

Ness began to go buggy-eyed and reached for the Ring. But Dr. Mario grabbed his hand and pulled it away. "Bad Frodo! Bad Boy!" He whispered as Falco through their bag of food off into the wild.

The Black Rider bolted up and looked around. "Wha-wha-what was that?!" It backed away slowly, hopped on its horse and road away saying, "I WILL GET MY MUSHROOMS!!!"

The four hobbits ran far away from the log and after a few minutes of running, stopped to catch their breath. "What the hell was that!!!" Falco asked Ness.

"Dunno..." Ness said calmly. "But I wanted the mushrooms..."

"Then why were you reaching for the Ring?" Dr. Mario asked.

Ness looked down at the Ring around his neck, which in return, winked at him. "Um...I don't really think I wanna talk about it."

"Hey..." Falco said. "Why don't we go to the Buckleberry Ferry."

"Buckleberry Ferry!" Luigi laughed. "Buckleberry Ferry! Say that ten times fast!" Falco then whacked Luigi on the head with a random log he had just picked up.

---That night---

The hobbits are dashing from tree to tree to try and avoid being seen from the Mushroom Maniac on a horse. "Hm, I don't see anyone..." Ness said, peering out.

"Ready to run like the little furry footed things we are?" Falco asked and got a nodd in reply. "GO!"

The four hobbits ran out...only to run face to face with a black rider! "GASP!" Went the Black Rider.

"GASP!" Went the Hobbits.

"GASP!" Went the Black Rider.

"RUN!" Went the Hobbits. The four turned and began to run down the dirt road towards the Buckleberry Ferry, the rider on their tail.

"HEY! I JUST WANT SOME MUSHROOMS!!" It yelled. The hobbits reached the ferry and Luigi and Dr. Mario ran on. Falco un-hooked the chain holding it and also go on. Ness was now running...all dramatic....

"JUMP, FRODO, JUMP!" The four yelled. Ness jumped in the air...and landed face first into the water. The other three sighed, pulled him onto the Ferry and sailed down the river, leaving a sad Black Rider who just wanted some mushrooms.

The Black Rider turned around. "Of course you know this means WAR!" He yelled as he road off into the night.

---Bree---

It was raining...boo...the four ran up to the gates of Bree and knocked on the gate. "WHO IS THERE!!!" Yelled the Watchguy.

"Um, hubble Gateman, please let us in." Ness begged.

"LUMP YOU!"

The hobbits stood in the rain for a few moments before breaking down the gate, and smashing the Gateguy.

---The Dancing Doggie---

They were just sitting there, chillin, y'know. Waiting for Bowser. Nothing to do. But Falco was up at the bar drinking. "Hey, um, Mister Frodo..." Dr. Mario said, pulling Ness's shirit. "That man...over thar...he's been staring at you." He pointed to a man in the corner smoking a pipe.

"Well, I don't see why not!" Ness said, jumping onto the table. "I'm so damn sexy, no one would want to take their eyes off me!!!" He began dancing a little before he got bored and sat back down as Falco returned with a giant cup of ale.

"Oooh, what in the world is that!" Luigi said.

"It's um...A pint..." Falco muttered, taking a sip. "It's for us birds only."

"I'm getting one!" Luigi yelled, hopping of the chair and running to the bar. As he did, a waiter walked by and Ness stopped him.

"Hey you." Ness said. adressing the waiter.

"My name is not You. Is there something you want?" The waiter asked.

"Yep!" Ness nodded and pointed to the man in the corner. "That man! Who is he?"

"Never seen him before in my life, but I know he's a ranger...Oh...and some people call him..." The waiter looked to his left...then his right...then his left... "Strider..."

"I see..."

"Frodo Baggins?! YES! I KNOW HIM!" Luigi's voice was heard from the bar. The three turned to see a very drunk Luigi pointing at Ness. "That's him! Frodo Baggins! He's my cousin!"

"NOOOOOOO!" Ness yelled, dashing at Luigi. "YOU FOOL OF A TOOK!" He yelled, slapping the green plumber. However, as luck would have it, Ness slipped and fell on the ground. "OW!!!" But little did he know...

...But he had thrown the Ring up into the air. It started to come down onto Ness's finger. "Oooooh, my first line!!!" Ness thought he heard the Ring say before it fell onto his finger and made him disappear.

Dr. Mario and Falco looked at eachother with panic eyes. "That's not good..." They both said, as Strider in the back got up.

---Weird World Place---

Ness got off the floor and looked around. He was still in the bar...but it looked like the world was disappearing before his eyes...then a giant red eye appeared out of the blue. "I SEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUU!!!!" The Red Eye said. Ness, full of fear about how a giant eye can talk, took off the Ring and returned to the bar...only to get picked up by the ranger.

---Strider's room---

Ness was thrown onto the floor by the angry ranger. "Ouch! Hey, what was that for!" He whined, looking up at the man.

"I can make myself unseen if I chose, but to go invisible is a rare gift." Strider said, taking off his hood to reveal...MARTH!

"Heya Marth!" Ness said with a smile. Just then, the door flew open and Dr. Mario, Falco and Luigi were standing there holding asorted...junk.

"YOU BETTER LET HIM GO YO- MARTH!" Dr. Mario said, surpirsed to see who he saw.

"We can't stay here..." Marth said, grabbing Ness and running from the room with the hobbits behind him. They ran across the street and to another Inn just as four certain cloaked fools entered the Dancing Doggie.

"I smell...Mushrooms..." Said The 1st Black Rider.

"They must be here!" Said Number 2.

"STAB THEM!!!" The Four Riders went to each of the four beds and began to stab, stab, stab, stab, STAB!!! Only after a few more stabs did the fourth rider deciced to pull of the covers to see...

"Guys...It's a pillow."

"WE'VE TURNED THEM INTO PILLOWS?!" Number Two said, shocked. The other three black riders sighed and left.

Across the street, however, the Blackriders Convastation sounded like a lot of high pitched screams. "What...what are they?" Ness asked Marth.

Marth looked out the window. "They were once great kings of men...but now...They are Ringwraiths...evil little things with obsession for mushrooms. And now that they know you have Mushrooms...they won't stop hunting you."

"Damn...I don't even like mushrooms."

"We've got to leave this place..." Marth said, standing up.

"Where are we going?" Ness asked.

"Rivendell."

To Be Contiuned...

A/N: Alright...I hope Chapter 2/3 isn't as big as chapter 1 was. Enjoy Part 2 of Chapter 1, which is really Chapter 2 in this story! AHA!


	3. Giant Mushrooms and Pony Slapping

Disclaimer: Hello there. As you are about to read, I do not own ANYTHING that has to do with LotR, SSBM, or...anything. Enjoy.  
  
A/N: Hello all my lovely readers. I should might as well say this now, before I get flames about how a Smasher should have played this person or this person is stupid to be played by this smasher. Yeah. Here's the reason:  
  
This story was already written in Script Format durning the Summer. This means that all the Charatcers have already been chosen. I have written up to about the point where Aragorn tells Theoden that Gondor calls for aid. After That, the story was banned. Any LotR people who appear after that point have not been casted yet. Everyone UP to that point has been, however. This story was supose to be another chapter to my story called Stupidness!, but it was too big to be put into one little chapter, so you will notice, if you read that story, the first few people are people in that story. Ness, Falco, Dr. Mario, Luigi, Bowser, Marth, and Mewtwo. After Chapter One in Script I changed my mind and got all of the Smashers in the story, hence why you are about to see...um, nevermind. ENJOY!  


**_Lord of the Rings (SSBM Style!)  
The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling  
Chapter III- Giant Mushrooms and Pony Slapping_**

Marth and his little Hobbits are walking...and walking...and walking...They are walking through Forests, through Swamps....through everything...yey...I hate walking. After about a week of walking, they stopped and looked up at giant cliff. "That's Weathertop." Marth said, pointing at the mountain. "We're gonna stay there for the night."  
  
Falco and Luigi started whispering to eachother, Dr. Mario stood there confused and Ness asked, "Why are we staying there?"  
  
"Because it looks like a giant mushroom..."  
  
---Weathertop---  
  
The five set up camp within a little cave like place. "Here ya go." Marth said, handing the four hobbits swords. "Your gonna need these."  
  
"We are?" Asked Luigi.  
  
"Yes...I have forseen it." Marth turned and started to leave. "I'm gonna go look around."  
  
"WAIT!" Falco yelled. "Your not suppose to in the book!"  
  
"OR AM I?!" Marth said, skipping off all giddy.  
  
Ness yawned and put his head down. "Nessy go beddy bye..." He said as he closed his eyes.  
  
"Hm...I'm hungry..." Dr. Mario said, taking out his pots and pans. "Let's cook!"  
  
"YEAH!!!" Falco and Luigi cheered. Dr. Mario set up a small cooking place and started up a fire...only to have it be stomped out by Ness.  
  
"YOU IDIOTS!! DON'T MAKE A FIRE!!!" He yelled. However, due to his small brain, it took a full seconds to learn that he had just stepped on burning hot wood and fire. "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"  
  
Off in the distance, a high pitch yell was heard. The hobbits jumped and huddled together. "Wha-what was dat!!" Luigi asked, hiding behind Dr. Mario.  
  
"It's...evil..." He responded. Dr. Mario pointed upwards. "TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN!!!" The four ran up a staircase that just seemed to appear and found themselfs on the very top of Weathertop. They looked around to see five Ringwraiths staring down at them.  
  
Falco reached for the sword at his side. "TO ARMS!!!"  
  
"TO ARMS!!" Dr. Mario and Luigi yelled as the three of them ran at the Ringwraiths, however, they were thrown aside with ease.  
  
"Give us the mushrooms!" Said Ringwraith 1. (A/N: I'll just call them Ringwraith and a number.)  
  
Ness began to back up against a rock. "You! You want the ring, DON'T YOU!!!" He yelled.  
  
The Five Ringwraiths began to whisper among themselfs before the fourth wraith answer. "Um, yeah, Well take the ring...if you want...just give us the mushrooms."  
  
"Please? We've been hungry for thousands of years!" Ringwraith 5 said.  
  
"YOU CAN NOT HAVE THE RING!!!" Ness bellowed, before placing it on his finger. He was then transported to the spooky world of the Ringwraiths.  
  
"Listen up Frodo!" Ringwraith 1 said. "Don't move, or I might hurt you." He started to reach for Ness, but the boy pulled away. "DAMN IT!! I SAID DON'T MOVE!!" He reached for him again, but this time, stabbed him. "Oops?"  
  
"Oh now you've gone and done it Bob!" Ringwraith 2 said. "You've stabbed the poor kid!"  
  
"Hey, I told him not to move, but did he listen?! Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"  
  
A figure jumped infront of Ness waving a torch, screaming, "Ayayayayayayaya."  
  
"HEY! What are you doing!?" Yelled Ringwraith 3. Ness removed the Ring to see that it was Marth. He was swinging the torch around, trying to fend off the Ringwraiths. "Becarful with that, you might hit so- AAAAAAH OH MY GOD!!! IT BURNS!!! AAAAAAAAAAH!!!" The poor Ringwraith yelled as Marth set his long cloak on fire. Number 3 began to run around blindly, until he stupidly ran right off the cliff and landed on the ground with a thud. The other four Wraiths stood there, in shock...  
  
Ringwraith 4 removed his sword. "Oh...now it's on..." The four wraiths charged at Marth, who set Ringwraith Number 1 on fire.  
  
"MY EYES!! MY EYES, THEY BURNNNNNN!!!" He yelled, before he tripped and turned into dust.  
  
"Oh my god, he killed Bob!"  
  
"YOU BASTARD!" The remaining three wraiths charged at the Swordsman, who very easily fought them off. Marth then set Numbers 2 and 4 on fire.  
  
"AAH! THATS IT, I GIVE UP!!" They both yelled before running of the side of Weathertop. Marth looked around and then his eyes fell upon the last Ringwraith, number 5.  
  
Ringwraith Number 5 was heading back over towards Ness. "Mushrooooooms, come here mushroooooo-" He turned and saw that Marth was glaring at him. "........Shit......." Marth threw the torch right into the Ringwraiths face, making him run off the side of the mountain.  
  
Marth ran over to Ness. "Frodo dude!"  
  
The other three hobbits also joined Marth. "Strider, he's hurt!!" Dr. Mario said.  
  
"Duh...And where we you three when this happened?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"We were hiding in a hole!" The three replied with a smile.  
  
Marth reached down and held up the sword Ringwraith 1 dropped when he, uh, 'died'. "He's been stabbed with a...um...nice so nice blade..." He said, as the blade on the sword disappeared.  
  
"Is he gonna die?" Asked Falco with a slight tone of hope in his voice.  
  
"He might...HE NEEDS ELVEN TREATMENT!! WE MUST RUN TO RIVENDELL!"  
  
---Not Weathertop---  
  
So they do so. Marth picked up Ness and the four left Weathertop and headed towards Rivendell, now running...yey...so they're running...and running...and running...They stop for a second in a place with giant stone trolls. "Wow..." Luigi said, looking up at the trolls. "That old rat was telling the truth about those trolls..."  
  
"Sam!" Marth said. "Go look for some pretty flowers to stop the poison!" Dr. Mario nodded and he and Marth walked off to find some pretty flowers. Marth saw some of the pretty flowers, but as he bent down to pick them up, a blade was brought right to his neck.  
  
"What's this? A ranger caught of gaurd? HAHA!!!"  
  
Back at the campsite, Falco and Luigi were poking sweaty Ness. "He's not doing so good, eh?" Luigi asked.  
  
Before Falco could reply, the sound of horsey-feet was heard coming from behind them. They turned around to see a white angel coming down on pegasus. "GASP!?" Went Ness.  
  
The Angel got off and the white blindly light stopped, only to reveal...sigh...Zelda... "Daaaaaaaaaamn, you weren't kidding! He looks horrbile!"  
  
"You need to learn how to trust me." Marth said, also jumping off the horse.  
  
"I'll go take him to see my daddy." Zelda said, grabbing Ness and putting him on the horse.  
  
"HEY!!!" Falco yelled. "YOUR NOT SUPPOSE TO RIDE HIM TO THE FORD!!!"  
  
"Well, Glory was a little busy today, so I took his place!" Zeld replied, jumping onto the horse.  
  
"Ride fast, my lovely Arwen!" Marth said with a smile.  
  
"Thats not your li-" But her words were cut short by Marth slapping the pony's ass.  
  
"RIDE!!!"  
  
"I'VE BEEN VIOLATED!!!" Yelled the Pony as he and Zelda galloped off.  
  
---Some plains the next day---  
  
Zelda is riding her pony at top speed. "Faster, faster, faster, FASTER!!" She yelled into the pony's ear.  
  
"Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, SHUT UP!!" Replied the Pony.  
  
As they rode, they noticed eight black horses following them. The Eight Ringwraiths have returned! "GIVE US THE BOY!!" Yelled Ringwraith 7.  
  
"YEAH!" Agreed Ringwraith 9. "HE HAS MUSHROOMS!"  
  
Ringwraith 5 put his hand on Ringwraith 9's shoulder. "It's not about the mushrooms anymore..." He said sadly. "It's about Bob..."  
  
"But...I still want the mushrooms..." Number 9 pouted.  
  
"We all do...a little inside..."  
  
So Zelda was ridding at top speed away from the evil black cloaked riders. She atlast reached a river and got across it, but on the other side, the Wraiths weren't far behind. The stopped at the edge of the water and Number 8 spoke. "Give us the boy!" He said.  
  
Zelda, somehow hearing them as you mush remember, their convastaions are just high pitch screams, raised her sword and yelled, "If you want him, COME AND CLAIM HIM!"  
  
"FINE!!" The eight wraiths began to cross the river as Zelda began to chant. A giant rumble was heard from down the stream and the wraiths turned to see a...  
  
"GIANT MUSHROOM!!!!" Number 6 yelled, pointing a Giant Mushroom of Water coming towards them. The eight began to ride away, but the water pounded down on them and they were washed down stream.  
  
"HA! I so own." Zelda smirked. She looked down to see Ness gasping for air. "NO!! FRODO!!! DON'T DIE!!" She said, placing him down on the ground.  
  
"Well, I'm not really gonna die just become a Ringwraith..." He said calmy.  
  
Zelda began to cry. "He's dead..."  
  
"No I'm not."  
  
"Shut up, your not fooling anybody."  
  
To Be Countined...  
  
A/N: That chapter had alot of script format stuff in it! YEY! THAT WAS THE ENTIRE CHAPTER 2 OF THE SCIRPT!! W00T! 


	4. CoughThe Council of Elrond™Cough

Disclaimer: HIIIIIIIIIII! Listen, I don't own it. Or anything else...HA!  
  
A/N: Hello! It's OCT.! Guess what dat means?! I can stop writting my humor and go back to Fear Itself! YEY GORE! I hope this chapter is good!

**__**

**_Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style)  
The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling  
Chapter IV- -Cough-The Concil of Elrond™-Cough-_**

"Ooooh...Me head...it spins...Where the fudge is I?"  
  
"Your in the house of Elrond, you idiot! Don't you remember where that chick was bringing you?!"  
  
Ness opened his eyes to see Bowser sitting at his bed side smoking a pipe. "Hey! It's...Gandy!"  
  
"Yep!" Bowser said with a smile.  
  
The midget sat up in his bed. "Hey...why didn't you meet us at the Pra- um, Dancing Dog?"  
  
Bowser looked around the room. "Um.......I was.....delayed..."  
  
---FlAsHbAcK---  
  
(A/N: In the movie, which I'm going by, since about 60 of the people who saw the movie didn't read the books, these flashbacks are not together...I just forgot about 'em.)  
  
---Isengard---  
  
Bowser was sent flying on the ground by a punch from Mewtwo. "Foolish young Koopa!" He laughed. "You'll get nowhere if you side with the Ring Bearer!"  
  
"Can I say no and still live?"  
  
"NO!!!" Mewtwo used his magic powers to send Bowser over to the very very edge of the tower and to hold him up by his feet. "Join me! Together...We can rule da world!"  
  
"NO! YOU SMELL BAD!"  
  
"FINE! I'll just join that Sauron dude..." Mewtwo used his magic and flipped Bowser back onto the tower and then left.  
  
Bowser growled to himself. "Mean old cat." He looked up and saw a random moth flying by. "FOOD!!!" Bowser grabbed the moth in one claw and ate it.  
  
---Later!---  
  
All the trees around Isengard have been ripped down. Boo-hoo. Mewtwo was once again picking on Bowser. "Dude...This Sauron is really cool. Join me and we can cool."  
  
Bowser stamped his foot. "NO!"  
  
"Fine! Then I shall kill you!"  
  
The koopa slash wizard rolled his eyes. "That's what you've been saying for days! But have you?! Nooooooooooooooooooooo! I'll just do it for you!" Bowser turned and jumped of the tower and began falling...and falling...and falling...  
  
"Bow- Gandalf!" Mewtwo yelled running to the side of the tower and screaming at the top of his lungs. "THE GIANT EAGLES WERE TOO MUCH MONEY FOR NORMAL FORMAT!"  
  
"Argh! Now he tell m-"  
  
POW!  
  
Bowser had just falling, about 100 feet to the ground and slammed in the ground. Ouch.  
  
---End FlAsHbAcK---  
  
"Oh! So thats why you have a black eye!" Ness said. "How in the world did you survive the fall?"  
  
Before Bowser could answer, Fox walked in all Elf-like. "Welcome to Rivendell™, Nano Dragon™."  
  
"I'm in Rivendell?! COOL!"  
  
---RIVENDELL! YEY!---  
  
Ness is walking around when he hears someone scream. "HEY! IT'S FRODO!" He turned to see Luigi pointing. "GET HIM!"  
  
Dr. Mario and Falco ran up to Ness and hugged him very very tight as Ness's eyes began to roll back in his head. "Can't...breathe...lungs...closing...getting...dark..."  
  
"Okay enough of that!" Falco said, letting go along with Dr. Mario.  
  
Ness coughed and turned around to see Pichu walking up towards them. "Dildo! Your...young?!"  
  
Pichu nodded. "Aye me boy. Aye."  
  
"But, you should be like..111 years old..."  
  
"Well..." Pichu said, looking up towards Bowser who was laughing uneasy. "Dildo Baggins was recasted for 'reason beyond our control.'  
  
---Gates of Rivendell (Fox: -Cough-™-Cough-)---  
  
Fox and Bowser were staring down as they watch people enter. "Gandalf™, please tell you didn't invite these people?"  
  
"I didn't invite these people..."  
  
Link rode in on a horse, got off and looked around.  
  
Popo walked in with a bunch of other little hairy midgets with his hammer looking all cool.  
  
Captain Falcon galloped in, tried to get off his horse but tripped and fell flat on his face. "OW!"  
  
"Grr...Why Gandalf™! WHY!?" Fox yelled at Bowser. "I didn't want these idiots here!"  
  
"But...we're leaving the Ring-"  
  
"-Cough-™-Cough-"  
  
Bowser stared at Fox confused but shrugged it off. "Um...We're leaving it in Rivendell."  
  
"-Cough-™-Cough-"  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Hush!" Fox said, holding his hand up. "We can't leave the Ring™ here! Sauron's™ eye is fixed on Rivendell™!" Before Bowser could respond, a random elf walked by and gave Fox a peice of paper. "Hmmm..."  
  
"What's that say?" Bowser asked.  
  
"It says, 'Due to the fact that this is a Super Smash Brothers: Melee™ paradoy of Lord of the Rings™, The part of Sauron™ shall no longer be played by a Giant Eye™, but Master Hand™.'"  
  
"Well..." Bowser said, rubbing his chin. "It does make more sense for a HAND to want a ring. Why would a eye want a ring?"  
  
"Eyebrow Ring™."  
  
"STOP SAYING TRADEMARK IN THAT CUTE VERSION OF TM!" Bowser yelled. "Hm...We must have a meeting about the Ring of Power!!!" He looked around the room, waiting for a ™ to appear.  
  
"It's not coming to you Gandalf™ son of...um...Gandalf™. But yes, we must have a talk about the Ring of the Power™. Tomorrow!!! But now it's time to make sure my little girl isn't with that evil Ranger! WEEE!" Fox turned around and skipped out the room.  
  
---Council of Elrond™--- (Where is the night sceens?! Okay! Here...)  
  
C. Falcon: Cool. A sword. (Cuts himself) Ow. (Runs away)  
  
Marth: (Puts the sword back)  
  
Zelda: Marth...I love you.  
  
Marth: Yeah...I love you too.  
  
Zelda: Here take my necklace.  
  
(Done. Now...)  
  
---Council of Elrond™---  
  
There were random Elves, Humans, Dwarves, Bowser, Ness and Marth sitting in a circle. Fox then walked with his Pimp stick and his two hoes Daisy and Samus. "Yo yo yo! Wazzzzzzup mah homies!!!" Fox said swing his pimp stick. (Nana: -Takes the Keyboard back from Peach)  
  
---Council of Elrond™---  
  
(A/N: The Council sceen may be out-of-order)  
  
There were random Elves, Humans, Dwarves, Bowser, Ness and Marth sitting in a circle. Fox then walked with. "Hello everyone. We are here to talk about the Ring of Power™, are we not?"  
  
"Um...yes!" The Council replied.  
  
"Very well!" Fox took his seat and picked up a burning torch. "BRING WOOD AND OIL!"  
  
The council stared at Fox for a second...until someone yelled, "HEY! THAT'S MY LINE, BEEP!"  
  
"Oops..Yeah sorry..." Fox put the torch down and cough. "Bring forth the Ring™, Frodo™."  
  
Ness got up out of his chair and walked over towards a giant stone. He placed the Ring on the rock and headed back to his seat. "Oooooooh!" Went the Council.  
  
"So it does exist..." Captain Falcon said, slipping out of his chair. "DAMN IT!...It is a gift!" He said standing up. "Yes! I see it! 'Tis a gift!" Falcon began walking over towards the ring but then tripped. "Ouchy!" He got back up and contiuned. "I have a great idea. Let Gondor-"  
  
"-Cough-™-Cough-"  
  
"Have the Ring!" He finished.  
  
"-Cough-™-Cough-"  
  
"You can not weild it!" Marth yelled. "None of us can, you ass! If one of us could, why would be having this stupid talk!"  
  
Falcon turned towards Marth. "And what would a ranger know of such madders?!"  
  
Link jumped out of his seat. "He is no mere Ranger, although he looks as dirty as one." Captain Falcon turned towards Link. "He is Aragron-"  
  
"-Cough-™-Cough-"  
  
"Son of...um...Aranowhatshisnameish."  
  
"-Cough-Arathorn™-Cough-"  
  
Captain Falcon looked shocked and turned towards Marth. "That dirty, smelly ranger is Isuldor's-"  
  
"-Cough-Wrong Spelling-Cough-"  
  
"Heir?!"  
  
"And heir to the throne of Gondor-" Link quickly added.  
  
"-Cough-™-Cough-"  
  
"You prissy pansy steward!"  
  
"-Cough-He's not Steward yet-Cough-" The Council turned and looked at Fox, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"And Elf saying prissy pansy?! HAHAHAHA!!" Falcon laughed, but the quickly stopped as he was getting horrible death glares from the Elves.  
  
Marth sighed and said in Elvish, "_Sit down, Lego_." Link listened and sat down muttering some curses about not to be called Lego.  
  
Captain Falcon gave up and turned back to his seat. "Gondor-"  
  
"-Cough-™-Cough-"  
  
"-Has no king..." He muttered, sitting down, but missing the seat. "ARGH!"  
  
Fox pointed to the ring. "It's evil, thus meaning it must be destroyed!"  
  
"Fine!" Popo said, hopping out of his chair. He walked over and slammed his mallet on the ring, only causing the mallet to burst into flames and him to fall flat on his back. "Arrrrrrrrgh?!"  
  
Fox chuckled and shook his head. "Foolish Dwarf. The Ring of Power™ can no be destroyed by any weapon we have here Gimli™, son of Gloin™. It was made in the firey pits of Mount Doom™! Only there can it be un-made. And one of you...must do this..."  
  
The Council stayed quiet. Some leaves fell and a random bird flew by. "..."  
  
"Ahem, Fox..." Captain Falco said. "One does not walk into Mordor-  
  
"-Cough-™-Cough-"  
  
"-idiot! Not with 10,000 men could you do it! There is evil there that does not sleep!"  
  
Link quickly stood up. "Did you not just hear what Lord Elrond-"  
  
"-Cough-™-Cough-"  
  
"-Just said?! The ring must be destoryed!"  
  
Popo hopped out his seat next. "And I suppose your gonna be the one to do it?!"  
  
Captain Falcon stood up aswell. "It's a waste of time!"  
  
Popo walked up to Link and looked up at him with a very evil glare. "I will be dead, before I see the Ring in the hands of a Elf!"  
  
"!!!" The Elves jumped up and began ranting, ready to attack Popo, but Link held them back. "Don't worry..." He said with a smirk. "Little Dwarf is just full on sugar."  
  
"!!!" The Dwarves jumped up and began ranting, ready to attack Link. "Never trust a Elf!" Popo yelled.  
  
"!!!" The Humans jumped up and began ranting, just with anyone about anything. "Gondor should get the ring!!!" Captain Falco screamed.  
  
Marth sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Oh God..."  
  
"!!!" Th- Oh, um, Bowser said, jumping up and begining to rant. As all the people were ranting, Marth was having a headache, and Fox was having a coughing a fit trying to keep up with everyone's mistakes...  
  
--Ness's World---  
  
Ness stared at the Ring, not hearing any of the people screaming and ranting. He stared at it...longer...and longer...and longer...till... "Sup?" The Ring asked.  
  
Ness shrugged. "Nothin' Much. Just bored. I don't know what the hell these people are talking about."  
  
"Me too." Answered the Ring. "But I heard they want to kill me..."  
  
"Yeah, I heard that too."  
  
"Damn..." The Ring frowned...if it could.  
  
"Hey...Your cool..." Ness smiled at the Ring.  
  
"I know."  
  
---Council of Elrond™---  
  
"YO! I WILL TAKE IT!!" Ness screamed, standing up.  
  
"Hubba-wa?!" Went Bowser.  
  
"Hubba-wa?!" Went Marth.  
  
"Hubba-wa?!" Went Popo, Link, Captain Falcon and Fox.  
  
"Hubba-wa?!" Went all the Humans, Dwarves and Elves.  
  
"I will take the ring to Mordor!" Ness paused for a second. "Um...But I don't know the way..."  
  
"Hmm..." The Council began to talk among themself.  
  
"I will help you bare this burden, Nano Dragons-"  
  
"-Cough-™-Cough-"  
  
"As long as it's yours to bare."  
  
Marth got up and walked over to Ness, bowing on one knee. "I swore on my life, I would protect you...or something along those lines. And that's what I'm gonna do cause thats just the kinda guy I am. You have my sword."  
  
Link stepped foward. "And you have my bow!"  
  
Popo jumped infront of Link. "And you have my Axe...or rather Mallet!"  
  
Captain Falcon stood up and walked over to Ness. You carry the fate of us all, little one."  
  
Ness smiled. "I know!"  
  
If this is the will of the council, then Gondor-"  
  
"-Cough-™-Cough-"  
  
"Will see it done."  
  
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!" Everyone turned to see Dr. Mario dash out from the bushes the join the group. "Mister Frodo ain't going nowhere without me!!!"  
  
"Indeed it is hard to spearate you two at all, when he is summoned to a serect council and YOU are NOT!" Fox told Dr. Mario.  
  
"Oi! Oi!"  
  
Fox turned around surpirsed to see Falco and Luigi run out and join Dr. Mario and Ness. "MORE?!"  
  
"Yep! Listen, we risked out lives out there for this kid..." Falco said. "And he owes me a new bike. So I'm gonna be with him till he pays me back!"  
  
"And you need people of intelligence of this sort of mission...quest...thingy!" Luigi exclaimed.  
  
Falco whispered into Luigi's ear, "That rules you out Pee."  
  
"Pip..."  
  
"Nine Companions..." Fox said, looking over the group. Bowser, Ness, Falco, Dr. Mario, Luigi, Link, Popo, Marth and Captain Falcon stood their in all their glory. "Very well then. You shall be known at the Fellowship of the Bling-Bling!"  
  
The Fellowship memebers gave eachother a high-five. "W00T!"  
  
To Be Contiuned...  
  
A/N: I tried to fit the entire Chapter 3 of Script into this one chapter. Sorry if it's alot like a script story, or people are just jumping around...


	5. The Long & Pointless Walk

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or SSBM.  
  
A/N: Sorry about the wait. I wanted to finish up my other story first. Yey!

  
**_Lord of the Rings (SSBM Style!)  
The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling  
Chapter V- The Long & Pointless Walk_  
**

---Rivendell, Pichu's Room---  
  
Pichu and Ness are standing in Pichu's room early in the morning. Pichu is going through his stuff to give to Ness. "Hmm...I've got this...and this...and- oops! Not this. That was from your daddy's wilder days."  
  
"Your not my dad..." Ness told Pichu.  
  
"I know..." Pichu sighed. "I know...Here! Take this!" He turned around and handed Ness a sword. "It's mah old baby! Made by the elves, y'know! And it glows blue when Orcs are near." Ness looked over the blade and held it up to Pichu. A small tiny tint of blue formed on the sword. "It's name is King!"  
  
"Sting..." Ness corrected.  
  
"No, It's King." Said Pichu, crossing his arms.  
  
"It's Sting. I read the script."  
  
"WELL SO DID I!"  
  
"STING!"  
  
"KING!"  
  
"STING!"  
  
"KING!"  
  
"STING!"  
  
"KING KING KING KING KING ME!"  
  
"Damn..." Ness reached into his pocket and put a checker piece on Pichu's head as the little rat went back to searching for goodies.  
  
Pichu held up another item for Ness. "Here!" He said, passing to to Ness. "It's Mithrill! Light as a feather, but as hard as Dragon Scales!"  
  
"So how does the Shelobs poison get into me, IF it is indeed as tough as you say?" Ness remarked, putting his hands on his hips.  
  
The old Pichu stood there for a second before shoving the vest at Ness. "Strip for me. Um, I mean, try it on." Ness began to take off his shirt and as he did, the ring could be seen hanging around his neck. Pichu's eyes went wide and stared. "Ooh...my...old...ring..."  
  
"Yes." Ness said, putting his shirt back on. "Your OLD ring."  
  
Little rat man began to rub his palms together. "I would...very much like to hold it...one last time."  
  
"Too Bad."  
  
"HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Pichu jumped at Ness and bit him in his neck.  
  
('Ness Getting Hurt' Scoreboard- 2)  
  
The hobbit pushed Pichu off him, took the vest and ran off screaming about rabid Pichu's.  
  
---Gates of Rivendell---  
  
The Fellowship were standing at the gate of Rivendell with all the Elves surrounding them, bidding them good-bye. Just then, a voice boomed from no where, "HEY! THIS WASN'T IN THE ORIGINAL VERSION!!!" Peach screamed before Kirby knocked her out cold.  
  
"My Friends..." Fox started. "We are gathered here today to bid you a last farewell before you set off to destroy the One Ring™. Most likely, you will not return. In that case, I will have to save the world myself."  
  
But ignoring Fox, off towards the side were some pregnant Elf woman crying. "Nooooooooooo! Merry! Peepee! Don't leave us!"  
  
Luigi rolled his eyes. "Pippin...this is getting old..."  
  
"Don't worry ladies!" Falco said, waving his wing. "We'll be back within nine months!"  
  
"And atlast, we are ready to head out!" Bowser said with a smile. "Like, YEY! The Fellowship-"  
  
"-Cough-™-Cough-"  
  
"-Awaits the Ring Bearer."  
  
Ness skipped up to the first spot in the Fellowship and looked down the two roads. "Hmm, Mordor-"  
  
"-Cough-™-Cough-"  
  
"Gandalf-"  
  
"-Cough™-Cough-" Fox was then hog-tied by the elves.  
  
"Is it left or right?"  
  
Bowser looked down the left road, then the right road, then the left again, then down at Ness. The camera zooms onto his face and he has a very confused look. "I have no memory of this place..." So the Fellowship thinks it's best to just rest and eat before their long mission, quest, thing.  
  
Captain Falcon, Popo and Link are all sitting at camp fire. "Argh..." Moaned Falcon. "Gandy is so stupid."  
  
"Yeah." Popo said with a smile. "All Humans are."  
  
"I AM OFFENDED!" Captain Falcon yelled, punching Popo in the eye. "Take that!" The little Ice Climber's eyes filled up with tears. He then turned on his heals and ran off crying.  
  
"Geez, look what you've gone and done NOW." Link said, rolling his eyes.  
  
"But..." The Captain slid back down to his seat. "He called me bald..."  
  
"Borry...You are bald..." Captain Falcon broke down crying onto Link as the Elf patted his back.  
  
Off towards the back of Rivendell, Marth and Zelda were making out while Luigi and Falco watched. "Pssh, Lucky Marth..." Falco whispered to Luigi.  
  
"He's always lucky..." Luigi replied, sighing.  
  
Dr. Mario was cooking some food over another camp fire. "Hmm...food...yummy...my one line..."  
  
At the very edge of the Gates sat Bowser, smoking his pipe. Ness slowly crawled up to him and poked him. "Um, Gandy?"  
  
Bowser didn't replied. Instead he took a puff and said, "Riddles in the dark..."  
  
"Can't you just teleport us to Mordor with your magical wizard powers?"  
  
The Koopa turned around and patted Ness on the head. "No, I cannot. You see, I am but a humble wizard. You've been reading to many Harry Potter books. Ah-HA!"  
  
"What, what is it?" Asked the Fellowship, standing up.  
  
"I remembered the way! It's-" Bowser flipped a coin and looked at the side it landed on. "Left!" So the Fellowship, at long last, heads on out for their long and semi-pointless walk. Of course, life can be all 'Let's just watch them walk and laugh.' Oh no, we get to see what they REALLY talked about...what fun.  
  
---Somewhere Along the Way---  
  
"Are we there yet?" Asked Luigi.  
  
"No." Replied Bowser.  
  
"Now?"  
  
"No."  
  
Luigi waited a few seconds. "How bout n-"  
  
Bowser turned around and yelled at Luigi, his voice dark and evil. "IF YOU DARE SAY THAT PHRASE AGAIN, I SWEAR I SHALL KILL YOU AS I DID THAT STUPID DILDO!" The entire Fellowship gasped. "Oops..."  
  
"He killed Dildo!" Said Falco, pointing at Bowser.  
  
"Yeah! And I was blamed!" Ness added.  
  
Bowser began to grow tall, dark and scary and his voice became evil and echoey sounding. "Do not take me for a conjure of cheap tricks! I am not trying to rob you!"  
  
"Eep!" The Fellowship moaned, moving together.  
  
But as they did, Bowser's dark and evil features disappeared. "I'm trying to help you."  
  
"Goosey Goosey Gandy!" They all yelled, running up to Bowser and hugging him.  
  
"Yes, Yes." Said Bowser, patting their heads. "It's all right now."  
  
So they walk and walk. Oh! They get to that very cool shot of them walking between the rocks that was in ever trailer. Bowser past by it first, holding onto his hat. Link was up second. "Hehe." He laughed. "I am sooooo cool."  
  
Popo followed quickly, holding his mallet that was now painted as an ax. He gave a growl which sounded more like a giggle. Then come our lovely hobbits. Ness, Falco and Luigi run up first leaving poor ol' Dr. Mario to bring up the rear with there pony. Captain Falcon was next. As he was heading down, he slipped and fell on Dr. Mario. "Damn it!" Marth was last, but the camera cut away too fast to see him.  
  
---Rock Place (Forgot if It had a name)---  
  
"So guys, listen." Bowser said, resting on a rock. "We're gonna head this way for 40 days, ya dig? Then if we have some luck, the Gap of Rohan will still be open."  
  
"Why would you wanna go to the Gap of Rohan!?" Ness asked, eating some food.  
  
"I heard they sell some killer white robes." Bowser replied.  
  
Captain Falcon was teaching Luigi and Falco how to fight. "One, Two, Five!" He said, swing his sword as Luigi blocked it. "Very good!"  
  
Luigi tilted his head. "One, Two, Five?"  
  
"Ooh! Me next! Me next!" Falco said, reading his sword.  
  
"Gandy!" Popo said, poking Bowser. "If I didn't know better, I'd say we're taking the long way around. Why not pass through Moria?"  
  
Bowser turned at Popo and screamed, "BECAUSE I HATE DWARVES!"  
  
"OUCH!"  
  
Bowser and Popo turned to see that Captain Falcon had hit Falco's hand. "Oops! I'm sorry!" Falcon said, reaching down to help Falco.  
  
"YOU! YOU MADE IT BLEED!" Falco yelled, but upon checking he saw no blood. "Wait...no...you didn't...but still, THAT HURT! LET'S GET HIM!" So Falco and Luigi jump onto Captain Falcon and began beating him up while Marth sat there and laughed.  
  
Link jumped onto a rock and looked into the sky. He saw a bunch of birds flying towards them. "What in the world?"  
  
"It's just a wisp of smoke!" Popo said, going back to eating.  
  
Marth had held down the two Hobbits long enough for Captain Falcon to get up and look at the cloud himself. "It's moving fast...against the wind."  
  
"Spies from Saruman!" Link shouted.  
  
"HIIIIIIIIDE!" Bowser yelled as the Fellowship hid under the rocks and bushes.  
  
"Kaw! Kaw! Kaw!" Went the birds are the flew around their camp ground, landed, picked up some food and flew off. "Kaw! Kaw! Kaw!"  
  
The rest of the Fellowship stood up and looked around. Bowser was the first to speak. "The Gap is being watched by Saruman. Damn it...I had my heart set on there. Oh well..." He pointed up towards the mountains. "We must take the pass of Caradhras!"  
  
---Redhorn Pass of Caradhras---  
  
The Fellowship is making their way through the snow, all freezing their asses off. "Onward to certain death!" Bowser said, holding his staff out to point onwards.  
  
However, Ness was seeing things and thought he just heard someone say, 'Fall into my loving arms', so Ness decided to trip and roll down the hill, smashing his head into a rock.  
  
('Ness Getting Hurt' Scoreboard- 3)  
  
"Frodo! Are you okay?" Marth said, helping Ness up.  
  
"Yeah. I heard a voice in my head. That's all." He replied, brushing off the snow. "Wait...The Ring! It's gone!"  
  
There is was, lying up on the hill in snow. Ness was about to go for, but someone picked it up before he did. Captain Falcon was staring into it. "It's so pretty..." He whispered.  
  
"I know, aren't I?" Replied the Ring.  
  
"I want to keep it..."  
  
"BOROMIR!" Marth yelled, interrupting his daydreaming.  
  
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaat!" Captain Falcon replied.  
  
"Give the ring back to Frodo."  
  
"OH! Yeah!" Falcon skipped down the hill and handed the Ring to Frodo. "Here!" He began to walk back up towards where the others were.  
  
Ness looked down at the Ring. "Ooooh, did you see that?!" Ring said. "He soooooo wanted me."  
  
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" Screamed Ness, causing all of the Fellowship to turn and look at him. "But you said you only had eyes for ME!"  
  
"Yeah, well, you see...It's kinda not working out..."  
  
"NO! GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE!!!"  
  
The Fellowship, who might I remind you, cannot hear the ring, are now questioning Ness's sanity. Captain Falcon however, on his way up the hill, tripped and rolled down. "WYAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He screamed as he rolled down and past Ness and Marth and right off the edge of the mountain.  
  
"Okay." Ring said. "One more chance."  
  
"YES!" Ness jumped up and down hugging the Ring. "I'm gonna make you the happiest Ring in the world!"  
  
"Glee!"  
  
---Isengard---  
  
Mewtwo was standing over the pits of fire watching his birds return to him. "Kaw! Kaw! Kaw!" Went his birds as the kitty gave an evil laugh.  
  
"So you try and lead them over Caradhras? And what if the mountain defeats you?" Mewtwo said to no one, walking away. "Would you risk a more dangerous road? Ha-ha! I'm scheming. This is my scheming face." With that, Mewtwo teleport away.  
  
---Higher up on Caradhras---  
  
The Fellowship was now making their way through very deep snow during a very bad snow storm. Bowser was, again, leading. "Argh! Argh! Argh! Damn Snow!" He yelled, pushing through the snow.  
  
Link, however, was walking ONTOP of the snow. "Hehehe!" He giggled. "I am _soooooooooooo_ much more cooler then I was a while ago!" Something caught his eye. "There is a fell voice in the wind." He said, staring out into the snow.  
  
Bowser turned around shocked. "IT'S SARUMAN!!" BOOM! Thunder hit the snow above them and it fell ontop of them.  
  
"Gandalf!" Marth yelled. "We must turn back!"  
  
"NO!" Bowser stood up and began chanting into the wind.  
  
---Isengard---  
  
Mewtwo was standing ontop of his tower chanting. Notice as on his right hand he was a Band-Aid.  
  
---Caradhras---  
  
"Oh, this is pointless..." Bowser said, throwing his staff down. "He is Saruman the White, I am Gandalf the Grey. I'm weak..."  
  
BOOM! Thunder hit the snow above them, but this time they were all buried. Slowly, each of the Fellowship members pulled themselves out of the snow. "We cannot stay here!" Captain Falcon yelled. "This will be the death of the hobbits!"  
  
"..." Bowser didn't answer.  
  
"We must turn back and make for the Gap of Rohan!"  
  
"..." Bowser didn't answer.  
  
"If we cannot pass over the mountain, let's go through it!" Popo suggested. "Let's go through the mines of Moria!"  
  
"..." Bowser didn't answer.  
  
"Stop Dot, Dot, Dotting!" The Fellowship yelled.  
  
"..." Bowser answered. "Let the Ring Bearer, decide."  
  
Ness looked at all his friends. Captain Falcon was holding up a sign saying- 'Gap of Rohan! Great Prices off Tunics and Robes, Today Only!'. Popo was holding up a sign saying- 'You will be treated as a KING if you go to Moria, since your smaller the Dwarves!'. And Bowser was holding up a sign saying- 'Turn back and I _swear_ I will kill you'. Ness thought about if for a second before answering. "We shall go through the mines."  
  
"..." Bowser sighed. "So be it." The Fellowship turned away and headed back down the mountain. Caradhras had defeated them.  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
A/N: Did you enjoy this chapter? Hehe! I did! It was fun to write it! 


	6. Moria is Scary!

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings OR Super Smasher Brothers.  
  
A/N: HIHIHIHIHIHHIIIIII!! Hello there! We're about to start Chapter 5/6 of Fellowship of the Bling Bling, but first! Someone sent me a question! **What did that Band-Aid have to do with anything?** o.O If you have Fellowship of the Ring, go back to the part where Saruman is chanting on Isengard. If you pause it, you see on his right hand he has a Band-Aid on...which isn't 'normal' for middle-earth...right? Also! If you go back and watch Frodo fall down the snow in Caradhras, you can see when he starts to stand up that his hairy feet are just plastic! .......Hey, you notice things like this after watching the same scene over...and over...and over....and over...  


  
**_Lord of the Rings (SSBM Style!  
The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling  
Chapter VI- Moria is Scary!_**

The Fellowship making their way along the a mountain side. This was, of course, boring. So Link decided to teach them an Elven song. "Ooooooooooooooooooooh!" Link sang. "There was a hobbit who had a dog and Bilbo was his name-o!"  
  
"B-I-B-L-O!" Sang the Fellowship. "B-I-B-L-O! B-I-B-L-O!"  
  
"And Biblo was his name-o!"  
  
Bowser wasn't singing, sadly. He was busying feeling the wall. "You know..." He started, his tone of voice saying, 'It's time for a history lesson'. "Dwarf doors are invisible when closed."  
  
"Yup!" Popo said with a silly grin. "We're great at hiding!"  
  
The Koopa Mage chucked. "Yeah, and sometimes even the owners of the mines forget where the doors are if they're closed for too long."  
  
Popo blushed and Link laughed. "Why doesn't that surprise me." The Elf said, rolling his eyes.  
  
"HEY! If you've got something to say, SAY IT TO MY FACE!" Popo yelled to Link.  
  
"I would, but your face is too low!"  
  
"Atleast I'm not afraid of getting dirty!"  
  
"I'm not!"  
  
"Really?" Popo picked up some dirt and threw it on Link. Link stared at the dirt for a second before running off screaming like a little girl. "Mawhuahuahaa! Link Two, Popo One!"  
  
"Hey! I found it!" The Fellowship turned to Bowser who was brushing some dirt away. Bowser looked as the moon hit the door and it magically appeared.  
  
"Woah...It's pretty..." Ness and Luigi said, staring into the pretty blue light filling the door.  
  
"What's it say?" Asked Dr. Mario, pointing at the Elvish text.  
  
Bowser gave a chuckle which was really an evil laugh. "Oh My Dear Dear Hobbit!" He said, patting Dr. Mario on the head. "It says, Doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak, Friend, and Enter!"  
  
"What's that mean?" Asked Falco. "Speak, Friend, and Enter, I mean."  
  
"It's simple, really! It means if your a friend, speak the password and enter!" Said Bowser.  
  
"Are you a friend?" Captain Falcon asked.  
  
"Yup!"  
  
Marth walked up. "But, what's the password then?"  
  
Bowser looked around and shuffled his feet. There was a moment of silence until the Fellowship turned and looked at Popo. "...Gimli?"  
  
"THEY NEVER TOLD ME!" Yelled Popo.  
  
"...Gandalf?"  
  
"Ummmm..." Bowser picked his staff up and put it to the door. "I shall try! Annon edhellen, edro hi ammen! Fennas nogothrim, lasto beth lammen!" He chanted as the Fellowship watched.  
  
The gates remained closed. "..."  
  
Bowser tried again. "Edro, Edro!"  
  
The gates remained closed. "..."  
  
"Grr! OPEN DAMN YOU, OPEN!"  
  
The gates remained closed. "..." The Fellowship sighed and sat down. So they started...eating and smoking again. It must have been great to live back then. But off in the distance there was a cry of a wolf.  
  
"AAAAAAH!" Yelled Bill. "WOLVES!" The Pony ran off into the darkness, mostly to be eaten. Poor Horse.  
  
"Bill! Noooooooooooo!" Dr. Mario said, breaking down crying. "No! Bill! Nooo!"  
  
Marth patted Dr. Mario on the back. "There, there. The mines are no place for a pony anyway."  
  
Meanwhile, over with the other Hobbits, Falco and Luigi were tossing stones into the water. Falco threw his and it splashed right in the water. Luigi tossed his and it skipped across the water a little father. "Haha!" Said Luigi, poking Falco. "Beat that!" He poked him. "Beat that!" He poked him again. "Beat that!" Poke. "Beat that!" Poke. "Beat that, beat that, beat that, beat that!" Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Slap. "Ow..."  
  
Captain Falcon picked up a stone and tossed it. It didn't hit the water, but went right over to the other side of the lake. "Ha! Beat That!" He said, poking Luigi. "Beat that!" He poked him again, but Luigi didn't want to wait for more pokes, oh no, not Luigi. The green plumber bit Captain Falcon's finger. "OW! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!!" He yelled, waving his hand around wildly with Luigi attached.  
  
Falco reached down for another rock and was about to throw it when Marth grabbed his hand. "Do not disturb the wawa." Said Marth.  
  
"Frodo was supposed to say that..." Falco moaned.  
  
"Not in the movie."  
  
Ness was walking back and forth. "Gandy, I don't get it."  
  
"I know you don't get it. Just sit down! You're making me head spin...Ooooh...Me head..." Bowser said, holding his skull. "It Spins."  
  
A little lightbulb appeared over Ness's head...no wait, it was a candle stick. "I've got an Idea!" Ness rushed to Bowser and began shaking him back and forth. "Quick! What's the Elvish word for Friend!"  
  
Bowser's world was spinning and he couldn't tell what was going on. "Friend? Friend? I have a friend named Mellon..."  
  
"Mellon!" Ness said, dropping the dazed Koopa. "MELLON!" He screamed to the door.  
  
The gates remained closed. "Oh Did I say Mellon?" Bowser said followed with a drunken laugh. "I meant Malon."  
  
The gates opened. "YEY!" Cheered the Fellowship. Well, all but one...  
  
Falco stood there with big sad eyes. "What? Merry was supposed to figure the riddle out!" He glared over at Ness. "You! YOU HAVE STOLEN MY GORILY FOR THE LAST TIME!" Falco jumped up and landed ontop of Ness.  
  
"Hey! Get off!" Falco then began poking the boy with his beak. "AH! AH! BIRD! BIRD! AAAAAAAH!!!" Ness screamed as he fell to the ground under the poking of Falco.  
  
('Ness Getting Hurt' Scoreboard: 4)  
  
Of course, the other Fellowship members rushed to his rescue...by entering Moria without a second look back.  
  
---Moria---  
  
"Lumos!" Bowser said, pressing the 'ON' switch on his staff.  
  
"Ah Soon Master Elf you'll be enjoy the fable hospitality of the dwarves!" Popo boasted to Link.  
  
While Popo was boasting, Luigi was admiring the the dead bodies on the floor...until he tripped over one. "Ewwwww...I stepped in dead Dwarf..."  
  
"And they call it a mine!" Popo was still ranting, ingoring the faces that the remaining Fellowship memebers had on. "A MINE! AHAHHAAAAAA!"  
  
"This is no Mine, you idiot..." Captain Falcon looking around all nervous. "It's a tomb." He turned to head out, but instead tripped over body. "Damn my luck..."  
  
"HO!" Popo said with wide open eyes. He dashed to a body. "HO! HO!"  
  
"Where?" Marth looked around the room.  
  
"Santa?" Bowser looked around the room.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Popo screamed, hugging the dead body. "Ew..." He dropped his and got up as fast as he could."  
  
Link reached down and picked up one of the arrows in the Dwarf. "Goblins!" He stated. Link knew his arrows.  
  
"Nox!" Bowser said, quickling hitting the 'OFF' switch. "Out of the mines!"  
  
---Outside---  
  
Luigi and Dr. Mario dashed out first, only to see that Falco was still poking Ness. Just as they exited, however, a giant monster came up out of the water. "Oooooh..." Moaned the Watcher of the Water. "Who threw this rock on my head so very long ago?!" Using it's giant tenicals, it grabbed onto Ness and started to pull him into the water. "You! You did it, didn't you!"  
  
"EEP!" Screamed the three other Hobbits, trying to pull Ness back. "Strider!" Yelled Dr. Mario.  
  
"Aragorn!" Marth yelled back. He and Captain Falcon dashed out into the lake and began chopping off tenicals as Luigi took out his swords and slashed the tenical holding Ness.  
  
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUCH!" Screamed Mr. Watcher. He grabbed Ness and began to dangle him over the water. "YOU! YOU MR. KNOCKED OUT HOBBIT! YOU DID THIS TO ME!"  
  
Captain Falcon was busy chopping up the tenicals to see that Ness was in danger. "Take this! And This! And This! And-" He missed one strike, tripped and fell into the water.  
  
Marth did notice. He charged over through the water and chopped the tenical holding onto Ness. "OUCHY!" Screamed Mr. Watcher as Ness fell into Marth's arms.  
  
"Yo, I know I just like said to get out but..." Bowser said holding up his staff. "GET YO SORRY ASS INTO THE MINES!"  
  
Marth, carrying Ness began to run towards shore but the Watcher was really pissed. Wouldn't you? They were gonna make it, but the Link took out his bow and shot the Watcher right in his eyes. "OWWWWWIEEEESSSS!" Watcher cried, looking away. "LEAVE ME ALONE!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaahhh-" It disappeared under the water.  
  
"Woah, that wasn't in the movie..." Marth said, looking on with a surpirsed face.  
  
"Oh yeah." Watched returned to the surface and charged at them. "MUST CRUSH GATE FOR NO REASON!" The Fellowship screamed and ran into the Mines as the Watcher of the Water crushed the gates.  
  
---Moria---  
  
"Lumos." Bowser turned his staff on again. "Geez, my batteries are gonna run out. Why? Because we have no other choice but to face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are fouler things then Orcs in the deeper places of our world..."  
  
---Day One---  
  
Bowser was leading them over a endless pit and wanted to show off how smart he was. "The wealth of Moria was not in gold or jewels! But Mithrill!" He pressed a button on his staff reading, 'BRIGHTS' and his staff lit up the entire endless pit.  
  
"Ooooooooooooooooh, Pretty..." The Fellowship said, staring in awe.  
  
"Dildo had a shirt of Mithrill once." Bowser returned his staff to normal mode and began walking again.  
  
"A Kingly Gift!" Popo remarked and Bowser laughed.  
  
"Yup! I never told him...but it was worth more the bloodly shire itself..."  
  
"Really?!" Asked the Hobbits and got a nod. "Cool!" So they take some pictures and move on to...  
  
---Day Two---  
  
One Day Two, it seemed that Bowser was going through his monthly mood swing. "Bowser, are we there yet?" Asked Luigi.  
  
"No! WE ARE NOT THERE YET!" He screamed back. "We would have been there if _someone_ didn't chose the damn mines! But noooooooooooooooooooo..." Bowser said, rolling his head on the no. "He had to chose these dark, damp, ugly, smell, MINES!!! GOD!" He threw his arms up in the air. "You know what? I'm gonna die down here. And then you'll be all, 'Nooo! I'm lost and confused without Gandalf!' And I'll be all 'Hahaha!' Yeah. That's what I'm gonna do." He turned around to see the entire Fellowship cowering together in fear. "Yeah. I am sooooooo doing that next chapter."  
  
---Day Three---  
  
Uh-oh! Problem! The Company of the Ring (Ha! Something new!) was doing fine until they reached a place with three doors. "Which way Gandalf?" Asked Captain Falcon.  
  
Bowser stood there, with the most confused look on him the Koopa could ever get. The camera zoomed in on his face as he said, "I have no memory of this place..."  
  
"ARGH!" The Fellowship threw down their weapons, backpacks, and anything they were holding, for yet ANOTHER rest.  
  
"Psssssssssst! Peepee!" Falco whispered to Luigi.  
  
"Geez, It's Pippin! I don't understand! It was cute the first time, but STOP!" Luigi yelled as low as he could.  
  
"Hush Pee. Look!" Falco held up a book. "It's Gandalf's Diary!"  
  
"Oooooooooooooooh!" Luigi sqeauled. "We have to be naughty and open it!" So they did.  
  
_Day 35-  
  
Argh! What is this?! A Fellowship...with these idiots?! WHAT HAVE I DONE!! Great...now I'm stuck with these fools for a year...what fun...I have some angst-ridden hobbit called Frodo, his fat lover Sam, some retarted little cousins Merry and Peepee_ (Luigi corrects the book), _a prissy pansy human named Boromir, some Elf who can't sing to save his life named Legolas, a smelly midget named Gimli and some other Ranger who really really REALLY needs soap named Aragon. This is just great..._  
  
Falco flipped to a more recent page.  
  
_Day 49-  
  
I'm sorry. I'm not good at keeping time. As it only been 13 days? ...Well, It has now. Today we were heading up on these mountain things...Caradhras? Whatever, I had no clue where I'm going...in fact, I was leading this group around in circles for days! And they don't seem to notice! I've been making this whole thing up as I go along! Well, that will show them for just putting me in the leader spot without asking! I mean, come on!!! Argh! Here comes that Elf..._  
  
Falco went right to the last page.  
  
_Day 58-  
  
Stupid, stupid, stupid!!! I let Frodo pick the mines! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE THESE MINES!!! THEY SMELL!! Hmph...well, atleast I KNOW my way around in here...I think. This rock I'm leaning on does look a little too familiar though...Oooh, how I want to just push that stupid Peepee Took_ (Luigi corrects the book) _off the ledge! If I do, I'll try and make it look like his cousin did it! YES! YES! I FRAMED FRODO, I CAN FRAME MERRY! HAHAHAHA! Oh...Hello Aragon...Hey don't take my book awa-_  
  
Falco shut the book and tossed it over the ledge. "Well...that was...intersting..."  
  
"Gandy?"  
  
Bowser threw down his pipe and turned around to scream in Ness's face. "WHAT! WHAT! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT! DON'T YOU HAVE OTHER PEOPLE TO BOTHER!!!"  
  
"But, there is something down there!" Ness said, holding onto Bowser's leg.  
  
"Oh...that...Yeah..." Bowser laughed to himself. "That's Gollum."  
  
"Really?" Ness peered over the side of the cliff to see Gollum climbing up the rocks. "Gasp! Kill it Gandy! Kill it!"  
  
"I'm sorry, but I can not." Said Bowser. "Gollum will have an important part to play, for good or evil."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"And he's gonna bite off one of your fingers."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Nothing!" Bowser stood up and looked around. "Oh and by the way, his name is Sméagol." He sniffed the air and a smile came across his face. "I remember where I am!"  
  
"YEY!" Cheered the Fellowship as the followed him deeper in the mines.  
  
---Deeper into the Mines---  
  
The group heading into a dark and giant room. Bowser held up his staff and whispered, "Let me risk a little more light." His staff went onto the 'BRIGHTS' version again and the entire room was filled with light. "GENTELMAN! BEHOLD! The Great City of Dimrill Dale."  
  
"Um, that's not what the city is called..." Whispered Falco.  
  
"YES IT IS! SHUT UP!"  
  
"Wow..." Marth and Captain both said, staring up.  
  
"Amazing...for Dwarves, anyway." Link said with a smirk and only got an evil lookin return. "Po-Popo? Put down the dirt...Please?"  
  
Popo was about to toss the dirt at Link, but instead, was whacked on the head by Bowser. "Idiot!" He yelled. "Look over there! It's A Tomb! Go cry over it!"  
  
Popo turned and saw the tomb Bowser had just metion. "!!!" He said...somehow, rushing over to the tomb and dashing inside. "No! NOOOOO!!"  
  
The Fellowship followed Popo in and looked around at the dirty tomb. "It's dusty and dirty in here..." Dr. Mario said looking around.  
  
"Most tombs are." Reminded Captain Falcon.  
  
"Gandalf?" Marth asked as Bowser took a step forward towards the tomb.  
  
"It says..." Bowser tried to look around the crying Ice Climber. "It says..." Bowser still couldn't see past the floods of tears. "GIMLI! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF MAN!" Popo stopped crying as Bowser read aloud, "Here lies Balin, son of Fundin. Lord of Moria."  
  
"So...he's dead, right?" Ness asked.  
  
"Yes." Bowser nodded. "He is dead. It is as I feared."  
  
And there, the Fellowship stood, in the Tomb of Balin, with their heads bowed in respect.  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
A/N: Yey! Chapter 5/6 Is done! Woo-hoo! I was having so much fun re-writing these storys...I forgot Bowser 'dies' next chapter! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Bowser: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 


	7. ByeBye Bowser!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything you are about to read. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. 

A/N: Hello all my lovely fans. Ready for a sad chapter? I am. Enjoy!

**_Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style)   
The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling _**

**_Chapter VII- Bye-Bye Bowser!_**

---Balin's Tomb---

The Fellowship was standing there, their heads low in sadness over the death of a dwarf they had never met. "We mustn't linger her!" Link said, poking Captain Falcon, who fell to the ground.

"Damn you, Elf!" He said, standing up.

Bowser walked over to a dead body of a dwarf and started to pull the book from his hands. "NO! IT'S MINE!" Yelled the dead dwarf as Bowser ripped the book from his hands. "OoOoOooooOoOooOOoooOoW!"

"They have taken the bridge..." Bowser read. "Drums, in the deep."

While Bowser read, Luigi was walking around the tomb doing stuff that would get you yelled at. "Ooooooh..." He said, coming to a dead dwarf's body, sitting on the edge of a well. Luigi paused for a second, then said out loud, "I'm gonna be stupid and touch it!"

"We have locked the doors...We can not get out..."

Luigi reached up towards the arrow in the chest...

"They are coming...!"

Oops! Luigi twisted the arrow and his head fell off into the well, making loud clanging sounds till it at last smashed into the bottom of the well. Bowser looked over at Luigi with wide eyes. "FOOL OF A TOOK!" He screamed, whacking Luigi on his head. "DID YOU NOT HERE ME?! THEY ARE COMING!" The mad koopa then began to slap Luigi silly. "BAD! BAD! BAD! BAD! BAD!"

Luigi stared up at Bowser with big, tearful eyes and began to cry. "Now look what you've done!" Ness yelled.

"He started it!"

From deep within the mines, sounds of drums and some monster thingys chanting, 'Arrororororoooo!' could be heard. "They will be the ones who finish it..." Dr. Mario said, backing up towards Bowser.

Bowser's eyes went wide. "They are coming!"

"AAAAAAAAH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Captain Falcon screamed, running around the tomb. "I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I'M TOO YOUNG!! I'VE HAVEN'T EVEN HAD SEX YET!" SLAP! "Ow..."

Marth was standing next to Falcon, who had a big red hand print on his face. "Shut up and go close the doors." Captain Falcon nodded and ran up towards the doors. He looked outside, gasped and withdrew his head as two arrows hit the door and Marth dashed up and helped him shut them.

"Words can not discribe the fear I have just seen..." Captain Falcon said with a shocked face. "So I shall use the magic of Interruptive dance!" He began dancing around the room singing, "They have a cave troll!" Link ingored Captain Falcon and tossed Marth some axes to help shut the door.

Luigi leaned over and whispered to Falco, "I didn't know you sing in interruptive dance..."

"Quick!" Marth yelled to the Hobbits. "Stay close to Gandy!"

"Come to me, my little strawberries!" Bowser comanded, pulling the four close to him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Popo yelled, jumping on the tomb. "LET THEM COME! THERE IS STILL ONE DWARF/ICE CLIMBER LEFT IN MORIA THAT STILL DRAWS BREATH!"

Link and Marth quickly drew out their bows and pointed them at the door. The Goblins began to hack away at the wood as a small hole opened. Link shot his arrow into the holw and killed something, then drew another. Marth then shot into a new hole and killed one just as the door came in. "Arororororoorooooooo!" Chanted scary Goblins as they charged into the room. (A/N: That IS the sound they make, right?) Link shot another through it's next before Captain Falcon and Marth charged in.

"YAAAA!" Yelled Marth and he swung his sword into a Goblin. He turned around and cut another in two and stabbed one behind him in his chest. Captain Falcon's fighting style was different, tripping over anything in his path and causing mass destruction with his sword.

Bowser charged into the Goblins followed by the wittle hobbits and begin attacking the same one. Popo was whacking Goblins as they ran by the tomb. Link was also shooting some Goblins and using his dagger/sword/whatever you picture him with to kill as well. Well that was all good and everything, but now a random Goblin comes in with a chain. He gave it a tuck and BOOM! ENTER THE CAVE TROLL!! "Wow..." Bowser and Link said, staring at the giant troll.

"HE WASN'T IN THE BOOK!" Falco screamed before going back to killing Gobbies.

So Mr. Cave Troll brings his club flying downwards towards Dr. Mario. "Eep...Duck-" He rolled inbetween the Cave Troll's legs. "And Cover! HA!" The other Fellowship members rolled their eyes and went back to fighting.

Marth, Captain Falcon and Link quickly ran over to the chain that was still around the Cave Troll's neck. They began pulling it and dragging it over to the side. "ROAR!" Went the Cave Troll. (A/N: ARGH! I HATE FIGHTING SCEENS!! -cries-) Marth looked into Link's eyes and notices a plan of evil. They both let go of the chain as Cave Troll swung his body around, sending Captain Falcon, who was still holding on, into a soild wall.

"Ouuuffffh..." He moaned before he passed out.

Popo was still ontop of the tomb. He tosses a mini-ax/hammer into the Cave Troll's leg. "Roar!" Went the Cave Troll again. He brought his club down onto the tomb and smashed it to peices just as Popo jumped out of the wave.

"FO BALIN!" Popo yelled, whacking the Cave Troll with his hammer. When the giant turned around and glared at Popo, the little dwarf dashed off into a hole in the wall crying.

Then the Cave Troll's eyes came upon Ness. "Roar?!" He roared.

Ness turned and looked at the Cave Troll. "Why does everyone want me?!" He whined as the Cave Troll charged at him. He jumped out of the way and hide ontop of a ledge.

"Ness!" Falco whispered, hiding with Luigi behind another pillar. "Come here!" Ness made a dash for Falco and Luigi but the Cave Troll was all like, 'No way, bitch!' and swung his club into the ledge, sending the Ringbearer flying.

"Ouch..." The angsty hobbit said, looking around. The Cave Troll was closing in and he had no where to go. "NO! SPARE US! SPAAAAARE US!!" Ness closed his eyes and awaited death but then Marth jumped down from the ledge all heroic and speared the troll in the chest.

"HAHA!" Marth cheered as the choir in the back went, 'Aragorn!'. But then the Cave Troll whacked Marth into the wall, knocking him out cold. The Cave Troll pulled the spear from his chest and threw it at Ness.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSP!" Ness, um, gasped as the Cave Troll began to twist the spear within Ness.

('Ness Getting Hurt' Scoreboard: 5)

Bowser turned around and saw Ness and the Cave Troll. "Why do they always want HIM!?" He whined, then went back to fighting.

Falco and Luigi looked at eachother and were all, 'Now it's on.' So they jump onto the Cave Trolls back and began stabbing it. Link took out his bow and got into postion..."DIE!" Falco yelled, jabbing his sword into the Troll's back.

"ROAR!" Yelled Mr. Cave Troll. Link shot his arrow into his mouth and it went right into the poor Troll's brain. "Ooooouh..." The Cave Troll began to stagger. "I was so misunderstood..." He whined before going, 'Oooooooooouuuuuuuuoooooooooooh' and falling to the ground, dead.

Captain Falcon stuck his head out from his hole. "Where am I?" He looked over at the Troll and screamed. "Is it dead!?"

Over with Ness, Marth began to pick the limp body into his arms, but Dr. Mario cut him off and did it himself. "Frodo?!" They both asked in unison.

Ness opened his eyes and let out a loud gasp. "FOOLED YOU! HAHAHA!!!"

"But how?" Marth asked. "That spear! It would have killed me!"

"Duh, you're a human..." Ness showed them the vest of Mithrill. "Or maybe it was this?"

"Mithrill..." Popo said, amazed. "You're full of surprises, Master Baggins..."

"I know."

Bowser suddenly appeared. "Hey guys, I'm sorry to interupt this touching seen, but..." He pointed out the door, which you could see little Goblin shadows moving up the stairs on the wall. "We must make for the Bridge of Khazad-Dûm!"

So the Fellowship runs out of the tomb with the cool music playing! Yeah! Look at them run! They keep running through the long hallway, even though behind was a trail of Goblins. Soon the Fellowship was surrounded. "CRAP!" Went the Fellowship.

"Hehehe!" Went the Goblins.

But as the Goblins were closing in, a sound of banging was heard in the distance. The Goblins looked at each other and quickly dashed off. The Fellowship stared in surprise and then the banging got louder. "What new devilry is this Gandy?" Captain Falcon whispered to Bowser.

Bowser closed his eyes and rested on his staff. "A Balrog...This foe is beyond any of you..."

"!!!" The Fellowship gasped in shocked.

"..." Bowser still had his eyes closed.

"What do we do?!" The Fellowship asked.

"..." Bowser still had his eyes closed.

"Gandalf!?"

"Wha?" Bowser looked up and rubbed his eyes. "Oh sorry, I dozed off... RUN!!"

So they do. The run through a door and down some stairs, but there is a small crack in them. Link shows off his Elf skills and jumps across. "Gandalf!" He says as Bowser jumps into Link's arms. But Bowser was too heavy and he crushed Link, causing the two of them to roll down the stairs. Captain Falcon grabbed Luigi and Falco and jumped. When they did, some more of the rocks began to fall.

Captain Falcon landed safely, and put the two down. "Wow...I did something...with out messing it up!" He was about to do a victory dance, but remembered he could fall to his death at any moment.

Marth tossed Dr. Mario over, who fell ontop of Captain Falcon. Like Link and Bowser, the two of them rolled down the stairs and disappeared. Marth reached over to Popo but was stopped by his hand. "Nobody tosses a Dwarf!" So Popo ran for all his might and jumped, and almost didn't make it. Luigi threw his hand out and grabbed Popo by his hood as he yelled, "Not the hood!"

"I thought it was beard..." Luigi said, pulling the dwarf onto the stair.

"Ew, Beards?" Popo stood up and brushed the dirt off his clothes. "Beards are icky."

Now for more tension, more of the stairs begin to fall away and a giant stone comes smashing down on the back. Marth and Ness are stuck on the stairs. "Lean foward..." Marth said. Ness did so and the stair came crashing into the other side. The two hoped off and the Five rushed down the stairs to find the others as the the back stairs fell into the fire below. Might I add, that same cool music is still playing.

So they keep running and find the other four near the bridge of Khazad-Dûm. "What kept you?" Asked Bowser as he pushed them over the bridge. So they ran across it just as the Balrog appeared. Bowser stopped in the middle of the bridge and glared at the Balrog.

"Who dares disturb my slumber?" Asked Balrog, yawning. He made a flaming bullwhip appear and started to cross the bridge.

"You can not pass!" Bowser said, reading his sword and staff.

The other Fellowship members stared wide-eyed. "Wait, he was SERIOUS?!" Ness yeld, remembering what he had said last chapter.

"Well, ya, I can pass..." Balrog took a step onto the bridge.

The Koopa mage began casting a sheild around him. "I am the sevant to the Secret Fire, weilder of the flame of Anor! Dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udûn!"

"Oooooh Mr. Tough Guy now?" Balrog laughed.

Bowser gave a snarl. "Go back to the shadow."

"NO!"

"YOOOOOOOOOOOU! SHAAAAAAAALL NOOOOOOOOOOOT! PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!" Bowser screamed, slamming his staff into the stone, causing the rock around the Balrog to break.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Balrog yelled, falling intothe darkness. "NOTICE AS I HAVE WINGS, BUT CAN NOT FLY!!!"

Bowser smirked as he watched the Balrog fall into the darkness. He turned around and lifted his arms. "I AM GANDALF, HEAR ME ROAR!!" But then the bullwhip flew back up and grabbed Bowser by the leg. "ARGH!" He fell to the ground as was dragged over to the edge of the bridge.

"GANDALF!" Yelled the Fellowship. Marth began to run over to him but was stopped by Goblins shooting arrows.

"GANDY!" Ness stared in shock and horror.

Bowser looked towards the Fellowship with sad eyes. "Fly, you fools!" So he lets go and falls into the darkness.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Screamed Ness in Slow Motion. The arrows began to hit closer to the Fellowship, to they decicded to morn later and get the hell out. But of course, in slow motion.

---Right outside Moria---

Everyone dashed onto the rocks through the giant, non-hidden gate. Luigi fell to the ground and started to cry along with Falco. Popo was trying to run back into the Mines saying he forgot his bag and Captain Falcon was holding him. And over in the corner was Link with a look on his face that showed he didn't know that this is what death was. Marth, who has ice in his blood, just cleans off his sword. "Lego! Get them up."

"GIVE THEM A MOMENT YOU COLD HEARTED RANGER!" Yelled Captain Falcon.

"By night, these hills will be filled with orcs! We don't want that, now do we?!"

"No Mr. Marth..." Said the Fellowship dully.

Marth nodded and picked Dr. Mario up. "On your feet Sam." He looked around. "Hey, where is Frodo?"

"Hey, ho, to the bottle I go! To heal my heart and drown my woe! The rain may fall, the wind may blow, but there are still many miles to go!" Ness sang, skipping down the hill.

"Ummm..."

"Oh yeah!" Ness turned around as a single tear slid down his face.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Geez, and I thought it was bad in Script format. MY EYES ARE BURNING! Oh yeah, here is Bowser's lament.

Bowser: -Cries- I died! Waaaaaaaaaaah!

_When evening in the Shire was grey his footsteps on the Hills were heard;   
before the dawn he went away on journey long without a word._

_From Wilderland to Western shore,   
from northern waste to southern hill,   
through dragon-lair and hidden door and darkling woods he walk at will._

_With Dwarf and Hobbit, Elves and Men,   
with mortal and immortal folk,   
with bird on bough and beast in den,   
in their own secret tongues he spoke._

_A deadly sword, a healing hand,   
a back that bent beneath its load;   
a trumpet-voice, a burning brand,   
a weary pilgrim on the road._

_A lord of wisdom, throned he sat,   
swift in anger, quick to laugh;   
an old man in a battered hat who leaned upon a thorny staff._

_He stood upon the bridge alone and Fire and Shadow both defied;   
his staff was broken on the stone,   
in Khazad-Dûm his wisdom died._

Bowser: Woah. Did you make that just for meeeeeeeee? -Sheepish grin- Thank you J.R.R. Tolken!


	8. Of Fangirls and Freaking Scary Elves

Disclaimer: SSBM Not Mine. LotR Not mine. 

Bowser: -Shopping for white robes in a store called, 'Between Life and Death' at the Gap of Rohan-

A/N: Now that Bowser is gone, let's begin Chapter 7/8 of the Fellowship story! -I did the count. This is chapter '8' of the new version. Going by that, we are 8/10 chapters through the first movie/book. 80 Finished! Also, this chapter might be hard to put down on normal format due to the fact that in the orginal is was a chapter of pure humor with weird cuts. I'll try my best.

**_Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style!)   
The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling   
Chapter VIII- Of Fangirls and Freaking Scary Elves_**

The Fellowship is making there way through the meadow thingy and are now entering the Woods of Lothl¢rien. So now they are walking through the forest, looking up at all the pretty falling leaves. "Stay close Hobbits!" Popo said, trying to get the four 'kiddies' to join him. "They say there is a witch in these forests..."

"Do they..." Ness rolled his eyes, not caring.

Dr. Mario leaned over and whispered to the other Hobbits, "Is he going crazy?"

"Yes!" Falco responded.

Popo, however, thought he was saving the hobbit's souls. "They say all who look upon her...fall under her spell..."

"Well, we better no look at her..." Ness said dully.

"Indeed! But this is one Dwarf she won't get so easily. I have the ears of a hawk and the eyes of a fox." Popo stopped and thought about what he had just said. "Switch that around." He then looked up and came face to face with an arrow. "Oh...Hello there..."

"AAAAAAAAH!" Screamed the Hobbits as they all were surrounded by archers and arrows.

Link drew out one of his arrows but noticed he two was surrounded. "Grrr..." He growled, muttering about how pretty these elves must think they are.

"A dwarf breathes so loudly, we could have shot him in the dark." Came the voice of Young Link as he appeared from behind a tree. "And yes, these Elves are much more prettier then you." Young Link ducked as an arrow flew at him from the Older version of himself. "Ha! Prissy."

Link crossed his arms. "Atleast I'm not gonna die..."

---Later that Night---

"Sooooooooooo, Lego. Aragorn. I've heard of you guys." Young Link said. "I read about in this story once. I think you guys were making out or something."

"Yes." Marth replied. "Those stories are very common...In both sections..."

Young Link turned his gaze onto Ness. "You bring great evil with you..."

"Yes, but go easy on the little dwarf." Link said, patting Popo on the head. Popo then began swinging his mallet/ax around, trying to hit Link, but the elf just placed his hand on Popo's forehead and stood there, laughing.

The Mini-Link lifted his arm and pointed to the sky. "WE MUST MEET MY MISTRESS!"

---River, Next Day---

(A/N: This part wasn't in the movie, but I remember reading about it in the book. Or something along these lines)

The group, now with Young Link and his elves, came to a river. "We gotta go over the river and through the woods."

"But, My dearest Mini-Link." Captain Falcon said, patting Young Link on the head. "We have nothing to cross on."

Young Link gave a laugh, snapped his fingers and a rope appeared over the river, extending from one side to the other. "Gentlemen! Behold! The Rope of Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!" He said, pointing at the rope. "We've gotta go over the river and through the woods! Like I said before!"

"For the record, I can walk across the rope..." Link said. "But the others will have to swim."

"SWIM!?!" Captain Falcon yelled. "I CAN'T SWIM!!!"

"Pul-WEEZ!" Young Link flipped his hair and ran across the rope. He tied two more ropes around a tree and dashed back to the side with the Fellowship. He tied the other end around a tree and nodded. "Now we have three ropes."

Link crossed first, having no problems at all. Luigi was right behind him, doing the same. Falco, Ness and Dr. Mario were tripping over eachother, and Marth had to hold Captain Falcon's hand while crossing. Popo's turn came but then...

"No, no, no Master Dwarf!" Young Link, holding up a rag. "You've gotta go blindfolded!" Popo stared at Young Link while the Fellowship giggled on the other side.

"Listen..." Popo explained.. "I am as likely to betray you as that Link wanna-be over there." He pointed at Link, who simply shook his head.

"I am Link!" Link said.

"Oh yeah? Then where is Orlando Bloom? Hmmm?! HMMMMM!?"

"I killed him!"

**BOOM!**

**CRASH!**

**KA-BOOM!**

The sky grew black. Not gray, pitch black. Thunder boomed and lightening was seen. It looked as if the very world was about to explode. "Wha-What's going on?!" Asked Link as the Fellowship began to huttle together. From the sky, A woman dressed in walk looked like Indian clothes came from the sky. She stopped and looked Link straight in the eye. "Hello?" The Elf asked, backing up a little.

"I heard you killed Orlando Bloom." The woman said.

"No, it was a jo-"

"No jokes." She lifted her hand and covered Link's mouth. "You've upset the balance of fangirls. You must be punished."

"WHAAAAAAT?!"

The woman lifted her hands to the sky and in a flash of light, a group of girls wearing T-shirts with Orlando Blooms face on them, appeared infront of Link, all foaming at the mouth, ready to tear him to peices. "We're sporty." Said the woman cheif. "We'll give you till the count of three to run."

"You better run Link!" Marth advised. "I cut Roy's cheek once and he looked like a monster for a week and this happened to me!"

"One..." Link looked around, screamed and began to run into the woods. "Tw- Three! GET HIM!" The Fangirls all gave a roar and charged after Link. They almost got him, but then from the sky came another group of girls, alot smaller then the Orlando Bloom girls.

"Who dares to come between us and revenge?!" Yelled the Orlando Bloom Fangirls.

"It is us! The Link Fangirls!" The fangirls of Link said. Just then, another flash of light and a large group of fangirls appeared right next to the Link Fangirls.

"And we are the Elijah Wood Fangirls!" Said the new group.

The Orlando fan girls gasped in shock. "And you side with the Link Fangirls?!"

"Yes!" Said Elijah's fangirls. "If Orlando Bloom is gone, Elijah is the cutest! Link Fangirls! CHAAAAAAAAAAARGE!" The Three groups of Fangirls drew their swords and charged at eachother, getting into a big bloodly fight. Popo and Young Link slid past them and joined the rest of the Fellowship.

"Um...Wanna get moving?" Dr. Mario asked, getting a nod from everyone in the Fellowship. They started to turn away but then, from the sky, they heard:

"OH MY GAWD! IT'S MARTH!"

"RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" The Fellowship screamed, running deeper into the woods to escape the Marth Fangirls.

---Lothl¢rien---

The Company of the Ring entered the throne room, lead by Young Link. "My lady, we've got guests!"

From the center of the stairs, a great bright blue light began to shine down on the Fellowship, blinding most of them, as Peach and Sheik decended down the stairs. It looked almost angelic until Peach made her greeting. "WAZZUP MAH HOMIES!" The Princess yelled, waving to the Fellowship. "We've gotten to the best part, MY part!"

"Welcome to Lothl¢rien..." Sheik greeted, more calmly. (A/N: Sheik is a boy here...Sorry, just needed someone to be Celeborn.) He looked over the group and counted. "Eight there are here, yet nine set out from Rivendell. Tell me, did Lord Elrond have a change in consul?"

"No..." The Fellowship responded, sadly.

"Then tell me, where is Gandalf the Grey?"

"He has fallen into shadow..." Peach said, looking off into space. "Oh well, who cares! He never liked me anyway."

Sheik looked down with a sad face and sighed. "Okay...If anyone needs me, I'll be over here..." He noticed that everyone in the room, even the elves, were busy looking at Peach and now ingoring him for the rest of the movie. "...Damn you, Peter Jackson..."

"So anyway..." Peach looked at Captain Falcon with a scary glare. "You guys are gonna rest here tonight and be safe and sleep and sleep and be safe cause it's safe to be sleeping here..." She paused and began to laugh. "I'm sorry, but I'm higher then a fucking kite right now..."

The Fellowship backed away from Peach slightly. "And they thought I was crazy..." Captain Falcon whispered.

"But guys, don't worr-" Peach continued to talk to the other Fellowship members, but now was talking to Ness in his mind. "Welcome, Frodo of the Shire...ONE WHO HAS SEEN THE EYE!" She looked right at Ness and opened her eyes really really big.

"Well, it's a hand now, not eye." Ness thought back.

"Shall I change it to hand then?" Peach's mind asked.

"Sure..."

"Welcome, Frodo of the Shire...ONE WHO HAS SEEN THE HAND!" She looked right at Ness and opened her eyes really really big.

"Well, I myself haven't seen the hand YET." Ness's head responded.

"Do you want to be eye or hand!?"

"Dunno!"

"Welcome, Frodo of the Shire...ONE WHO HAS SEEN SAURON!" She looked right at Ness and opened her eyes really really big.

---Later That Night...Again---

The Fellowship was resting in a room that was under a tree's roots. In the back, Elves were singing. "A Lament for Gandalf..." Link whispered.

"What are they saying?" Luigi asked.

"I have not the heart to tell you, as it was written last chapter."

While this was all going on, Marth had went off to go find Captain Falcon. He found him resting under a tree. "Hullo Borry!" He greeted.

Captain Falcon didn't answer. Instead he pulled Marth down to his face by Marth's colar and began to shake him back and forth. "I HEARD A VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD!" He screamed.

"That's never good..."

The Captain let go of Marth and began to cry. But as he was crying, for some, unseen, unknown reason, he slipped out of the seat and fell to the ground. He didn't move, just kept crying. "If Gondor falls..." He said, trying to stand up. Captain Falcon shook his head and smiled at Marth. "When we finish our mission, the white city will have blazing trumpits for us!"

"Really?!" Marth smiled.

"Well, mostly for me, but yeah, you too." Captain Falcon answered. "And they'll take up the cry, The Lords of Gondor have retur-" Captain Falcon's body gave into his tiredness and he fell asleep on Marth.

Marth sat there with the sleeping Captain Falcon in his lap. "Okay..."

---Even LATER that night---

The camp ground was nice and quiet. Ness awoke, however, when we saw Peach's feet. "Ew, so that was the smell..." He sat up and saw Peach walking somewhere, so being the noisey little kid he was, he followed her.

Off in the back, Falco muttered in his sleep, "No...Sam...?"

Peach walked down a set of stairs and over to a fountain. She picked up a mug and filled it with water. Ness followed her and began to slowly walk down the stairs. Peach turned to the boy, holding the cup. "Will you look into the mirror?" She asked.

"What will I see?" Ness asked, walking down.

"Even the wisest can not tell." She lifted the jar and began to pour the water out, but as it was pouring, it turned into Skittles. "Things that were..." Ness got closer. "Things that are..." She poured more Skittles in. "And some things..." Ness arrived at the bottom of the stairs and began walking to the mirror. "That have not yet come to pass."

"Skittles...Taste the Rainbow..." Said the voice of a little girl.

"HEY! That's not the logo anymore." A man yelled. "It's, Believe the Rainbow, Taste the Rainbow!"

"Are you saying I'm not good enough?!" Yelled the girl.

"Yes!" The man replied. "Yes I am! You're no- OOF!" The man was tackled as the sounds of a fight were heard from the mysterious voices.

**CRASH!**

**SMASH!**

**BOOM!**

"Ba-da-da-da-da! I'm lovin' it!" Came a third voice.

"HEY! Who's that!?"

"GET HIM!"

Peach and Ness stared into the sky, wondering who, what, where, and how these people were having their fight. Ness shrugged it off and walked up to the mirror and looked. It showed Link, then Luigi and Falco, then Dr. Mario. Then it showed the Shire burning and enslaved hobbits. "GASP!" When Ness as he watch the part of the book that will never been shown.

Then came the image of Master Hand. "My ring!" Master Hand said, reaching up towards Ness. "My ring! My ring! My ring!"

"Daddy!" Ness heard the Ring say.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ness pulled the Ring away from the mirror and was sent flying backwards. "Ouchy..." He muttered.

"I know what it is you saw..." Peach said. "It is what will come to pass if you should fail."

Ness stood up and looked around. "Yeah...I don't wanna fail...So..." He took the ring off his neck and placed it in his hand. "If you desire it, I will give you the one ring."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" Yelled the Ring.

Peach stared in shock. "You...offer it to me freely?" She asked, walking towards Ness. The hobbit gluped and waited. Peach rose her arms to the sky and began to glow green and black. "In place of a dark lord you shall have a QUEEN! NOT DARK, BUT BEAUTIFUL AS THE MORN! TERRIBLE AS THE SEA! STRONGER THEN THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE EARTH!"

"Eep!" Ness crawled into a little ball and hid under a tree.

"ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!" Peach laughed evily, then slowly returned to normal. "So, will you give me the ring?" She asked.

Ness stuck his head up. "No way Foundations of the Earth girl!"

Peach looked shock. "I have past the test...I shall diminish...and go into the West...and remain Galadriel..." She let out a long sigh. "Damn it..."

To Be Continued...

A/N: Did ya like it? It took me till 4 AM to do it! Hehe.

Bowser: I say, did you all miss me?

No Bowser. We didn't...

Bowser: NOOooOoOooOooOO!

Ness: I did. -Hugs Bowser-

Bowser: -stares at Ness- Who are you?


	9. The Breaking of the Fellowship! NOEZ!

Disclaimer: I do not own SSBM...Or Lord of the Ringu. RINGU! 

A/N: Sorry about the delay, I haven't had much time for writing. Also, if any of you have read my other stories, you hear them mention 'Peach's Magic cell phone.' Right? Well in this chapter, you find out where it came from!

**_Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style!)  
The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling  
Chapter IX: The Breaking of the Fellowship?! NOEZ!_**

--Isengard---

Mewtwo was standing in his tower with some giant Orc thing. The floating kitty was poking him in the arm. "Do you know how the Orcs first came to be?"

"NO!" Said Mr. Orc.

"They were elves once. But I turned them ugly."

"OH!"

"And now I've made them even uglier. My fighting Uruk-Hai!"

"YES!" Cheered Uruk-Hai Leader named Lurtz.

"And who's your daddy?"

"SARUMAN!"

---Deeper Places of Isengard---

Mewtwo was watching over the Orcas who were getting the Uruk-Hari's ready for battle. The yelling of the Uruks was so loud that the very sensitive ears of the pokemon were now bleeding. "MY EARS! THEY BLEED!"

"HAHA!" Laughed Lurtz only to receive a slap from Mewtwo.

"DO NOT MAKE FUN OF MY GENETIC DISABLITY!" Mewtwo paused, took in a breath and began to yell over the screaming. "YOU DO NOT KNOW PAIN, YOU DO NOT KNOW FEAR, YOU WILL TASTE MAN FLESH!"

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!" Cheered the hoards of Uruk-Hai's.

Mewtwo turned to Lurtz. "One of the Halflings holds something very dear and near to me. Bring them back, alive."

"Awwwwwww..." Moaned Lurtz. But as the cat in white was leaving, he turned and pat the Uruk-Hai on the back and said,

"Kill the others."

---Lothlórien---

Peach is riding down the river in a swan boat, looking very elf like...if she wasn't talking on her magic cell phone. "So, y'know, I was all, 'Instead of a Dark Lord, You'd have a queen' and he was all, 'Help me, I'm lost and confused without Gandalf!' And I was all-" She stops to see that the camera was on her. "Listen Betty, I'm gonna haveta call ya back, cell phones aren't aloud in Middle Earth times."

---Flashback 1---

The Fellowship are being cloaked in Elven Robes by Sheik, Young Link and six other elves that have no names. "Never before have we cloaked strangers in our own garments." Said Sheik. "May these robes protect you from unfriendly eyes."

"You guys are sooooo lucky." Added Young Link.

---End Flashback 1---

Luigi and Falco are sitting in a boat, playing some version of Pong. Captain Falcon, joined the two of them as Ness, Dr. Mario and Popo each ran to a boat. Marth was no where to be seen and Link was busy packing up the food. "Guys! Look!" Link said, holding up a piece of bread as Luigi and Falco look up. "It's Lambas Bread!" The Elf took a bite and smiled. "One small bite can fill the tummy of a grown man!" He placed the Lambas bread down, gave a thumbs up as the words, 'Lambas Bread! Link Approved! Available at any Elf Food Market!' scrolled across the screen.

"Really..." Falco said dully.

"Wow..." Added Luigi.

Link went back to packing the food while Falco asked, "So how many did you have already?"

"Hmm..about four..."

---Off in the woods---

SLAP!

"OUCHY!" Marth yelled, holding his now read check.

"You!" Said Peach, pointing her finger in Marth's face. "You better not be getting frisky with my granddaughter!"

Marth backed away in fear of the crazy princess. "OMFG LIEZZZZ! I don't know what you're talking about, Miss Dark Lord." Peach gasped as Marth continued. "I would have her sail away with the rest of her kin, anyway."

Peach paused for a second to let this sink in. "........Oh......Okay then." Marth left Peach and hoped in Ness's and Dr. Mario's boat. The Fellowship waved goodbye to the elves and began to sail towards the great river that has a name but I forgot was it was. Something with a 'A'.

---Flashback 2---

"And you, Legolas, I give you this bow." Peach said, handing Link a bow. "See? It has my face on it!" She pointed to the face on the top of the bow, which was most definitely her.

"Wow!" Said Link in awe. "Thanks Aunty Peach!"

---End Flashback 2---

"Thats a great bow..." Link muttered to himself, going back to day dreaming.

---Flashback 3---

Luigi and Falco were playing with daggers. "Cool!" They both cheered in unison, both stabbing each other in the chest.

"Yes, very cool. Use them wisely." Peach said with a smile, then walked over to Dr. Mario. "And for you, I give you real elven rope." She handed the rope down to Dr. Mario and held up a picture of Link giving the thumbs up as the words: 'Real Elven Rope! Link Approved! Available at any Elven Convenience Store!' rolled across the screen.

"Rope? That's it?!" Dr. Mario yelled in shock. "I don't get a nice dagger!?"

"Take it or leave it, fatty." There was a pause before Dr. Mario reached up and took the rope from Peach, muttering not nice words at the princess.

---End Flashback 3---

"Ouchy..." Luigi said, trying to pull Falco's dagger out of his chest. "It hurts..." Falco just rolled his eyes and sighed before they both passed out for lack of blood.

---Flashback 4---

Peach walked over to Popo. "And what gift would a Dwarf ask of the Elves?" She asked.

The Ice Climber looked at the ground and began to shuffle his feet. "No-Nothing! Just to look upon that which is fairest one last time." He said with a blush.

"I know, I'm so sexy." Peach said, flipping her hair. "Sah-WEET!"

"Well..." Popo spoke up again. "There is one thing...and why I'm about to ask it is beyond me..."

---End Flashback 4---

The Fellowship is almost at the boarders of Lothlórien when Ness turned and saw Peach standing on the river bank and his mind returned to the only flashback shown in the movies.

---Flashback 5---

"And to you, Frodo Baggins, I give our most beloved star." Ness stared at Peach in confusion as she handed him a picture frame with her picture in it. "May it be a light for you, when all other lights go out."

Ness looked it over for a second then asked, "And how is a picture gonna do that?" Peach sighed and pressed a little button on the frame.

"Oooooh, did I win?" Said the Picture as it lit up and began to play the Mario Brothers Theme.

"Oh...I see now..."

---End Flashback 5---

So, at long last, the Fellowship has left Lothlórien and are now sailing down the Great River. Luigi and Falco were riding with Captain Falcon, Dr. Mario and Ness were with Marth, and Link and Popo were together, so lets start with those two. Popo sighed and stared into space. "I have looked upon that which is fairest. Hence forth I shall call nothing fair unless it is her gift to me."

Link sighed. "Why do you always get your lines right?"

"I have a bunch of dirt in my pocket..."

"AAAAA- Erm, I mean, And what was her gift to you?"

"I asked for one hair of her golden head..." Popo sighed again. "She gave me three..."

"Thats gross..."

"Damn my luck..." Captain Falcon muttered, rowing their boat along. "I shouldn't have slept in. I missed that gift giving thingy!"

Luigi patted Captain Falcon on the back. "It's alright. I'll let you use my dagger once Falco takes it out of his chest."

"You didn't sleep in, idiot." Falco said. "I saw you...and the elf girl...under the tree...in the back...away from everyone..."

Captain Falcon whacked Falco on the head and KOed him in a second. "I don't know what he was talking about!"

"Silly, Silly Merry." Luigi said, shaking his head and sighing.

---The next day---

"HEY EVERYONE!" Link yelled from behind the rest of the Fellowship. The group turned and look at Link and Popo's boat. "Watch my special trick!" He lifted his paddle and began to twirl it and do weird hand movements. While Link tried to show off, Popo leaned just a little to the left and...

"Oopsy." Popo said with a smirk as Link gave a look of pure horror and the boat capsized and the Fellowship pointed and laughed.

Later on that night, the Fellowship members were sitting around a camp fire while Popo and Link dryed off. "Stupid Dwarf..." Muttered Link and only getting a series of giggles for a answer.

Ness walked over to his sleeping spot for the night and tried to rest, but he heard Marth and Captain Falcon talking. "Tssk. I would hoped we would have lost him on the river, but I guess he's too good a waterman..." Marth whispered as he watched a log float up to the other side of the river bank and stop.

"Its just a log..." Captain Falcon said. "What me to go kill it?"

"Nah."

"Hey, I have a question. Why don't we make for the Gap of Rohan? I keep telling you they have the best offers on clothes but you just don't listen!"

"Because..." Marth said, taking the 'Because...' approach.

"Because why? You trusted the Elves so quickly..." Captain Falcon asked.

"BECAUSE I HATE HUMANS!!!" Marth yelled, running off to go cry.

---The Next Day Again---

Once again, the Fellowship is sailing down the Great River, but now they are passing two giant statues. "Look Frodo!" Marth said, pointing at the statues. "Its the two giant statues that look like they belong in Star Wars."

"The Argonath?" Ness and Dr. Mario asked in unison.

"Right, what did I say?" So the three boats dock on the right side of the river in Amon Hen. Popo and Dr. Mario get a fire going while Luigi and Falco were both lying down in the back, Ness wandered off, again and Captain Falcon went out to look for fire wood. "Okay everyone! At first light tomorrow, we cross the river and continue on the other side."

"Are you crazy?!" Popo yelled, making Dr. Mario almost fall into the fire. "That will lead us to Emyn Muil! A very evil bunch of rocks! And then we've got a swamp that smells almost as bad as you to cross!"

"Uh-huh, and that is our path. So I suggest you rest, Master Dwarf." Marth said with a smirk.

"We can not linger here!" Link said, poking Marth. "I see Orcs..."

"Really? Oh...we better move then. Where is Frodo?" Marth looked around and saw no sign of the little hobbit. And then he saw Captain Falcon's shield. "...Shit..."

---Deeper in Amon Hen---

Ness was walking through the forest and looking at the giant head that had fallen to the ground. "Oooh, look at that Ringy!" He said, pointing at the head.

'It's pretty." Replied the Ring.

"Hullo Frodo."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- Oh it's you Borry." The little Hobbit backed away from Captain Falcon after the guy almost scared him to death.

Captain Falcon walked up to Ness. "You shouldn't wander off."

"I have a friend with me..." Ness said, holding the ring.

"Speaking of Friend..." He threw the logs he was holding to the ground and jumped on top of Ness. "GIVE ME THE RING! I COMAND IT OF YOU!"

"AAAAAH! NO!" Ness yelled, trying to escape the grasp of Captain Falcon. Soon he was driven to...PUT THE RING ON! Ness disappeared and somehow Captain Falcon lost his grip on the boy.

"I SEE WHAT YOUR GONNA DO! YOU'LL BETRAY US ALL! YOUR NOTHING BUT A LITTLE PEICE OF FISH POOP!" Yelled Captain Falcon, who promptly received a punch to the jaw by the invisible Ness. "...Ow..."

Ness quickly ran away and up some stairs, in goring Captain Falcon's yelling saying he's sorry. Ness quickly ran and hid behind what he thought was a stone bird or something, thinking he was safe. Suddenly, the world Ness was in began to show Mordor and...Master Hand! "Mawhahahaa!" Laughed the evil hand. "I see you!"

"How?!" Ness yelled. "You have no eyes!"

"HEY! Don't disrespect my dad!" Said the Ring.

The Hobbit began to get scared, so he pulled the ring off and fell off the monument he was on and landed with a thud. "Ow...My body feels broken..."

('Ness Getting Hurt' Scoreboard: 6)

"Frodo?"

Ness looked up to see Marth. "Hey smelly ranger. The Ring has taken over Boromir's mind, would you be a dear and do something about it?"

Marth began to run to Ness. "Where is the Ring?!" He asked in a angry tone, causing the little hobbit to get up and run.

"Stay away! WAAAAAAH!" He yelled, running.

Marth caught up to Ness and stared at him in shock. "Frodo! What da hell you doing? I swore on my life I'd protect you."

"Can you protect me from..." Ness paused as dramatic music boomed in the background. "YOURSELF?!" He held the Ring out in his hand and asked, "Would you destroy him?"

"WHAT?! Oh forget you Frodo!" Said Mr. Ring. The Ring began to call out to Marth. "Aragorn...Aragorn..." Marth began to get closer to the Ring and reach for it. "Elessar..."

"What?! Elessar?!" Marth yelled, causing Ness to jump, as he didn't hear the Ring. "No one calls me Elessar..." Marth folded Ness's hand around the Ring. "I would have gone with you, into the very fiery pits of Mordor."

"I know..." Ness said, hugging Marth. "I luv you."

"Get off and look at your sword." Marth commanded. Ness took out his sword and gasped. It was glowing blue! Frodo! RUN! RUN! RUN DAMN IT, RUN!" Ness gasped and quickly ran off as Marth withdrew his sword and turned to face the hoard of Uruk-Hai's. "Hello Boys." He greeted, doing that cool sword move that you saw Aragorn do if you saw the movie.

"Mawhahahaha!" Laughed Lurtz. "KILL HIM!"

The Uruk-Hai's charged at Marth, but the first few were quickly killed by a few of Marth's cool sword moves. After taking out about five, he turned and ran up the stairs of the monument and began to fight the few Uruk-Hai's that stupidly followed him. He stabbed the first through it's chest and kicked the dead body down the stairs, knocking the other Uruks off. Once on top, he chopped the arm off of a Uruk-Hai following him, then killed in with what a move that look like his Shield Breaker. Marth turned around and jumped the monument and landed on top of two Uruk-Hai's, knocking them out. Popo and Link quickly ran up, Popo throwing a mini ax and Link shooting a Uruk-Hai.

Marth stood up and brushed the dirt off his armor. "What took you?"

"The little dwarf had to stop and brush his teeth." Link said, rolling his eyes.

Meanwhile, Ness was quickly dashing through the wood trying to escape the hoards of Uruk-Hai's chasing him. "Why meeeee?!" He whined as he hid behind a tree.

"Bsst! Frodo!" Ness turned to see Luigi and Falco hiding under a dead tree. "Hide here!" Falco said, but Ness just shook his head no. "What?!"

"He's leaving!!" Luigi exclaimed.

"Yes and I think our lines were mixed up for that one seen..." Falco paused for a second then got an idea. "Let's be hero's, okay?" Luigi nodded with a smile and the two of them got out of their hiding spot and began to insult the Uruk-Hai's. Ness took this chance to run a different direction from which Luigi and Falco were running. The two were running and were almost home free but then they ran into...a corner. "Oh no!"

"Shit!" Luigi jumped into Falco's arms. "Hold me!"

The Uruk-Hai's began to close in on the two and it looked very grim but then... "AYAYAYA!" Yelled Captain Falcon jumped out from the bushes and killed the first Uruk-Hai he saw. "Quickly, run like the wind my little hobbits!" He commanded.

Falco and Luigi looked at each other, then back at Captain Falcon, who was killing Uruk-Hai after Uruk-Hai, and tripping over his own feet in the process. "NO!" They both yelled in unison. They picked up rocks and began tossing them at the Uruk-Hai's to try and help Captain Falcon.

---Back up the hill---

Marth, Popo and Link were chasing the Uruk-Hai's and killing them as they went along. Popo swung his ax/mallet and killed a giant Uruk-Hai, Marth was swing his sword around and chopping anything near him to bits, and Link was shooting Uruk-Hai after Uruk-Hai after Uruk-Hai, not slowing down. "Ha! I am sooooo cool." Link said with a smirk as he killed his 15th Uruk.

"Yah, Yah, Yah..." Popo said, rolling his eyes. He jumped up and whacked a Uruk-Hai on the head so hard that he broke it's neck and it fell to the ground.

Off in the background, the sound of a horn was heard. Link and Popo turned in the direction of where it was coming from. "The Horn of Gondor!" Link stated.

Marth pulled his sword of a dead Uruk-Hai he had just stabbed and stared in horror. "Boromir! SHIT!"

The three of them quickly began to run in the direction of where the horn was heard from. "Uh-oh!" Peach's voice was heard. "Will the three of them reach Captain Falcon in time? Will Ness really leave? Will I ever get a bigger part? Find out next time!"

To Be Continued...

A/N: Chapter 9 is done!!!!

Bowser: Does that mean...it ends next chapter?!

Entire Cast: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


	10. Marth should open up a kissing booth

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings, Super Smash Brothers....or anything. 

A/N: This is it! The last chapter of The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling. It's gonna break my heart. WAAAAAAAH! Oh well, after a little break to work on my .hack story and my scarlet present story, I'll be back!

**_Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style!)  
The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling  
Chapter X: Marth should open a kissing booth._**

"When we last left our heroes, they were trying to get to Captain Falcon before the big bad Uruk-Hai Leader kills him!" Came the voice of Peach. "Even though we all know what will really happen..."

---Amon Hen---

Captain Falcon, Luigi and Falco were still fighting and killing off the Uruk-Hai's that came running at them. Luigi and Falco would double team one at a time while Captain Falcon would be tripping over his own feet and stab a few if he was lucky. "I thought I told you two to run!" He said, stabbing a Uruk-Hai in the chest and glaring at Luigi and Falco.

"Well, yeah..." Luigi replied, trailing off.

"We wanna help you." Falco said in a confused way.

"Oh. Okay." Captain Falcon went back to killing the Uruk-Hai's when a arrow is shot right into his chest. "GAAAAAAAAASP!" Luigi and Falco turn and look Captain Falcon.

Luigi began to panic. "AAAAAAH! MERRY! LOOKIE! HE GOT SHOT!"

"SHIT!" Falco yelled.

Captain Falcon fell to the ground in pain and dropped his sword. "Damn it, I'm hit..." He was about to fall down dead, but he remembered something. "I can't die here... If I do then...then..." He picked up his sword and stabbed the closest Uruk-Hai in the chest. "THEN I'LL NEVER GET MY WALLET BACK!"

"Grrr..." Growled Lurtz as he began to walk down the hill, getting another arrow ready.

"Yeah! That the reason we like you!" Luigi cheered, lifting his dagger in the air and the two hobbits once again began to throw stones at and stab Uruk-Hai's.

"OOF!" Captain Falcon yelled again after getting hit with the second arrow. Falco and Luigi stopped once again and stared.

"Uh-oh..."

"Indeed..."

"DON'T GIVE UP YET!" They both yelled in unison. Captain Falcon glared at them, still wondering why they haven't run. So once again he picked up his sword and began to fight, killing another Uruk-Hai.

Lurtz snapped his fingers. "WHY WON'T YOU DIE!" He yelled, getting out a third arrow. The Uruk-Hai captain fired it at Captain Falcon and it hit it's mark dead on.

"MY HEART!" Captain Falcon yelled, falling to the ground.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!" Both Hobbits yelled in unison. They turned towards the Uruk-Hai's and raised their daggers. "DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" They charged at them, but were simply picked up and whisked away.

"HELP! HELP!" Falco yelled, flapping his wings.

"Borry! Don't leave us!" Luigi replied.

"Your fault...for " Captain Falcon said, breathing very heavy. He watched as all the Uruk-Hai's ran pass him, pointing and laughing. Soon it was just him...and Lurtz...

Lurtz readied his crossbow and pointed it at Captain Falcon. "Now you shall die!" He said, standing there all evil like and glaring at Captain Falcon.

"Fine..." Captain Falcon muttered.

"..." Lurtz did nothing.

"..." Captain Falcon said nothing.

"..." Lurtz did nothing.

"..." Captain Falcon said nothing.

"..." Lurtz did nothing.

"So... how's the wife?" Asked Captain Falcon.

"Alright." Replied Lurtz.

"Got any little Uruk's running around the house?"

"One."

"I'll have to come visit again someday."

"Sure. We'll go see a baseball game or...something."

"..." Captain Falcon said nothing.

"..." Lurtz did nothing.

Captain Falcon coughed. "So, uh, where is Marth?"

As if on cue, Marth burst out from the bushes and tackled Lurtz to the ground. The two of them had a little sword fight, neither one proving to be strong. Lurtz then threw a shield at Marth, which pinned him a tree by the neck. Lurtz swung his sword, Marth ducked and the sword missed. So basically, you know, Lurtz was all angry now so he tried to stab Marth, but the prince had a dagger on him, so he stabbed the Uruk-Hai in the leg, causing him to fall back. Marth took this time to stand up, do his taunt and stab Lurtz in the chest. "Ha-Ha!" Marth laughed. Lurtz began to pull the sword deeper into his body.

"You can't hurt me, smelly ranger!" Lurtz said, before Marth withdrew his sword and chopped off his head.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Owned." Marth dashed over to Captain Falcon, who was now magically leaning against a tree. "How did you get here?"

Captain Falcon shrugged before going into his whole, 'I'm dying', speech. "They took the babies!" Captain Falcon said, shaking violently. "Frodo, where is he?"

"I let him go..." Marth said calmly.

"Then you did what I could not." He gave Marth a small smile. "I'm dying..."

"Yeah, I kinda knew that..."

"And you wanna know what's sad?" He asked between deep breaths. Marth shook his head no, but Captain Falcon said it anyway. "The age of men is over... the white city will fall... sad, right? WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

Marth covered his ears and waited for his wail to stop. Once it had, he said, "Okay, listen, I don't know what strength is left in my blood, but I won't let that city of yours fall, kay?" Captain Falcon smiled and Marth continued. "Or our people fail."

"Our people?" Captain Falcon said, getting as happy as a dying man could. "Our people! Yes! Kiss me goodbye My Brother... My Captain... My King!"

"Um...Okay...But on the forehead only." Marth leaned down and kissed Captain Falcon on his head as Link ran up from the forest to join them.

Link looked on with a sad face. "Captain Falcon is getting a kiss?! FROM MARTH!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

"And now we know the real reason Boromir dies." Popo added as he came out of the forest.

After he finished kissing Captain Falcon, Marth stood up and look over to the other two. "They will look for his coming from the white tower... but he will not return."

"DO YOU THINK I CARE?!" Yelled Link, jumping on top of Marth. "YOU JUST KISSED CAPTAIN FALCON! I WANT A KISS!"

"Aaaaaah! Get away from meeeeeeee!" Marth yelled as he ran off into the forest followed by Link and Popo, both wanting kisses from one of the most 'hottest' characters.

---Down by the Beach---

Ness stood there with the Ring in his palm, staring at the three boats, thinking of the wise words that Bowser had once told him before, when he was still alive in Moria...

---Flashback---

Bowser threw down his pipe and turned around to scream in Ness's face. "WHAT! WHAT! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT! DON'T YOU HAVE OTHER PEOPLE TO BOTHER!!!"

---End Flashback---

"Frodo? Are we going somewhere?" Ring asked.

Ness nodded to the Ring. "We're going to Mordor..."

"Erm, why don't we just stay here? I'm sure those nice monkey like men will take us to daddy..." Ness didn't answer. "It will be, um, faster..."

Ness closed his hand and stuck the ring in his shirt. He then hoped in one of the boats, picked up a paddle and began to row away. "I hope no one sees me..."

"MISTER FRODO!"

"Damn it..." Ness turned back towards shore and saw Dr. Mario standing on the river bank. "Go back Sam! I gotta do this alone, alright? I don't need you coming with me!"

Dr. Mario began to waddle out into the water. "If you don't take me, I'll drown myself!" Ness showed no signs of caring, so Dr. Mario continued to go out father into the water and soon he disappeared under the murky river water.

Ness thought about going back to save the fat hobbit. "Hmm...I should save him...cause Paula will be mad if I don't..." So Ness rowed the boat back to where Dr. Mario was, reached his hand in and pulled the hobbit into the boat with him.

"Listen, Frodo, I made a promise. You hear that? A promise!" Dr. Mario rambled on. "If I were to leave you, Bowser would...would...DO VERY NOT NICE THINGS TO MEEEEEEEE!" He broke down crying as Ness rowed to the other side of the boat, stopping at times to pat him on the back.

---A little later on---

Captain Falcon's body is shown going down a waterfall as Marth puts on Captain Falcon's gauntlets. Link pushed another boat into the water. "Hurry! The foolish hobbits have reached the eastern shore. We can still catch them if we hurry!" He said, trying to get Popo and Marth into the boat. When he saw the look on Marth's face, he figured that he wouldn't be going along with the midgets. "You mean not to follow them..."

"Frodo and Sam's fate is no longer in our hands." Marth said.

"So it has all been in vain?" Popo asked, walking up to the two with his mallet/ax. "The Fellowship has failed..."

Marth shook his head no. "Nope. Not if we remain true to each other. The three of us are the coolest Lord of the Ring's characters ever! And," He placed his hands on Link's shoulders. "The two of use are like, the coolest Super Smash Brothers characters. So, to keep our coolness, we will not abandon Merry and Peepee to torment and death. Leave all that you can behind, cause we're gonna be running a lot next chapter." He placed his knife back in it's hoister and turned to leave. "Let's hunt some Orc."

Popo looked over at Link. "Do you think that this adventure would make people like me better?" He asked before smirking at Link and running after Marth, followed by Link.

---Emyn Muil---

Ness and Dr. Mario reached the top of a cliff and looked over the tons of rocks that awaited them. "Geez, how did we get here so fast?" Asked Ness, who just got a shrug for a reply.

"Look at that..." Dr. Mario said, pointing at Mordor. "I guess that's where we're gonna go..."

"I hope the others find a safer route..."

"Strider will look after them."

Ness nodded. "You know what?" He said, turning towards Dr. Mario. "I'm sorta glad you're with me."

"And so, the two of them began to walk down the hill as the screen fades to black, making all of you go, 'OMFG DAT IS NO ENDING!'" Said Peach. "And thus, Ness and Dr. Mario head towards Mordor, Marth, Link and Popo search for Luigi and Falco, Bowser is getting new white robes and Captain Falcon is dead. The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling, has ended."

To Be Continued...

A/N: And there you have it! The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling is finished. What's next you ask? Too Many Towers to be Two!

**Credits for-  
The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling:**

_May it be,  
an evening star.  
Shines down upon you._

**Ness: Frodo  
Dr. Mario: Sam  
Falco: Merry  
Luigi: Pippin**

_May it be,  
when darkness falls,  
Your heart will be true._

**Bowser: Gandalf  
Marth:Aragorn  
Link: Legolas  
Popo: Gimli**

_You walk, a lonley road  
Oh, how far are you from  
Home_

**Captain Falcon: Boromir  
Zelda: Arwen  
Fox: Elrond  
Peach: Galadrieal**

_Mornië utúlië  
Believe and you will  
Find your way_

**Sheik: Celeborn  
Young Link: Haldir  
Pikachu/Pichu: Dildo  
Mewtwo: Saruman**

_Mornië alantië  
A promise lives  
within you now_

**?????: Gollum  
Master Hand: Saruon  
Orcs: Wireframes  
Goblins: Polygons**

_May it be,  
the shadow's call  
Will fly away_

**Random Monsters: Nana (Nana: !?!?!)  
Ringwraiths: Themselfs  
One Ring: Himself**

_May it be,  
your journey on  
To the light of day._

**Humans: Themselfs  
Elves: Themselfs  
Dwarves: Themselfs**

_When night is over come  
You may rise,  
to find the sun.  
Mornië utúlië  
Believe and you will  
Find your way.  
Mornië alantië  
A promise lives  
within you now.  
A promise lives  
within you now._


	11. Mewtwo's evil plot

Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers or Lord of the Rings. 

A/N: Hello everyone who reads this! You guys got lucky! I got the long Return of the King DVD for Christmas and now I wanna hurry up and write chapter one of Return of the Jedi who once was a King. The part with Gandalf and Saruman should be funny. Falco will be pissed though. If you read the book, you know why. But first, I gotta get through this horrible chapter in the story... Whooo... Sorry, the first chapter will be... um... different... Nothing I can do about it. It won't be that good.

**_Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style!)  
Too Many Towers to be Two  
Chapter XI- Mewtwo's evil plot_**

"Welcome back all you amazingly amazing people!" Peach announced. "Since I am Peach, the lord and master, I will be starting off the second installment of Lord of the Rings: SSBM Style! Cheer with me!"

**_The Lord of the Rings_**

_"You can not pass!"_

_"Wait, he was SERIOUS?!"_

_"Well, ya, I can pass..."_

_"I am the servant to the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor! Dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udûn!"_

_"Oooooh Mr. Tough Guy now?"_

_---Moria---_

_Bowser gave a snarl. "Go back to the shadow."_

_"NO!"_

_"YOOOOOOOOOOOU! SHAAAAAAAALL NOOOOOOOOOOOT! PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!" Bowser screamed, slamming his staff into the stone, causing the rock around the Balrog to break._

_"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Balrog yelled, falling into the darkness. "NOTICE AS I HAVE WINGS, BUT CAN NOT FLY!!!"_

_Bowser smirked as he watched the Balrog fall into the darkness. He turned around and lifted his arms. "I AM GANDALF, HEAR ME ROAR!!" But then the bullwhip flew back up and grabbed Bowser by the leg. "ARGH!" He fell to the ground as was dragged over to the edge of the bridge._

_"GANDALF!" Yelled the Fellowship. Marth began to run over to him but was stopped by Goblins shooting arrows._

_"GANDY!" Ness stared in shock and horror._

_Bowser looked towards the Fellowship with sad eyes. "Fly, you fools!" So he lets go and falls into the darkness._

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-" Ness's scream trailed off as Bowser fell into the darkness after the Balrog._

_The Wizard looked around and saw his sword falling along side him, so he reached over and grabbed it. Then, using his magic, he pushed himself down onto the Balrog and began to stab the flame beast. "Take this!" Bowser yelled, stabbing the rock. "And this! And This! And did you know we've been falling for like...almost 55 days?"_

_"Really?" Answered the Balrog. "I had no clue. Argh! Stop stabbing meeeee!"_

_So the two of them fell deeper and deeper into the pits of Moria until the Balrog went smashing into a lake of water._

---Emyn Muil---

"GANDY!" Ness screamed, jumping up out of his sleep.

"What is it now Mr. Frodo!?" Yelled Dr. Mario, who had just been woken out of his slumber. "I was having such a nice dream too..."

Ness sighed and leaned his head back down. "It was just a dream, I guess..."

Maybe about an hour later, Dr. Mario and Ness are walking along the rock covered mountain range. Dr. Mario look up towards the sky and sighed. "Look at that. It's Mordor... I don't want to see any more of it! But it's just the place we're heading too. AND WE CAN'T GET ANY CLOSER!"

"Shut up and give me food..."

**_Too Many Towers to be Two_**

So Ness and Dr. Mario are still in Emyn Muil, walking...and walking...and walking...not much I can say, unless we want to go into detail descriptions of they way they lift their feet. After a few hours of walking, the duo came to a clearing in the rocks. "These rocks look familiar..." Dr. Mario said, looking around.

Ness let out a long sigh. "We've been here before! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WE'RE LOST AND CONFUSED WITHOUT GANDALF!"

"Do you smell something?"

The hobbit sniffed the air. "It's a Bog." He paused for a second, as if he heard some unknown sound. "We're no alone..." Ness began to jump up and down looking to his left and his right.

"Paranoid hobbit..."

"I AM NOT!" Ness yelled, causing some rocks to roll down the hill. In a panic, he placed his fingers to his head and yelled, "PK THUNDER!" The PSI attack flew over and blew the rocks to rubble.

Dr. Mario raised and eyebrow. "Wow, Frodo has PK thunder?"

"Yes..." Ness said, still a little shaky. After he calmed down, he placed his hands on his hips. "Yes I do."

Later on that night, Ness and Dr. Mario were curled up together in a ball sleeping under the moon light. However, as they slept, a figure began to creep down the rocks. "They stole it from us. They stoooooooooooole it." Mutter Gollum as he crawled down the cliff. "And since we are pissed at this, WE SHALL TAKE IT BACK!"

"NEVER!" Ness and Dr. Mario screamed, reaching up and grabbing Gollum by the arms. After a little chase seen, Gollum jumped up onto Dr. Mario and bit into his next. The two fell backwards onto the ground and Ness took out sting and placed it to Gollum's throat. "This is sting! You've seen it before, haven't you Yosh- erm, Gollum."

"Gaspes?!" Said Gollum, who we know can see it Yoshi.

"Let him go, or I'll poke you with this sword!"

"Eep..." Yoshi whimpered, letting go of Dr. Mario. "You made us sad! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

---The next day---

Once again, Dr. Mario and Ness are walking through the maze of stone. Oh! But this time, they have a pet with them. "IT BURNSSS!" Yelled Yoshi, who was flopping around on the ground, trying to get the 'Real Elven Rope! Link Approved! Available at any Elven Convenience Store!' off his neck. "IT BURNSSSSS! IT FREEZESSSS!"

"Argh! SHUT UP!" Yelled Dr. Mario, who pulled the rope some more, pulling Yoshi back to the ground.

"Sam! Wait!" Ness said, looking at Yoshi.

Yoshi sat up on his knees and gave big puppy dog eyes. "Pity us! PITY US!"

"He's so cute! Um, In an...ugly way..." Ness turned to Dr. Mario. "Can we keep him!? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?!"

Dr. Mario looked at the rope already in his hand and sighed. "That ring is driving you mad!"

"I AM NOT!" Screamed the Ring. "STOP BLAMING EVERYTHING ON ME!"

"I have an amazing idea!" Ness said, running over to Yoshi. He bent down and asked, "Have you ever been to Mordor?"

"Yes, we have." Replied Yoshi.

"If I take that burning, yet at the same time freezing, Real Elven Rope, which is Link approved, off you, will you lead us there?"

Yoshi put his hand to his chin and thought for a second. Mordor was evil. Burning and Freezing Elvan Rope was evil. The precious was good. The little midget had that one good thing in his life. "Okay, we will."

"Good boy!" Ness patted Yoshi on the head and removed the rope. Yoshi cheered and dashed off, followed by Ness and Dr. Mario.

---Somewhere in Middle-Earth---

The Uruk-Hai's from last chapter are running across the plains with Luigi and Falco on their backs. The leader, Uglúk, lifted his fist and paused for a second. "STOP!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" Yelled the Uruk-Hai's.

"I smell something."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

"Man-flesh!"

Luigi let out a low gasp. "Aragorn!" The Uruk-Hai's began marching again, so Luigi took this time to bite the elvan leaf brooch off his cloak and spat it out of his mouth. "Ahh, my neck feels so much better now..."

---Somewhere else in Middle-Earth---

Marth was lying on the ground with his head on a rock. "Their pace has quickened."

"They smelt you!" Said Link.

The ranger stood up. "I don't smell THAT bad...do I?" Link rolled his eyes and Marth just shrugged. He turned and ran off, followed by Link.

"Come Gimli!"

Popo began to limp up the hill. "My leg... My heart... My tummy... My vocal cords... SLOW DOWN YOU IDIOTS!" He screamed before chasing.

So the three of them run across the plains with Marth in the lead, Link in a close second and Popo waaaaaaaaaaay behind. After a few hours of running, Link and Marth come across Luigi's brooch. Marth bent down and picked it up. "'Tis a leaf."

"It must have been one of the hobbits!" Link said, looking at it closely.

"We can reach them if we hurry!" Marth put the brooch in his pocket and the two of them ran off, just as Popo rolled down the hill and slammed into a rock.

"Ow! My head!" He complained, standing up and chasing after the two quicker fellowship members. "Curse my short legs..."

---Rohan---

Marth and Link run up and stop at a big sign reading: 'WELCOME TO ROHAN!' "We have entered Rohan." Marth stated.

"Really? I would never have guessed..." Replied Link sarcastically.

"Wanna know something even more funny?"

"What?"

"We're gonna be in Rohan for another 11 Chapters."

"Damn..."

"So, um, would you be a dear and tell us what your elf-eye sees?"

Link ran over to a rock a few feet away and peered into the air. "The Uruks turn northeast... They are taking the hobbits to Isengard!"

"Mewtwo... COME! WE MUST HURRY!" He yelled, running after the Uruk-Hai, followed by Link.

"Wait for meeeeeee!" Popo yelled from off in the distance.

---Isengard (A/N: Alright, in the movie, these were all weird cuts so...just bare with me...)---

Mewtwo was standing in his chamber with the palantír. "WHO HAS THE POWER TO STAND AGAINST ISENGARD AND MORDOR?!?! NO ONE! FOR I AM THE BEST EVIL VILLIAN! I HAVE THE POWER!!! YOU CAN'T STAND AGAINST ME AND THE GIANT HAND!!! HAHAAHAHA!" Mewtwo floated outside and over looked his orcs.

"My lord, we're running out of trees..." Said one Orc. "We've used up all of the trees in the Ring of Or...Or...This tower."

The cat let out an evil laugh. "There is always... Fangorn..."

"Yes, My Kittyness." Orc man said, bowing.

---Deeper Places of Isengard---

Mewtwo floated into the deepest places of Isengard and was watching over the construction of weapons. "So, I'm gonna burn the world to the ground so industry will rule! I am seeing to the future! WHEELS! METAL! MORE WHEELS! SWORDS! SPIKES! IRON FISTS OF ORCS! AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-Cough-HAHAHAHAHA! Oh I have an evil plan."

---Mewtwo's Chamber---

Now, for some reason, Mewtwo is sitting in a chair with some ugly man standing in front of him. "Swear it!" Mewtwo yelled.

The man took out a knife and slit his hand open. "We shall serve Saruman!" Mewtwo let out an evil laugh and started clapping like a little kid.

---Later On---

Mewtwo is now surrounded by a bunch of ugly wild men. "The horseymen took you land and killed your friends!" Mewtwo lied.

"HORESYMEN!" Screamed the Wild men in anger.

"Go now! Go and poke them till they say ow! THEN LAUGH AT THEM! LAUGH, FOR THEY ARE IN PAIN! AND PAIN IS GOOD!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Cheered the Wild men as the ran off, enraged at the Horseymen. Mewtwo gave a smirk and began to float back to his tower.

---Random Village in Rohan---

_"It will begin in Rohan, my lord, for they are the weirdest of people. I will kill them all, for I am the evilest of evil. That rhymed! Yeah! I'm a mass-murderer and a poet!"_

The Wild men began to burn and destroy the village, killing everyone in sight. A little girl and boy ran up to their Mother, who put them on a horse. "Papa says Éothain can't drive a horse yet." The little girl said as her mom put her on the horse.

"Right now, I don't care. Listen, ride to Edoras and scream for help. Trust me, it works." Said the Mother, kissing her children goodbye.

"I don't wanna goooooo!" Cried the Little Girl, who wouldn't let go of the mom.

"Freda, don't worry... I've read the script."

"Alrighty then."

Éothain pulled back on the reins and the horse rode off and away from the burning village. "RIDE MY CHILDREN! RIDE LIKE THE WIND!!!"

_"Rohan, my lord...will fall..."_

To be continued...

A/N: Okay. 1st Chapter is finished, now the story should get better. Sorry about this eye-sore.


	12. Rohan, land of the horseymen

Disclaimer: Not. Mine. To. Own. Sad. Right? A/N: Welcome to Chapter 2. We are about to meet new characters! YEY!

**_Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style)  
Too Many Towers to be Two  
Chapter XII- Rohan, land of the horseymen_**

---Edoras---

"THEOWHATSHISNAME!" Yelled Samus as she burst into a room where Kirby and a dying man were resting. "Oh no! He's dying!"

"Yup..." Kirby replied, poking Theowhatshisname.

"This is bad..."

"Yup..."

---Golden Hall---

Kirby walked into the Golden Hall, followed by Samus. Both of them bowed on one knee and turned to a very very very very old looking Mario. "Théadon Dude!" Said Kirby.

"King Théadon." Samus corrected.

"Whatever. Your son is dying..."

"..." Old Mario said nothing.

"His team got killed by Orcs..."

"..." Old Mario said nothing.

"Who were from Saruman!"

"OMFG LIEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Kirby and Samus turned to see Ganondorf move up out of the shadows and towards Old Mario's throne. "54rum4n 1s g00d, n07 84d!"

Kirby covered his ears to block out the horrible version of l33t. "The Orcs were baring the white paw of Saruman." The puffball said, dropping a helmet to the ground, which had a white paw upon it.

Ganondorf looked shocked at the helmet, but turned away and back to Old Mario. "D00D, d0n'7 li3 t0 da k1n9. D0n'7 73ll M4r1o liez!"

"It is no lie!" Kirby yelled back.

"G0 4w4y j00 b4d m4n!"

Kirby looked at Ganondorf with a surprised face. "Bad man?"

A few seconds later, Kirby, who was now standing on a few boxes, slammed Ganondorf into a wall and glared in his face. "How long has it been since Saruman bought you?!"

"WTF J00 T4LK1NG 80U7?!" Ganondorf said in fear of the demonic puffball.

"And what was the prize? When all the men dead, you take your half of the treasure?" Samus, at that very moment, walked by in the distances. Gannondorf turned his gaze and looked upon the Bounty Hunter, who gave him the finger and ran off. Kirby then punched Ganondorf in the face. "Too long have you haunted my sister..." He paused for a second and thought about how in the world he got cast as the brother to a tall female woman, whereas he is a small puffball.

"84d m0v3 d00d. J00 1s 84n1sh3d! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!1!1111!"

"What?" Two guards then put their hands on Kirby and dragged him out of the Golden Hall, leaving Ganondorf to laugh in his chat-format.

---Plains of Rohan---

Marth, Link and Popo are still running across the plains. "We're gaining on them!" Yelled Marth from the lead as he and Link disappeared over the hills.

Popo, in the back, was jogging slowly and muttering to himself, "Keep breathing... that's the key... breathe..."

More running...

"They run as if the very whips of their masters were behind them!" Link added as he dashed across the plains. The trio continued to run, just as the sun was beginning to set...

---That Night---

The Uruk-Hai's throw Luigi and Falco the ground. "WE'RE TIRED!" The group yelled in unison.

"Grrr, Get a fire going..." Uglúk said.

"AND WE'RE HUNGRY TOO!" The Uruks turned and looked at the hobbits with drooling mouths. The two weakly wave their hands and began to crawl away from the hungry monsters.

"They are not for eating!"

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

"Uglúk has spoken!" The Uruk-Hai captain then chopped the head off of one Uruk-Hai close to him. The others all cheered and began to rip the poor dead guy to pieces.

"Pssssssssssssst! Peepee!"

"...Pippin...Stop calling me that, It's gotten old already!"

"Let's get out of here!"

Falco and Luigi began to crawl towards the woods, but were stopped by an Orc. "And where do you little hobbits think your going?" The Orc, Grishnákh, said as he placed his sword near Luigi's throat.

"Um..." Falco looked around for and idea. "Home?"

Just then, Kirby and his horesymen rode in with spears and arrows. "DAMN IT, I'M PISSED!" Screamed Kirby, scaring the Uruk-Hai's. "KILL THEM ALL!"

Kirby's Horesymen began to kill anything in sight. The Uruk-Hai's tried to fight back, but most were being run over by horses. Falco looked at Luigi and the two nodded. "Let's get out of here!" Luigi whispered.

"Yeah!"

But it was not meant to be, as Luigi rolled onto his back, only to come face to face with a horsey on it's hind legs. "Erm, nice horesy, good horsey!" The horesy wasn't nice, as it trampled on Luigi with a thud.

---The next day---

The hunters are still running... who would have guessed... The sun was beginning to rise from behind the plains as the group reach a small group of rocks.

"A red sun rises... Blood has been spilled this night." Link said, looking up at the sun.

Marth shrugged. "Sucks to be them." He paused for a second and turned to the North. "Shit... HIDE! HIDE!" Marth jumped behind a rock, followed by Link and Popo. Once they were out of sight, Kirby and his horesymen began to ride up over the hill and down into the plains. "Oh. It's the Riders of Rohan!" Marth and the others stood up and walked out from their cover. "RIDERS OF ROHAN! WHAT NEWS FROM THE MARK!"

"TURN AROUND!" Yelled Kirby, as he and his horesymen turned around and surrounded the trio. He pointed his spear at the three and asked, "What business does an Elf, a Man and a Dwarf have in the Riddermark?"

Link, Marth and Popo all looked at each other with blank faces. "Uh..."

"Speak quickly!"

Popo cleared his throat. "Give me your name hosemaster and I shall give you mine."

Kirby rolled his eyes and jumped off his horse. "I would cut off your head, Dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground."

"Ahem..."

Kirby then noticed that he was a little smaller then Popo. "...Oops..."

Link pulled out an arrow and pointed it at Kirby. "You would die before your stroke fell!"

"Eep!" The puffball whimpered, hiding behind his horse.

"Lego! Calm down." Marth said, pushing Link's arm down. "I am Aragorn, son of Arathron. This is Gimli, son of Gloin and Legolas of the Woodland realm."

"What?! Am I not good enough to be a son now?!" Said Link as he broke down crying.

Marth sighed. "We are friends of Théadon Dude."

"Théadon Dude has no friends..." Kirby said, coming out from his hiding place. "Is mind is evil...and he banished me for no reason at all!" He paused for a second and looked at the trio. "So, you guys are spies?"

"Since when?!"

"Since now."

"No!" Marth yelled. "We are tracking a party of Uruk-Hai's across the plains."

The puffball let out a nervous laugh. "Oh, them? Hehehe, funny story, really. I kinda killed them when I was pissed last night!"

"Did you see two hobbits?!" Popo asked.

"Um... If we did, we killed them."

"DAMN IT!" All three of them cursed.

Kirby let out a war cry, which caused two horses with no riders, come up to him. "Sorry about your hobbits. Here, take these horses instead." He got back onto his own horse. "If you use your imagination, you'll find your friends. Horseymen, away!" Kirby and his Horesymen rode off away as Marth, Link and Popo rode off to a big pile of dead Uruk-Hai's.

Popo began to use his ax/mallet to poke around the bodies till he came across a melt object. He picked it up and showed it to Link and Marth. "It's one of their wee belts."

Link sighed and Marth kicked a Uruk-Hai's helmet. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!! I think I broke my toe..."

Popo dropped the belt. "We've failed them..."

Marth looked at the markings on the ground. "A hobbit was lying here... and the other here..." He then noticed more of the tracks. "They crawled, their hands were bound." Marth began to follow the tracks. "They cut the ropes!" He stated, holding up a cut rope. "Their tracks lead away from the battle!"

"YEY!" Cheered Link and Popo.

"...and into Fangorn Forest."

"Good boy!" Link said, handing Marth a doggie treat.

Popo looked up at the dark forest. "Fangorn... what madness drove them in there..."

---Last Night, Fangorn Forest---

Luigi and Falco are jumping around the roots that were all around them. Luigi turned around to look. "I think we lost him." He said, smiling.

"Mawhaha, you are wrong!" Grishnákh laughed as he jumped out at them with his sword. The two hobbits screamed and ran towards a tree. The two of them quickly climbed up the tree and looked around.

"He's gone again!" Falco cheered.

"Like hell you did!" Grishnákh yelled, pulling Falco off the tree.

Luigi turned and looked in horror. "Merry! Nooooo!"

"Oooooooooooooooooh?"

Luigi turned and looked at the tree, which now had eyes and was looking at him. "AAAAAAAAAAAAH! TALKING TREES BATMAN!" He yelled, letting go.

"I'm gonna cut you to pieces!" Laughed Grishnákh. However, he never got a chance, as he was squished under a giant tree. Falco tired to run away, but the tree reached down the picked him.

The tree stared at the two hobbits. "Little Orcs, Bru-ra-hroom!"

Luigi and Falco looked at eachother. "Uh, we're not Orcs..." Falco said. "Who are you!?"

"My name is Treebeard! I speak for the trees, for I am an Ent!" Said Treebeard, marching through the woods.

"I thought DK was suppose to be Treebeard..." Said Luigi. Just then, Treebeard's face opened up and we see DK sitting inside with a remote, controlling the giant tree. The door slammed shut again and Luigi nodded. "Oh, I see now."

"I'm pissed." Said Treebeard. "You Orcs come here and burn and chop and burn and kill all my friends! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!"

Falco rolled his eyes. "I have a feeling you're going to be out-of-character..."

"Shush you. The White Wizard will know if you are Orcs or not."

Luigi and Falco looked at each other with fear in their eyes. "Shit! Saruman!" They said together, just as Treebeard dropped them at the feet of a tall, white being.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Hehe, like it? I have a question: Should I say DK or Treebeard when I make him talk? Which do you guys want? Other then that, enjoy this chapter!


	13. Introducing Gandearilo!

Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers: Melee. Or Lord of the Rings. 

A/N: Ok, DK it is. I only asked that, cause I didn't want to write DK and have you guys picture like...a giant tree/monkey... hehe, alright. DK it is! Wait... Helms Deep... FUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! BIG FIGHT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! No time to worry about that yet... time to relax and listen to my Mother 1 plus 2 OST. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah....No evil fight for me.

**_Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style!)  
Two Many Towers to be Two  
Chapter XIII- Introducing Gandearilo!_**

"See? See? We've lead you out!"

"Cool!"

Ness and Dr. Mario walked out from behind the rocks and joined Yoshi on top of a rock overlooking a giant swamp. "I told you there was a bog around here." Ness said, sticking his tongue out at Dr. Mario, who grabbed it and began to pull. "Ny noumge!" Dr. Mario smirked and let go, getting a punch in the face for a thank you. Ness began to walk down the rocks and was about to be followed by Yoshi.

"Nice hobbit!" Yoshi said, patting Dr. Mario on the head, then running after Ness.

---Dead Marshes---

The group were now walking through the marshes, splashing as they go. "I found. I did. The way through the marshes." Yoshi said, crawling along. "Orcses too stupid to use it. Orcses don't know it." He turned and looked at the two hobbits. "Hurry!"

Dr. Mario lost his balance for a second and almost fell into the water. Since he didn't, he got a birds eye view of what was in the water. "AAAAAAAH! There are things! Dead Things in the water!"

"Oh yeah, them." Yoshi said with a laugh. "All dead, all rotten. Men and Elves and Orcses. A Big fight was held here long ago." He turned around and looked at the two, who both were now poking a dead human. "The Dead Marshes. Yes, yes, that is their name. Now let's get the hell out of here." He began to crawl away again. "Oh, and don't follow the light."

So, of course, Ness just that. He saw a little flame on the water and walked right over to it. He stared into the water and at a dead guy. "Woah..."

"Come on..." Said the dead guy. "Fall on me... I dare you."

Ness's eyes rolled back in his head and he went splashing into the water. "MISTA FRODO!" Yelled Dr. Mario, who most likely didn't care if Ness died right then.

---In the water---

Ness: AAAAAAH!

Ghosts: Mawhahahaha! -Reach for Ness-

Ness: -Feels a hand on his shoulder and gets pulled up out of the water-

---Dead Marshes---

"Aaaaaah!!" Ness screamed, flopping around like a fish. "I...I...was in a different format..."

"I said, 'Don't follow the lights!' Am I talking to myself?!" Yelled his savor, Yoshi.

"Gollum? You saved me?!" Ness said, hugging Yoshi. "Awwww, I knew you'd be a great pet!"

---That night---

Ness and Dr. Mario were both laying down, but only Dr. Mario was sleeping. Ness was too busy petting his ring. "Puuuuuuuuuuur, I love you Frodo." Said the Ring.

"I love you too." Replied Ness, who kissed the Ring good night.

"Soooooooooooooooo bright. Soooooooooooooooo beautiful. Oooooooooooooooour precious."

Ness jumped up and looked over at Yoshi. "Our precious?! It's mine, ya idiot!"

Yoshi turned around and glared at Ness. "Master should be sleeping so I can cut off your breathing."

"Who are you?!" Ness said, walking over to Yoshi. The dinosaur gave him a blank stare for a second.

"Who the hell do you think I am?! My name is -Cough-_GOLLUM, GOLLUM_-Cough-!" He responded.

"Gandy told me you were once one of the river folk."

Yoshi let out a sigh and began to sing. "_Cold be heart, and hand, and bone. Cold be travelers far from home_."

"He said your life was a sad story. That and that you were gonna bite off one of my fingers."

"_They do not see what lies ahead when sun has failed and moon is dead!_"

"You weren't too much different then a hobbit once, weren't you..." Ness paused for dramatic tension. "Sméagol."

Yoshi looked up at Ness with his big puppy dog eyes. "Wh-What did you call me?"

"Aaaaaaaaw!" Ness said, hugging Yoshi again. "Sméagol! I call you Sméagol! That was your name, right?"

"My name?" Yoshi stared in confusion. "I thought I was Gollum! Have I been living a lie?! ...Sméagol..."

A scream is heard off in the background. Yoshi and Ness let out loud 'AAAAH's as Dr. Mario jumped up and looked around. "Uh-no! Black riders!" He yelled, pointing into the sky.

Yoshi began to crawl under a rock. "HIDE!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaargh!" Ness yelled, falling to the ground and holding the spot where Bob had stabbed him in Chapter 2. "It hurts! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahya!"

('Ness getting hurt' scoreboard: 7)

Dr. Mario saw Ness in pain and thought about saving him. He figured that he owned him for the time he almost drowned himself, so the hobbit reached over and pulled Ness under the bush he was hiding in. "I thought they were dead!"

"Dead?!" Yoshi asked. "No, you can't kill them! They are already dead! And we don't have any shotguns to shot them with!"

Up in the sky, Ringwraith #6 flew by on his giant dragon. "YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHATZ UP!" He said, waving to the camera. "I got a cameo! Yeah! I am soooooooooo cool!"

"WRAITHS!" Yelled Yoshi in horror. "WRAITHS ON WINGS!" Ness began to go all buggy-eyed again and started to reach for the Ring. "They are calling for the precious."

Dr. Mario slapped Ness across the face weakly. "No! Don't do it!"

"Ow! That wasn't needed!" Ness muttered.

Back up on the dragon, #6 gave a yawn. "Well, that was fun. I've got to be going now. Bye everyone!" He said, flying off. Of course, to everyone else, it just sounded like a high-pitched woman screaming.

Once they were sure Ringwraith #6 was gone, Yoshi slipped out into the Marshes again. "Come Hobbitses. The Black Gate is very close!"

---Fangorn Forest---

Popo took some black goo off a leave and ate it. "Hmmm, Orc blood."

"That's even grosser then what you wanted as your gift..." Marth said, before he tripped into a giant hole. "Gasp! Giant feet prints!"

Link was standing by himself, looking out into the dense forest. "This forest is old... and cranky... and it smells bad..."

"Lego, what do you see?" Marth asked, walking over to the Elf.

"The white wizard approaches."

"Shit..." Marth muttered, reaching for his sword. Link ready a bow and Popo took out a mini-ax. "Do not let him speak, he will put a spell on us." The two others nodded. "We must own him, and fast. One...two...THREE!"

The three of them turn, only to be blinded by a white light. Popo threw his mini-ax, but it was destroyed. Link shot his arrow, but it was turned to ashes as well. Marth never got to do anything, as his sword burned up in his hand, causing him to drop it. "You are tracking the footsteps of two young hobbits." Said Mewtwo.

"MEWTWO SLASH SARUMAN!" Yelled the trio.

Mewtwo laughed. "They past this way... the day before yesterday. And they met me! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Does that comfort you?"

"SHOW YOURSELF!" Marth said, still shielding his eyes from the bright light.

The light died down and what was standing before them was no Mewtwo, but Bowser, wearing all white robes and looking very god-like. He even had little angels singing in the background. "HAHAHA! I TRICKED YOU!" He said laughing.

The trio stared wide-eyed at Bowser. "It can not be..." Marth whispered.

"It's...god..." Popo said as he and Link bowed.

Marth took a step up. "You fell... literally!"

"Yup!" Bowser said with a smile. "Through fire! And water! And some snow was there too... I fought with the Balrog thing."

---Moria, Mountain Top---

"AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Yelled the Balrog, who's flames have now died out.

"Heeeeeeeeeya!" Bowser said, raising his sword the sky. "I AM MOSES!" He yelled as lightening hit the sword. He then thrust it forward and into the heart of the Balrog.

"MY HEART! IT BURNS! Wait...It's already been burning..." Balrog paused for a second. "Okay. MY HEART! IT FREEZES!" He yelled before falling off the summit and to the rocks below.

---Fangorn Forest---

"So, I killed him, then I died and was brought back all white and cool! HAHA! I am great." Said the Koopa.

"Gandalf..." Marth said, moving towards Bowser.

"Who?"

"Oh!" Popo said, standing up. "It's Gandalf."

"Who is this Gandalf?" Bowser asked, looking around. "Anyway, my name is Gandearilo the White. And I come back to you now, at the turn of the tide."

---Right outside Fangorn---

"We right to Edoras!" Bowser said with a smile. "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE SHADOWFAX! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE BOY!" He yelled into the wind. There was long wait, but then a white horse was to be seen running towards them in slow motion.

Link stared in surprise. "Is that a Mearas?"

"Yup." Bowser said, sitting down on the ground. "Okay, lets eat."

"Uh, but you just said that we're gonna ride to Edoras." Marth reminded.

"Oh, don't worry. Shadowfax is gonna take a while." The three looked over to see that Shadowfax was still running in slow motion and was no where near them.

---The next day---

"Shadowfax..." Bowser said, petting his horse. "He is lord of all horses." He got on and almost crushed the poor horse. "Let us ride!"

So Bowser, Marth, Link and Popo ride off towards Edoras, leaving Falco and Luigi behind, in the care of a very very very boring Treebeard.

---Fangorn Forest---

"Gandearilo told me to keep you two safe, so safe is were I'm going to keep you." DK said as he and the two hobbits marched through the woods. "My home lies deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep within the forest, so it's gonna take us a while to get there."

"Great..." Falco and Luigi moaned.

DK noticed the two were bored. "I should have you know that these trees are evil and they will hurt you if they get the chance. So be careful. You know, when I was a sapling..." Falco and Luigi rolled their eyes and figured that now was the best time to take a nap. "And then, Oh..." DK noticed the two had fallen asleep. "Fine...I'm not that boring, am I?"

---Mordor---

The trio climbed up a bunch of rocks that over looked the Black Gates. "Woah..." The hobbits said in awe, looking at the tall stone gates.

"Gentlemen, behold!" Yoshi said, pointing. "The Black Gate of Mordor!"

"It's scary..." Ness said, inching away from the edge of the cliff.

"See? See? Master says to show him the way into Mordor and good Sméagol does what he is told!" Yoshi said with a smile.

"Yes, you've been a good boy." Ness replied, patting him on the head while Dr. Mario just grumbled.

Just then, the Black Gates began to open. The three looked to their right and saw a bunch of men marching into Mordor. "Who are they?" Asked Dr. Mario.

Yoshi thought about it for a second. "Men. Uh, Evil Men."

"We have to get down there!" Dr. Mario said, leaning forward. Uh-oh! By some random chance, the rock he was on happened to give way and he began to roll down the hill.

"Sam!" Yelled Ness as he gave chase.

"Master!" Yoshi added, watching his friend run down the hill.

One Easterling happen to see the rocks rolling down the hill. "I SEE ROCKS! I GO CHECK!" He barked in a loud voice.

The Easterling next to him rolled his eyes and followed. "I better come with you to make sure you don't kill yourself."

Dr. Mario, who is now stuck in the rocks, began to screamed for help. "HELP! HELP! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!"

"Don't worry!" Ness said as he landed next to him and threw the elven cloak over the two of them.

Easterling Dudes 1 and 2 walked over to the rock pile and looked around. "Look, nothing but rocks." Said Easterling 2 with a sigh. "You are one hell of a retard."

"MAY BE, BUT I SMART RETARD!" The two Easterlings headed back towards the rest of the group and marched into Mordor.

Ness pulled the cloak off him and Dr. Mario. "Good thing we had this real elven cloak." Ness said with a smile before he reached to his side and held up a picture of Link giving the thumbs up with the words: 'A Real Elven Cloak! Link Approved! Available at any Elven Convenience Store!'

"The gates are closing!" Dr. Mario announced as Ness got into a running position.

"I do not-"

"Shut up, I'm coming."

The two of them were about to make a run for it when Yoshi pulled them back and onto the floor. "NOOOOO! MASTER! DON'T!" He yelled.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! MY HEAD! MY HEAD!" Dr. Mario said, running around in circles. Yoshi then noticed that he had just pulled Dr. Mario's wig off.

"Oops... Sorry..."

Yoshi and Ness looked on as the gates closed. "Sméagol! Why did you stop us?" Ness asked.

"Because we mustn't give the giant talking hand his ring back!" Yoshi said with a smile. "And I know another path into Mordor!"

"Another path?!" The hobbits yelled in unison. Dr. Mario picked Yoshi up by his neck. "Why didn't you tell us before?!"

"Because Master did not ask!"

Ness punched Dr. Mario to the ground and looked at Yoshi. "You mean there is another path?" He asked the Dinosaur.

Yoshi nodded. "Yes. There is a path... then some stairs... and then a tunnel!" He then pulled out his trump card, the puppy dog eyes.

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwww, how cute!" Ness said, hugging Yoshi once again. "Of course we'll go your way!"

Yoshi licked Ness's face. "Good Sméagol always helps!" He turned and pokes Dr. Mario. "Come on, let's get moving, yes?"

To Be Continued...

A/N: There ya guys go! Chapter 13! Enjoy! Oh, and in Yoshi's song? The word 'failed' is not a error...thats what he sings...crazy Gollum XD


	14. L33T Masta VS Giant Talking Turtle

Disclaimer: Not mine. Sorry. 

A/N: Welcome back for chapter 14! And guess what everyone?!

IT'S A BRAND NEW YEAR!.... just like the last one.

A/N: Also, I just learned something! I have been spelling Ganondorf with 2 n's for the longest time. Oops. Forgive me!

**_Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style!)  
Too Many Towers to be Two  
Chapter XIV- L33T Masta VS Giant Talking Turtle_**

---Fangorn Forest---

Falco awoke to the sun shining brightly into his eyes. "Mmmmmmmmmh, five more minutes." He muttered, rolling out of the way of the light. But once he moved out of his spot, he just couldn't get back to sleep. So he sat up, yawned and looked around the area.

"Good morning Merry!" Luigi greeted, drinking some water.

"Hey Pee." Falco said, standing and walking over towards Luigi. "Can I ha- Eep." His sentences was cut short by Luigi placing Fox's blaster right between Falco's eyes.

"My name is... Pippin..." Luigi said with a glare. "Get it right, or I'll blown your brains out."

"Uh... Okay, Pippin!" Said Falco, backing away slowly. Luigi cheered and threw the blast to some random part of the woods, then went back to drinking. "What are you drinking? And where is Treebeard?"

"Dunno. To both questions." The hobbit replied. "But I had a nice dream last night. We had some pipeweed and you got sick off it. Aaah, I miss those days."

Falco lifted and eyebrow. "That's a good dream?"

Before Luigi could answer, the trees let out a light moan. The two hobbits jumped and looked around. "Did you here that?" Asked Luigi.

"The trees are talking to each other!" There came another moan, but this time, Falco heard where it was coming from. "Wait! Pe- Pippin! You said something...treeish!"

"Really?" Luigi asked.

Falco's eyes went wide. "And your taller! Taller then ME!"

"I've always been taller then you."

"OMFG LIEZZZZZZZZZZZ!"

Luigi sighed and patted Falco on the shoulder. "Listen. Your like, what? Three foot six? At the most. I'm three foot seven!" He stretched a little and grew up. Luigi laughed. "Three foot eight!"

The Birdy then noticed what Luigi had been drinking. "Are you drinking... steroids?!" He snatched the pot away from Luigi and began to drink.

"Hey! Wait! That's mine!" Luigi said, trying to get the pot of water back. But Falco laughed and ran away, causing Luigi to give chase the two of them kept running around and around Treebeard's house until a random tree got bored of watching them and used its roots to grab the two hobbits. "AAH! MY LEG! IT'S STUCK!"

"Mine too!"

The hobbits were then buried under leafs and dirt and were about to die when DK in his Treebeard costume marched in. "Gasp! You should not be waking! Eat earth! Dig deep! Drink water! Go to sleep!" The tree's roots let go of Falco and Luigi and the two dashed out and up to DK. "Away with you!" DK finished, picking up the hobbits and marching away. "Sorry about that. The forest isn't safe anymore."

"Those lines you said... You weren't suppose to say them." Said Falco.

"Hush. Oh these poor evil trees." DK let out a sigh. "There are just too few of us Ents..."

"But don't you guys live for thousands of years?" Asked Luigi. "You should have a little baby Ents running around, right?"

DK let out another sigh. "Bru-ra-hroom. There have been no little Entlings since...we lost the Entwives!"

"Oh... How did they die?" Asked Falco.

The monkey whipped a tear away from the tree's eye. "Die? Nooooo. We lost them and now... we can't find them..." Falco and Luigi stared at each other for a minute with a look saying 'WTF d00d?'. "You two wouldn't have seen any Entwives in the Shire, would you?"

"Um, can't say that I have." Luigi said. "What do they look like?"

DK paused for a second. "You know... I don't remember..."

---Plains of Rohan---

Bowser, Marth, Popo and Link ride up onto a hill that overlooks Edoras. "Edoras. Théoden Dude lives there." Bowser told his friends. "But Saruman had taken over his mind so, don't look for a welcome!"

---Golden Hall---

Samus is on her knees and holding the hand of the very very very very Old Mario. "Théoden Dude... Your son... He is dead..."

"..." Old Mario said nothing.

"Don't you care? Your only son and heir is dead!"

"..." Old Mario said nothing.

"Won't you go see him?!"

"..." Old Mario said nothing.

"....GET OFF YOUR ASS AND SEE YOUR DEAD SON!"

"...No..." Replied Old Mario.

---Theowhatshisname's room---

Samus laid at the side of the bed, crying over the dead of her cousin. "WAAAAAAAAAH! HE WAS SO YOUNG AND FULL OF LIFE! I'M LOST AND CONFUSED WITHOUT GANDALF!" She cried.

Ganondorf decided to pay her a little visit. He stuck his head in and saw the dead body. "0h, h3 d13d? D4mn, 7h47 1s teh suxorz. L3t h4v3 53x t0 m4k3 u f33l b3tt3r."

The bounty hunter stood up and slapped Ganondorf across the face. "Your words are poison." She said, running out of the room.

"Th3y r n07!" Yelled Gannondorf as he gave chase.

---Edoras---

Samus runs out of the Golden hall and takes off her helmet, feeling the nice breeze of the wind. "Ah, the lovely wind." She whispered, looking out across the large plains. Something caught her eye. She saw three horseys making there way into Edoras. "Oh, new comers." She said with a smile. Just when she said that, she sensed something about the group. "My sexy ranger senses are tingling!" Samus laughed, put her helmet back on and walked back into the Golden Hall.

As for Bowser and his group, they rode their horses up to the Golden Hall entrance and walked towards the door, only to be met with Sandbag. "Hey Sandbag!" Marth greeted with a smile.

"Hey guys!" Sandbag greeted. "I'm so happy that I got a part in this movie! Yes! Haha!" The Sandbag then went back to the reason he was there. "I need to talk your weapons." Marth handed over his sword and daggers, Link gave him his arrows and sword and Popo tossed them his mallet/ax. All weapons were handed in but Bowser's staff. "I'm gonna need that staff." Sandbag said.

Bowser looked shocked. "You would not part an old Koopa from his walking stick, would you?"

"Yes." Sandbag replied. "I would."

"Look...Either you let me bring this inside, or I'll use it like a bat."

"B-B-B-B-B-Bat?! BAT?! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!" Screamed the Sandbag as he fell to the ground and began to spas out.

---Golden Hall---

The four enter the Golden Hall and began walking pass the guards. Old Mario and Ganondorf sat in the throne and Nana was standing off towards the side, waiting for her part later in the story. The second Ganondorf saw Bowser, he began to whisper to the king. "K1n9 d00d! G4nd4lf da Gr3y 1s h3r3."

"Théoden Dude!" Bowser yelled, walking down the hall. "Your hall is no longer nice! They took my friends weapons!"

"H3 1s n07 w3lc0m3."

Old Mario let out a loud moan and said, "Why... should I welcome you... Gandalf Stormcrow?"

The Koopa spun around and looked. "Where is this Gandalf?!"

"A ju57 qu3st10n, k1n9 d00d." Said Ganondorf, walking towards Bowser. "L8 1s da h0ur 1n wh1ch dis d00d c0m3s!"

"Do you have any idea what he's saying?" Whispered Link to Popo, who got a shrug for and answer. "I mean, is it even possible for someone to speak like that?"

"Nope." Popo replied.

"1ll n3wz 1s an 1ll gu357!" Ganondorf finished, walking right up to Bowser's face.

"God, SHUT UP!" Yelled Bowser, scaring everyone in the hall. "I did not get burned up, drown, get frost bite, die and come back to life to listen to some horrible version of L33T! AH! DIE!" Bowser whacked Ganondorf in the forehead, knocking the man out cold.

Now, the guards never liked Ganondorf. Nor did they want him to live. But they figured that the king would be pissed if they didn't do anything, so Nana, Sandbag and all the other guards charged in and began fist fighting with Link, Popo and Marth. Marth was knocking people out, Link was punching lightly as to not break a nail and Popo was hitting them below the belt.

While all this was going on, Bowser calmly walked up to Old Mario saying, "Théoden, Son of Thengel! Too long have you sat in the shadows." He held up his hand. "I release you... from this spell..."

Old Mario let out a loud, evil laugh. "You have no power here, Gandalf the Grey!"

"Gandalf?!" Bowser yelled, throwing off his gray robe to reveal his shiny white robes. "I AM NOT GANDALF!" He thrusts his staff at Old Mario, causing the plumber to fall back into the chair.

"Ooooow!" Moaned Old Mario.

Samus, who at that very moment was walking by, saw her uncle being attacked by a giant turtle, which isn't very normal back then. "UNCLE!" She yelled, running towards Old Mario, but was stopped by Marth.

"Wait." He told her, holding her back.

"Ooooh, the sexy ranger."

Old Mario was now screaming in pain. "If I go," said Mewtwo's voice. "Théoden dies!"

Bowser thrust the staff again, which caused Old Mario's head to hit the chair. "You did not kill me, you will not kill him!"

The King glared up at Bowser and Mewtwo spoke again, "Rohan is miiiiiiiiiiine!" With that, Old Mario jumped at Bowser, ready to attack like some sort of animal.

"THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!" Bowser yelled, whacking his staff right into Old Mario's forehead.

---Isengard---

Mewtwo flys backwards and lands on the ground. "My...nosey!" He moaned, standing up.

---Golden Hall---

"Oooooooooooooh..." Moaned the Old Mario, falling out of his throne. Samus broke free of Marth's grasp and ran to his side. Like magic, Old Mario transformed into the Mario we know and love today! "Wow... What the hell happened?" He said, looking around.

"Uncle!" Samus smiled, hugging Mario.

Mario looked up at Samus. "I know that helmet..." Said Mario. "Èowyn, it must be you."

Bowser gave a smirk, knowing that he had done good. "Breathe the free air again, my friend."

The now Young Mario turned to Bowser and gasped. "Gandalf?"

"ARGH! LISTEN AND LISTEN UP GOOD!" Screamed Bowser, addressing everyone in the Golden Hall. "MY NAME IS GANDEARILO, NOT GANDALF!"

"Idiot..." Muttered Marth, who whacked Bowser over the head with his sword. "Your name is Gandalf, not Gandearilo."

"Gandearilo!"

**WHACK!**

"GANDALF!"

"GAN...DEARILO!

**WHACK!**

"GANDALF!"

"FINE!" Bowser pushed Marth away. "My name is Gandalf the White..."

"So, what happened to me?" Asked Mario.

Bowser gave a chuckle. "Your fingers will remember for you."

Sandbag hopped up with the King's sword in his mouth and presented it to Mario. Ever so slowly, Mario reached for it and pulled it out...only to drop it to the floor. The entire hall stared at him for a second. "...It was heavy..."

"OH NOEZZZZZZZ!" Yelled Ganondorf, who had just woken up after hearing Bowser's screaming. "I g07z 2 g37 0u7 0f h3r3!" He stood up and was about to run away when Popo jumped on top of him.

"Where do you think your going?" Laughed the dwarf. Once hearing Ganondorf, Mario turned and glared at the Gerudo and reached for his sword.

---Outside---

Nana and Sandbag throw Ganondorf down the stairs of the Golden Hall. He rolled down each other, letting out cries of numbers and letters until he reached the last step. "0w!" He yelled, rolling on his back. Ganondorf then saw that Mario was walking down the stairs with his sword, ready to kill the poor man. "d00d, WTF?!" Ganondorf said, crawling away. "u n07h1n9 bu7 a b4d d00d! Fukk u s00000 h4rd!"

"Your L33Tery would have had me crawling on all fours like a beast!" Yelled Mario, raising his sword.

"Sp4r3 m3!"

"NO!" Mario lifted the sword and was about to chop him into little pieces when Marth grabbed the King's hand.

"No my lord! He's killed too many people already." Marth said. "Let him go."

"Are you crazy?!" Mario exclaimed, staring at Marth.

"Yes... Yes I am." Marth bent down and offered Ganondorf a hand, but the Gerudo spat on his fist, hopped on a horsey and rode off.

Mario cleared his throat and turned around. "That was fun, but anyway, where is Theowhatshisname? Where is my son?"

---Graveyard---

Bowser and Mario were standing outside, around the tombs of the kings of Rohan. Mario was holding up a pretty white flower. "A Simbelmynë..." The King whispered. "It's so pretty, right? But it only grows on the tombs of my fore bearers." He turned towards Bowser. "This sucks. My son is dead, I was under Saruman's control, I banished my own nephew, and my house is finished!"

"Geez, that does su- Um, I mean, do not despair." Said Bowser. "This will get better... one day... I guess..."

Mario shook his head. "No parent should have to bury their child." He then fell to the ground and began to cry like a little kid.

Bowser was about to head back towards Edoras when he turned and saw the kids from Chapter 11 riding up on their horse. "What's that?" He said, peering out into the twilight. As he did, Éothain fell off the horse and landed with a thud. "GASP! ADORABLE CHILDREN IN PAIN!"

To Be Continued...

A/N: That chapter was, uh, fun... I guess. Did you enjoy yourselves? R&R I guess. Oh! Flames will be used to light the beacons!


	15. OMG ITZ ROY! And Yoshi goes crazy

Disclaimer: I do not own SSBM or LOTRs 

A/N: Chapter 15! Yey! After I finish this chapter, we are half way through the half way mark of Too Many Towers. (There are 11 chapters)

**_Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style)  
Too Many Towers to be Two  
Chapter XV- OMG ITZ ROY!!! And Yoshi goes crazy._**

---Golden Hall of Edoras---

The two kiddies are eating some ugly looking soup while Mario sat in his throne, Bowser in Ganondorf's seat and the three Fellowship members on the other side of the hall. "They had no warning." Samus said, patting Freda on the head. "We need sirens or something for when Wild men attack. Now they're going across the Westfold, burning as they go." Samus picked up a blanket and covered the kids. "Rick, cot and tree... whatever that means."

"Where is Mama?" Asked Freda.

"Dead." Replied Samus, walking away.

Bowser put his claw on Mario's throne. "This is but a taste of what that evil kitty will do. More adorable children will get hurt. You've gotta fight!"

"NO!" Mario yelled, jumping up. "I will let any more of my people die. I will not risk open war."

Marth took his pipe out of his mouth and threw at Mario's head, hitting dead on. "Open war is upon you, fool of a took. You've gotta fight."

"Hey! Fool of a Took is MY trademark line!" Bowser complained.

"No... It's Gandalf's... Mister I am Gandearilo the White."

"Oh...that's cold..."

Mario looked around in a panic. "I AM THE BRAVE KING OF ROHAN!"

---Outside---

"By order of the Brave King," Said Sandbag to the people. "We will run and hide at Helm's Deep! Leave all you can behind, because we'll be too busy carrying the King's stuff to care about yours."

"HELM'S DEEP!?" Bowser yelled as he, Marth, Popo and Link marched down to the stables. "He flees to the mountains when he should stand and fight?!"

"Helm's Deep has saved them before." Marth told the Koopa as Bowser jumped onto the poor horse named Shadowfax.

"But there is no way out! Meh, fine, it's not my problem." Bowser patted Marth on the shoulder. "Look for my coming, at first light on the fifth day. On the 21st chapter, look to the east." He leaned down and whispered into the prince's ear. "You must go by a different road. Follow the river and look for black ships."

"Wha?"

"Ride Shadowfax! Ride and Look Cool!" Bowser kicked the horse, causing him to gallop out of the stable, smashing Link and Popo in the process.

---Isengard---

Ganondorf rides up on his pony, laughing like some hacker on sugar. He quickly ran up to Mewtwo's chamber, where the kitty was talking to himself. "Gandalf the _White_?!" Muttered Mewtwo, pacing back and forth. "Gandalf the _N00B_! Argh! Just when you think you know someone..."

"Y0000 Wu7z up3rz?!" Ganondorf greeted as he entered the room. "I h34rd wu7 j00 s41d, bytch! G4nd4lf d00d h4d th3s3 ppl w17h h1m. A Dw4rf, 31f, n da R4n93r."

Mewtwo raised his eyebrow. "...What?"

"I s41d, G4nd4lf h4d fr13nd5!"

"...I can't understand a word your saying."

"d00d, I s4y d47 G4nd4lf-"

"Oh, Gandalf had company with him. I see." Mewtwo growled. "That Ranger, was he from Gondor?" Ganondorf opened his mouth to answer, but Mewtwo quickly began talking again. "A strange ring?" Ganondorf was about to reply. "Two serpents you say?" Mewtwo floated over to his stand, where a book was laying open. He flipped to a page with a ring on it. "Bah! The Ring of Barahir! FUCK!" Cursed the kitty, slamming the book shut. "So Gandalf, you think you've found Isildurs heir? Heh... madders not, the world of men will fall! HAHAHAHA!"

"HAHAaAHHHAAHA!!11!11!111!" Laughed Ganondorf.

---Golden Hall---

Samus was looking through some of Mario's old toys while Nana and Sandbag began to carry boxes out of the chamber. She picked up a sword and began swinging it around. "Weeeeeeeeeeee, I feel giddy!" She said, playing with the sword like you would some wood stick.

Unknowing to her, but her sword came a little too close to Marth's face, so the prince blocked it with his own sword. "You have some skill with a blade." He said with a smile.

"Ooooooh, Yeah. I do." Said Samus, putting the sword back in the chest. "I had to learn when I was a little girl. I'm gonna help you fight, I don't fear death!"

"Then what do you fear?"

"Captain Fal- I mean, a cage. I don't want to be a prisoner."

Marth shook his head. "You're a daughter of kings! That won't be your fate."

"Oh yeah." Samus took off her helmet and did a weird facial expression with her eyes. "Now I am truly Éowyn!"

And so, the people of Edoras head on out, on their looooooooooooooooong WALK to Helm's Deep... Good thing this chapter doesn't focus on them.

---Isengard---

"Th34d3n d00d w0n'7 s74y 4t 3d0r45." Ganondorf said, cleaning the cut on his lip. "H3 1s a c0w4rd. H3'll run t0 H31m'5 D33p. Bu7 d00d, h3 w1ll b3 sl0w. H3's g07 w0m3n...4n6 ch1ldr3n w17h h1m." Mewtwo stared at Ganondorf for a long while before he understood what he said and smirked.

---Deeper Places of Isengard---

Mewtwo and Ganondorf walked up to a Orc. "Send out your Giant Hyenas!" Mewtwo commanded, the Orc letting out a yell for an answer.

---Ithilien---

Ness and Dr. Mario are walking along side a river, while Yoshi was sliding about on his belly trying to catch a fish. "DON'T RUN AWAY YOU STUPID LIZARD!" Yelled Dr. Mario as the chased after the dinosaur.

"Why do you do that?" Ness asked. "Why do you make fun of him!"

Dr. Mario rubbed the back of his neck. "I was always picked on in medical school."

"I want to help him."

"WHY?!"

Yoshi turned around and gave Ness the puppy dog eyes attack. "Aaaaaaaw, I mean, I have to believe he can come back. And those eyes of his are a big help too."

"But he's just gonna betray us!" Dr. Mario yelled, only to get slapped by Ness. The boy let out a very fake gasp and said,

"I don't know why I just did that!"

Dr. Mario turned and began to walk away when he turned back and answered, "I do. It's that ring!"

"NO IT ISN'T!" Yelled the Ring. "If I wanted to slap you, I'd do it myself! God! Stop blaming me for all of his problems!"

"I don't have any problems!" Ness snapped back at the Ring.

Ring would have rolled it's eyes. "Suuuuuuure you don't. You're talking to a RING!"

"Then you should shut up!" Yelled the hobbit to the ring around his neck. "...No, I will not go and... Oh don't you start that sass with me... HOW DARE YOU!" Ness began to punch his chest, trying to shut up the Ring, while Dr. Mario shrugged and headed off to eat some fish.

---That night---

Dr. Mario, Ness and Ring all slept peacefully as Yoshi sat on a rock and thought about his life. "They stole it from us. Evil furry footed creatures!" Yoshi said to no one. But he quickly shook his head and said, "No, Master is Yoshi's friend!"

"You don't have any friends." Said Evil Yoshi.

Good Yoshi covered his ears. "I'm not listening! You're just a meanie!"

"You're a liar... and... uh, a thief."

The Good Yoshi smiled. "Nope."

"Hmm, alright. But I know you're a murderer." Evil Yoshi said with a smirk, making Good Yoshi cry.

"You win... Now, go away." Replied Good Yoshi through his tears. "WAAAAAAAAH!"

Evil Yoshi laughed. "Go away?! MAWHAHAHA- No."

"I hates you."

"Where would you be with me?! Huuuuuuuh?! -Cough-_GOLLUM, GOLLUM!-_Cough- I saved us dude. It was ME!"

"Is your idea of saving us driving me up into the mountain and eat raw fish for a thousand years?!"

"Uh... Yeah... We'll, it worked, didn't it?"

Good Yoshi stopped crying for a second and looked up. "Not anymore."

"...What?" Asked Evil Yoshi.

"Leave now and never come back."

"WTF d00d?!" Came Ganondorf's voice.

"Leave, now, and never come BACK!" Evil Yoshi let out a snarl. "LEAVE! NOW! AND NEVER, COME BACK!"

Yoshi looked around the forest for any sign of Evil Yoshi. "Woah... and Dr. Mario thinks Ness has problems... Wait, I told him to go away, and AWAY HE GOES!" Yoshi jumped off the rock and began to dance around like a merry school boy. "Gone, gone, gone! Sméagol is freeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

---The next day---

Ness was lying down having a nice nap when Yoshi hops up and drops some bunnies into his lap and gave a weird laugh. "Lookie at these bunnies! Look at what Sméagol finds! Eat them, Eat them!" Yoshi picked up one of the coneys and broke its back, then ate the poor thing in one gulp.

"Golly... Thanks..." Ness said, poking the dead rabbit.

Dr. Mario ran over and grabbed the remaining animals away from Ness. "You'll get sick if you eat them like that. There is only one way to cook coneys."

After Dr. Mario got a fire and stew going, Yoshi let out a scream of pure horror, and Ness went back to sleep, it seemed that a normal meal will soon be had. "What's its doing?!" Yoshi yelled, trying to grab the bunnies out of the stew. "You're killing them! Well, they were already dead but..."

"Ah, shut up." Dr. Mario yelled, putting in some spices. "All they need is a few good taters."

"Taters?" Yoshi asked. "What's... Taters, precious?"

The fat hobbit stared at Yoshi like he was some sort of... weird alien. "PO-TA-TOES! HOW CAN YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THEM?! They taste soooooo good with chips and fish." Yoshi moaned in disgusted and Dr. Mario just sighed. "Even you couldn't say no to that."

"Oh yes we could!" Yoshi said, crawling up to Dr. Mario. "Give it to us raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw and wriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggling!"

"Ew, you spat on me!" While that little conversation was going on, Ness happen to hear a noise and, you guessed it, stupidly walked off to see what it was. Once noticing that the main character was missing, Yoshi and Dr. Mario also joined Ness, watching the Haradrim march. "What are they?" Dr. Mario asked.

"Men, you idiot." Yoshi replied. "Do we have to go through this every time?! Remember what I said in chapter 13? Sauron is gathering all his forces to make this war, the last war to cover the world in shadow!"

Ness nodded. "Then we better get moving." And for the first time, Ness was about to leave a dangerous area... but Dr. Mario reached up and grabbed his hand.

"Look!" He said pointing to a giant Elephant type creature. "It's an Oliphaunt."

"Woah. Good thing you showed me, I was about to get out of danger." The two continued to stare at the Oliphaunt, until they noticed that the Haradrim were being shot with arrows from some cloaked people off in the woods. The hobbits began to panic, as one arrow hit the Oliphaunt, making a random dead guy fall off and land on Ness with a thud.

"OOF!" Ness yelled as he was crushed with a random dead body.

('Ness Getting Hurt' Scoreboard: 8)

Once Ness had pushed the guy off him, he stood and said to Dr. Mario, "Let's get the hell out of here." The two were about to leave when a cloaked figure, looking strangely like a giant hand, grabbed the two of them and let out a laugh. Another Cloaked figure, smaller and cuter, walked out from the bushes. He pulled down his cloak to reveal... oh, who do you think?

"AAAAAAAAHZ!" Came the scream from the thousand of Roy fangirls, who came floating down on a cloud. "ROYS OUR BOY! ROYS OUR BOY!"

Roy pointed at the fangirls and his rangers fired, scaring the girls away. "Ha. And that's the real reason I carry these guys with me." The Ranger turned towards Ness and Dr. Mario. "Hmm, little midgets. Bind their hands."

"Righto!" Replied the cloaked hand-shaped figure.

"Grrrr, see?" Ness muttered under his breath towards Dr. Mario. "This time it was YOUR fault."

To Be Continued....

A/N: Sorry if that chapter wasn't too funny. I was sorta forcing myself to write it. I got hit in the head with a basketball today and past out, so the doctor said I should try to stay awake for a longer time. This helped me stay up. I should get started with Chapter 16 right away! If I die in my sleep...sucks for you guys!


	16. Popo's Series of Unfortunate Events

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this chapter. 

A/N: Well, it seems I didn't die. Yey. We're heading onto Chapter 16 now! Even bigger yey! More walking. Nooo. And there is a fight in this chapter. Even bigger noooo. There is only one thing that can make me happy now... -Puts Ness, Falco, Luigi and Dr. Mario with 99 lives- Yey! Dance my little Shirelings, DANCE!

**_Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style)  
Too Many Towers to be Two  
Chapter XVI- Popo's Series of Unfortunate Events_**

---Uh...I don't know, some place---

The people from Edoras are walking across the plains, bored to tears. Popo was riding on a horse that was 10 times too big for him and he was busy yapping on about Dwarves to Samus. "It's true, you don't see many dwarf women." Popo told Samus, who nodded in agreement. "It's funny, really. I even have a sister. We're so alike in voice and appearance that she's often mistaken for a Dwarf man."

Samus scratched her helmet and turned towards Marth. The prince whispered, "It's the beard."

"Oh." She turned back towards Popo. "Are you a woman?"

"...No... But when the guys and me go out looking for woman, we sometimes wind up hitting on Dwarf men! And now people think Dwarves just pop out of holes, like hobbits!"

Samus chuckled at the statement, but it must have scared the horse, since the pony ran off with Popo still on top. "Uh-oh."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MAKE IT STOP!!!" Popo yelled before he fell off the horse and began to roll around on the ground. Samus ran over to the Ice Climber and began to help him up. "Nobody panic! It was deliberate, it was deliberate!"

Marth watched as Samus helped Popo up, turn and smile at him. Well, he couldn't really see her smile, but he knew she was. He could sense it. And apparently, so can Mario. "She's smiling." He said, riding up to Marth on his horse.

"Yeah..." Marth replied. "And at me."

"She doesn't smile much anymore for some reason...I forgot why." ---Later on, at a Camping spot--- Samus was running through the camp, holding a pot of soup, offering to random suckers- I mean, villagers. "Gimli, want some soup?" She asked, offering the soup to Popo.

"No, I couldn't! It's bad for my heart." The dwarf replied before he walked off to go eat real food.

Samus looked around for anyone would want to try her soup. Her eyes fell upon, you guessed it, Marth. "Hey Sexy Ranger." Samus greeted, sitting down next to Marth. "Want some soup?"

"Sure." Marth answered, reaching for a bowl.

"I made it myself."

Marth froze with the spoon in his hand and was about to start eating. "Erm, it's good." He said with a smile.

"Really?! That's great!" Samus cheered. "Would you like me to get you some soap as well?" Marth glared at Samus, but she didn't notice. "Question time!"

"Oh joy."

"My Uncle said that you and my Grandfather marched into war together." She said. "But that's impossible, right?"

Marth put the bowl down and said, "Nothing is impossible."

"Then you've got to be at least sixty!"

"Nope."

"Seventy?!"

"Incorrect."

Samus let out a little laugh. "Then you must be eighty!"

"Eighty-seven." Samus let out a loud gasp and fell over on her back, in shock that she had fallen for a guy that was older then her grandmother.

That night, Marth was sitting under a tree and smoking some pipeweed, ya know, just chillin'.

---Flashback---

Marth opened his eyes and looked around. He was in Rivendell and standing right next to him was Zelda. "Hey Arwen."

"Heya!" Replied Zelda.

"Ah, this must be a dream-"

"Shut up and kiss me."

So they make out...

---End Flashback, and its morning now---

"Who is she?"

Marth turned towards Samus, who had once again walked up here him. "Who?"

"The woman who gave you that jewel." She said, pointing to the Evenstar.

"Oh... this little thingy..."

---Flashback---

It's Rivendell again. Fox and Marth are together now, having a father-son talk. "Our time here is ending." Fox said, with a sigh. "Arwen's™ time is ending."

"Yeah, I know!" Replied Marth. Fox walked right up into his face and began to speak again.

"Let her take the ship into the West and fly away with us to the Undying Lands™ to be with us in ever green happiness."

Marth laughed. "If you want ever green happiness, just go to the Shire."

"I WILL NOT LEAVE MY DAUGHTER HERE TO DIE!"

"She stays because she has hope!"

"OMFG LIEZZZZZZZZ!" Yelled Fox. "She stays for you, she belongs with her people!" Marth sighed and walked away, knowing that he could never win a fight against Fox.

The next morning, Marth was getting ready to leave on the Fellowship's journey, when Zelda came over to him. "Is this how you were gonna leave me?! First light at dawn without saying goodbye?!"

Marth sighed. "Listen, your daddy is going all crazy on me and stuff. So be a good girl and sail away with, alright?" Zelda looked at Marth with a surprised face. "It was a dream, Arwen."

"-Cough-™-Cough-"

The two looked around for the cougher, but he was no where to be sense. "...And nothing more." Marth handed Zelda the Evenstar, but being the nice girl she is, closed his hand around it.

"It was a gift. Keep it. Sell it on Ebay or something."

---End Flashback---

"My lord?"

Marth looked around in a daze. "A-wha? Oh. Yeah, she's sailing away to the undying lands with all that is left of her kin."

"Ooooh, I see." Samus smirked. "And elf..."

Two horses gallop by, their riders being Nana and Sandbag. They rode up bast the front of the group and past Link, who was standing on a rock, staring out into space. "I sense evil." Link said, looking around.

Nana and Sandbag stopped there horses and looked around. "Hmmm, Elf boy must have been wrong." Said the Sandbag. "I don't see anything."

"Hmm, you're right..." Nana agreed.

"I bet you ten bucks that one of us dies."

"You're on!"

The two turned towards a large rock, where a giant hyena jumped off and tackled Sandbag. The Orc riding it laughed and the Warg bit into the Sandbag. "AAAAAAAH! I KNEW IT!!!!!!" Nana snapped her fingers and walked the beast rip the poor bag to pieces and listening to his last words: "YOU OWN ME 10 BUCKS!"

Link gasped and killed the Warg and it's rider with two arrows. He ran over and looked at the Orc. "A scout!"

"OH NOEZ!" Nana screamed. "WE'RE UNDER ATTACK BY GIANT HYENA'S!"

Marth, who heard the Ice Climber's high pitched voice, gasped in shock. "Giant Hyena's?!"

"SHIT!" Yelled the People of Rohan.

Mario lifted his sword and said, "Riders! Ride!"

The Guards were scrambling around, trying to get onto any pony they could. Marth saw one and stole it away from the old lady who owned it. Popo was also trying to get onto a horse he stole, but failing. "Aaaaaah! Help me up!" He whined, too short to get on the horse's back.

Samus was also about to get onto a horse when Mario rode up to her. "What are you doing?"

"I can fight!"

"NO! Lead the people to Helm's Deep. Pleeeeeeeeeease?" Mario tried his hand at puppy dog eyes, but it only cracked Samus's visor.

She sighed and yelled, "Alright! Everyone! Follow me!"

"I think my horse is broken..." Popo said, trying to make his horse move, but only having it trot backwards. After a few seconds, the horse learned that he was going the wrong way and headed off with the other horseys into war!

Meanwhile, Link was busy shooting the Wargs as they came over the hill with his bow. "One! Two!" He counted, killing Warg after Warg. When he heard the rumbling of the horses, he turned around and jumped onto Popo's horse, stealing the reins away. "What have I told you about driving the horse?!"

"But how am I going to learn if I never drive!" Popo said, crossing his arms in anger.

So the Humans on their Horseys and the Orcs on their Giant Hyena's smashed into each other....ouch.... Orcs were swinging their swords around, killing anything they could see, as were the Humans. Link galloped around, shooting Random things with his bow. But the horse hit a bump in the ground, knocking Popo off the back.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahya!" Popo yelled, rolling around on the floor. He stood up and looked around at the chaos. A Warg, who was eating a Horse, saw the little Ice Climber and began to drool. "...ARRR, YES! BRING YOUR PRETTY FACE TO MY MALLET!" The Warg chanced at Popo and was about to pounce on the dwarf, when Link rode by and shot it with a arrow. "Aaah!" Popo reached into his back pocket, pulled out a sticker with his face on it, and slapped it on the Warg. "That one counts as mine!"

"You're welcome!"

Popo rolled his eyes and turned around to attack another Warg. He killed it, but the giant Hyena fell on top of him, "Ooof!"

Mario road around on his pony, stabbing an Orc in the chest. He withdrew it and stabbed another one and laughed. "This is fun!" He said in a Peach-type voice.

Marth was doing much of the same, cutting off Orc's head and killing any Wargs that came near him. "Stupid Hyena's..." He muttered, stabbing one in the back with his sword.

The Ice Climber began to push the Warg off his body, when an Orc showed up and lifted his sword, about to stable him. "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE...except after C!" Popo grabbed the Orc's neck and twisted it, killing him and causing his dead body to fall ontop of the Hyena. "...Great..."

Link, Mario and Marth seemed to be the only ones killing and not getting hurt. The Riders of Rohan we're being knocked off their horseys by the Wargs, and the Orc's were too stupid to understand the fact that swords are pointy.

Popo, now with two bodies ontop of him, continued to push. He tried and tried...but something stepped on the Orc, pushing them back to the ground. "Ouch! Well I oughta..." Popo was about to snap the neck of the Orc that had stepped ontop of the mound of bodies...if it had been an Orc. The Warg glared into the little midgets eyes and was about to eat his face off.

Marth saw his little midget in trouble, so he picked up a spear that had fallen to the ground and threw it at the Warg, killing it, and also making it fall ontop of Popo. "You're welcome!" He turned around and was tackled off the horse by a random Giant Hyena, that thought he looked tasty. Marth stood up and looked around. A Warg was running at him, so he rolled to the left and grabbed onto the Orc rider's leg. He took out his dagger and stabbed the poor guy in the chest and was about to let go, but his arm was stuck! "OH NOEZ!" He yelled, as the Warg stupidly ran right off a cliff...wow...what a way to go.

King Mario watched as his Riders chased off the Hyena's and the Riders. "WE WON! YES!"

Link jumped off his horse and looked around. "Aragorn?"

"ARAGORN!?" Yelled Popo, who somehow got out from under that pile of icky stuff.

The three of them slowly made their way towards the edge of the cliff where an Orc was lying, laughing. "Hehehe."

Popo put his mallet/ax to his neck. "Tell me what happened, and I'll ease your passing."

"He's...DEAD! HAHAHA!" Laughed the Orc.

Popo growled. "Well, while I might not agree with what you say, I shall fight to the death to defend your right to say it." He said, before the Orc died. Link walked over to the Orc and opened his hand and gasped. He was holding the Evenstar.

Mario shrugged. "Well, whatever. Get the wounded on horses and leave the dead." He patted Link on the shoulder. "Come." He whispered, heading over towards the rest of the humans.

"Hmph, Why? I only came along with them cause Marth was here. I MUST FIND MARTH!" Link complained.

"What? Cause you never got your kissy?" Popo asked. Link glared at Popo, then pushed him off the cliff. "WAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Link headed towards Mario. "I didn't do!"

---Uh, 'Near' Helm's Deep---

"YEY!" Cheered the People of Rohan

---Inside Helm's Deep---

The People of Rohan entered and all ran off in various directions, finding their loved ones. Two of which were Éothain and Freda. "MOTHER!" They cheered, hugging Mother from Chapter 11.

Samus was looking around at all the boxes they had saved from the attack. "That's it?!"

"'Tis all we could save, Madam Boss Woman." Replied an Old Man.

"MAKE WAY!" Came a random voice. Samus knew that the random voice could only mean one thing, so away she ran to the gates of Helm's Deep. "MAKE WAY FOR THÈODEN DUDE!"

The horses rode up to where Samus and other humans were waiting. Mario hopped off his horse and began to pet it. "So few. So few of you have returned." Samus said, looking for Marth.

"Uh... Well, maybe if SOMEONE had stayed and fought and not run to Helm's Deep, then we MIGHT have done better." Mario said, looking at Samus in an 'It's your fault' way.

Samus punched Mario and knocked him out cold, just as a badly beaten Popo walked up to Samus and poked her. "Hey..." He said, coughing up some blood. "I think I'm-"

"WHERE IS ARAGORN!?" Samus yelled, picking up Popo by his collar.

"He fell... literally!"

Samus threw Popo up into the air and screamed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" All day long, until at last, Popo came crashing down from the sky and smashing her into the ground.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Luigi. Luigi won with 15 lives left. And now, it's time to throw our:

'HAPPY 16th/15th CHAPTER PARTY!'

Mario: Since-a this is really chapter 15 of this-a story, Link has put together a little-a play for all you readers, Zelda and Young-a Link! Link?

Link: Ahem. -Great Bay's theme begins to play and he starts singing- _Link! He come to town!_

Ness: -Walks up wearing Young Link's clothes and lifts sword-

Link: _Come to save, the Princess Zelda!_

Peach: -Spins around wearing Zelda's clothes- Sah-weet!

Link: _Ganon took her away,_

Captain Falcon: -Wearing Ganondorf's clothes, grabs Peach by the hair and runs away dragging her on the ground-

Link: _And now the children don't play,_

Ice Climbers: -Crying-

Link: _But they will when Link save the day, HALLELUJJA! Now Link, fill up your hearts!_

Ness: Okay!

Link: _So you can shoot, your sword with power!_

Ness: -Fires a beam of light out of the tip of Y. Link's sword-

Young Link: Since when could I do that?

Link: First Game. _And when you're feeling all down,_

Ness: -Falls to the ground-

Link: _The Fairy will come around,_

Luigi: -Floats up in a bubble- I'm-a the Green Fairy!

Link: _So you be brave! And not a sissy coward._ -Musical interlude- Quick! Dancing girls, Dance!

Samus, Jigglypuff and Bowser: -Wearing bikini's and doing the monkey-

Link: _Now Link, has saved the day!_

Ness: I did?

Link: _For Ganon is in his grave!_

Captain Falcon: Nuts. -Dies-

Link: _Now Zelda is free,_

Peach: Oooh, did I win?

Link: _And now our Hero shall be,_

Peach: -Kisses Ness on the cheek-

Link: _Link, I think your name should go down into history!_ -Music Stops- That's to show you how much I love you Zelda!

Zelda: Awwww.... How cute...

Cast: -Turn and look to Young Link-

Young Link: ...Generally I like it.

Cast: YEY!

Luigi: -Floats by in the background- HEY-A! LOOK-A! LISTEN-A! HEY-A! LOOK-A! LISTEN-A! HEY-A! LOOK-A! LISTEN-A! HEY-A! LOOK-A! LISTEN-A! HEY-A! LOOK-A! LISTEN-A! HEY-A! LOOK-A! LISTEN-A!


	17. Happy, Happy Hobbits! BEEP!

Disclaimer: Hello. I do not own anything within this story. Nada. Nothing. 

A/N: Hello everyone! Yeah, they sang that song. I was afraid that one of the many SSBM Idol storys were gonna use it or something! Hehe.Glad you all liked the play Enjoy this chapter!

**_Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style!)  
Too Many Towers to be Two  
Chapter XVII- Happy, Happy Hobbits! BEEP!_**

"H3lm5 D33p h45 bu7 1 w34kn355...A 5m4ll dr41n 7h1n9y..."

---Isengard---

"WTF d00d?" Ganondorf asked, walking towards Mewtwo. "H0w c4n f1r3 und0 s70n3?!"

"HEY!" Mewtwo yelled, grabbing Ganondorf's hand. "What have I told you about using the PAPER!" He pointed to a pad of paper and pen. "HMPH! Anyway, to answer your question, No I am not a cross-dresser!"

"o.o?" Replied Ganondorf.

"Eh, oops, I mean... If the wall is breached, Helm's Deep will fall!"

Ganondorf reached for the pad and wrote down: 'But My Lord, it will take an army of computer generated proportion to storm the keep!'

"Indeed it will!" Mewtwo lead him out to his balcony, which over looked about 10,000 Uruk-Hai's, all cheering and stomping. Ganondorf gasped and Mewtwo lifted his hand. "A NEW POWER IS RISING!" He yelled over the ranting.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cheered the Uruk-Hai's.

"IT WILL WIN!" Mewtwo also announced.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cheered the Uruk-Hai's.

"THIS NIGHT... Or a Night coming up very soon, THE LAND WILL BE STAINED WITH THE BLOOD OF ROHAN!"

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cheered the Uruk-Hai's.

"MARCH TO HELM'S DEEP! LEAVE NONE ALIVE!"

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cheered the Uruk-Hai's.

"TO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!"

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cheered, ah you know.

Ganondorf began to cry at the very sight of the lovely forces while Mewtwo gave another one of his smirks for Pokemon: The First Movie. "There will be no dawn for men..." He said with a laugh.

And so the Uruk-Hai's head out of Isengard, heading towards Helm's Deep...

---Fangorn Forest---

Falco and Luigi we're both resting on top of DK in his Treebeard suit when they saw some smoke rising from into the sky. "Smoke?" Luigi asked, looking over at Falco, who shrugged.

"Ah, there is always smoke rising from Isengard these days..." DK said, marching on.

Falco sat up. "Isengard?" The two hobbits climbed up the to the top of Treebeard and turned towards where the smoke was coming from.

"Ah, yes. Saruman. He used to come and walk in my woods- Blah, Blah, Blah." DK Went on ranting.

"It's Saruman's army..." Falco said, staring at the 10,000 troops marching towards Helm's Deep. "War's stared!"

Luigi sighed. "And were are WE during all this?" The two looked down at DK, who was still ranting, and sighed.

---Erm, River---

Marth was floating along a river, wondering what happened to him. "Where am I...Who are you...Who am I..." He washed up onto the shore of a beach and closed his eyes, taking a nap. He slept for a little bit, till a horse walked up to him and began to lick his face. "Hmm, Arwen..." He muttered, before frenching the horse until his opened his eyes. ".........Oh........god......." He stood up slowly, backed away a little, then released the horse was there to save him and hopped on.

---Rivendell---

Zelda was lying down in her bed, looking off into space when Fox walked in. "Arwen™? What are you going here? You're suppose to be in 'The Two Towers™'."

"Well, I am..." Zelda said, rolling over.

"Oh. Alright, well now get your pretty little ass out of bed and get on those ships. They're leaving!"

"NO!" She yelled, standing up. "DADDY! I'M A GROWN GIRL! I CAN MAKE MY OWN CHOICES IN LIFE! I. AM. STAYING!"

Fox sighed. "Listen. If Aragorn™ does survive the war, which he won't, and you guys get married and are all happy... We'll, he'll STILL die. By sword or age, his life is limited. Then you'll be all, 'WAAAAAAAAAAH!' for thousands of years, till you commit suicide...I guess..."

"Don't lie..."

"WHAT?! I, ELROND™, A LIER?!"

Zelda nodded. "Elves can die of a broken heart too, y'know!"

"Says who?"

"Says the Big Book of Elven Rules!" She held up a big thick book reading: The Big Book of Elven Rules.

Fox rolled his eyes. "And just why would YOU have that book?"

"Because, MY ears are REAL!" She reached forward and began to tug on Fox's ears. Of course, she forgot that Foxes have somewhat pointed ears, as well.

"OWIES!" He yelled, pushing Zelda away and rubbing his ears.

The Princess gasped in shocked. "Your ears are real too?"

"YES! And because you hurt your Dada, you've gotta sail away with us!"

"...Darn it..."

---Later On---

Fox stood in a tower, watching as the elves left Rivendell with lanterns and cloaked in capes. "Goodbye my little Elves! I'll see you in 5 Years!" He said, waving them goodbye.

Peach then appeared behind Fox, talking on her magic cell phone. "Like, NO WAY! Oh, are you serious? Ok. I've gotta call Toad and, we'll like, paint our nails or something. Hang on." She pressed the end button, then went into voice dial.

"Name please." Came the voice of the sexy mystery woman.

"Home." Peach said, very clearly.

"Calling, Mom's Cell."

"WHAT?! I said, HOME! HOME!" She yelled into the phone.

"Would you like to place a call?" Asked the voice, who now, somehow, has turned into an Old Lady.

"Huh? NO!"

"PEACH!? PEACH IS THAT YOU!?" Came the voice on another old lady. "PEACH! YOUR FATHER IS STARTING TO SMELL! COME LET US OUT OF THIS CAVE! WE SAID YOU CAN HAVE THE CAR WHEN YOU'RE 18! Are you 18 yet?"

Peach threw her phone to the ground and stepped on it a few times, reducing it to pieces. She then looked up and saw Fox staring at her confused. "Oh yeah..." She cleared her throat and began, "The time of the Elves... is over. Do we leave Middle-Earth to it's fate? Do we let them stand alone?"

Fox shrugged and turned around. "Meh, not my people."

---Cave---

Crazy Hand untied and removed Ness's and Dr. Mario's blindfolds, then floated away without a word. "Woah... We're are we?" Dr. Mario asked, looking around.

Roy walked up to the two of them and sat down on a rock. "My men tell me that you are Orc Spies."

"Spies?!" Ness yelled. "Do we LOOK like spies?!"

"Well then, what are you."

The two looked at each other. "Uh..."

"Speak!"

"We're..." The two began to break out into a little dance. "Hobbits! We're Hobbits! We're happy, happy Hobbits! We live in holes-"

"Okay, that's enough!" Roy said, quickly covering his ears. "Now, tell me your names."

"Frodo!"

"Sam!"

Roy counted. "Two...Uh, where is Yoshi?"

"Yoshi?" Ness asked. "There was no other. You're seeing things. We set out from Rivendell with seven others. One we lost in Moria. Two were my kin. There was an Elf and a midget. And two men, Aragorn, son of Arathorn and...and...blast, who was the other guy?" Ness asked, leaning over towards Dr. Mario.

"Borry." He replied.

"Oh yes. Thanks." Ness continued, "And Boromir of Gondor."

Roy looked shocked at the two. "You were a friend of Boromir?"

"Hell no! He tired to kill me!" Ness paused. "But yes, for my part. I guess..."

The redhead sighed and looked towards the ground. "Then it would grieve you to learn that he's dead."

It was time for Dr. Mario and Ness to get shocked expressions. "OMFG LIEZZZZZZZ!" Yelled Ness. "How?! When?! Did YOU know about this?" Dr. Mario shook his head.

"As one of his friends, I'd hope you'd know...." Roy paused. "He was... my brother."

"SUPER MEGA ULTRA RARE GASP!" Dr. Mario and Ness, uh, gasped, taking a step back away from Roy. "IT CAN'T BE!"

"Search your feelings." Roy replied. "You know it to be true."

---Flashback---

Captain Falcon stood on top of a building in Osgiliath, holding a Gondorain flag. "This place!" He said to the crowd below him. "This place was once a great place to chill! And it shall be again, for it has been reclaimed!" The crowd cheered. "For Gondor!"

"For Gondor!" Repeated the Crowd.

"For Gondor!"

"For Gondor!"

"FOR GONDOR!

"FOR GONDOR!"

Captain Falcon turned and began to head towards the ground muttering, "Damn parrots..." He walked towards the crowd and up towards Roy and Crazy Hand. Captain Falcon and Roy ran to each other and gave one another a great big hug filled with love and care and all other joyful words.

"Good Speech." Roy said with a smile. "Nice and short."

Captain Falcon picked up a random mug and lifted it to the sky. "Leaves more time for drinking! Break out the ale, we should be having a FEISTA!"

"YESSS!" Cheered Crazy Hand, who promptly ran off and drank himself silly.

After a while of drinking and cheering, Captain Falcon threw his arm around Roy and said, "Remember today, Little Bro. Life was good."

Roy nodded with a smile, took a sip and turned towards the entrance. His smile quickly faded as he saw who was marching up towards them. "...Shit..."

"Hm?"

"It's...him..."

Captain Falcon's eyes fell upon the person Roy was talking about. "...Great..."

Mr. Game & Watch was making his way through the crowd, whacking random soilders in his way with his bell. "Where is Boromir, BEEP?!" He yelled, knocking out the drunken Crazy Hand.

"One moment of peace, can't he give us that?" Captain Falcon said to Roy, before heading over to he 2-D creature to stop his rein of terror. "Father!"

"There is Gondor's finest, BEEP! There is my first born, BEEP!" Mr. Game & Watch said, grabbing Captain Falcon in a hug. "I heard you almost blew up the world by yourself, BEEP!"

Captain Falcon shook his head and smiled. "No, I had help from Faramir."

Roy walked over towards the two. Mr. Game & Watch growled at the redhead and met him halfway. "Yes, but if it wasn't for HIM the city wouldn't have been taken in the first place, BEEP!"

"Our numbers were too few..." Roy whispered.

Mr. Game & Watch let go and laughed. "Oh, yes, BEEP! Waaaaay too few, BEEP!" Mr. Game & Watch then began to whack Roy over the head with his bell until he heard Captain Falcon whisper into his ear,

"You give him no credit and yet he tries to do your will!"

"BEEP!" The 2-D man let go of Roy and followed Captain Falcon into a building.

"He loves you father!" Captain Falcon told Mr. Game & Watch, who just beeped.

"I don't care about Faramir, BEEP! He's too pretty, so we gotta keep him down, BEEP!"

Captain Falcon rolled his eyes. "Oh, what is he now, Cindaroya?"

"Yes, BEEP! Yes he is, BEEP!" Captain Falcon was about to leave when Mr. Game & Watch grabbed his arm. "Listen, BEEP! Elrond of Rivendell is having a meeting, BEEP!"

"Good for him."

"It is rumored that he has found the weapon of the giant evil hand, BEEP!"

"...The one ring?"

Mr. Game & Watch nodded. "Yes, BEEP! Do your old father a favor and go get it for me, BEEP!"

"NO!" He yelled, walking out from under the building, the beeping man hot on his heels. "My place is here with my people, not in Rivendell!"

"BEEP!"

Roy took a step up. "If there is need to go to Rivendell, then... you could send me..."

Mr. Game & Watch turned around and glared at Roy. "NO, BEEP! NO, NO, NO, BEEP!"

**WHACK!**

---Later on---

Captain Falcon rode his horse out into the main square of the city and looked around. "Brother!" He looked down and saw Roy running up to him.

"Faramir? What are you doing? You know it is forbidden!"

"Shut up. I just wanted to... see you off, that's all."

Captain Falcon sighed and looked down at Roy, who had a very large bump on his head. "Remember today, little bro." He said, before he rode his horse away, never to be seen again.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Hmm. I hope I didn't do anything wrong by making Captain Falcon somewhat 'cool' in this chapter. He's always beat up, poor guy! And he's one of the best Smashers!

Captain Falcon: Show me your moves! Show me your moves! Show me your moves!

Oh, yeah, THATS the reason. Popo!

Popo: -Lifts his mallet- MAWHAHAHAHA!

BASH! BASH! BASH!


	18. The Mysterious Tiny Violin

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. What good fun! 

A/N: Hello! YES! I MADE THAT SONG UP MYSELF! AHHAHAHHAHAHAHAhaha...ha..ha..hm... no... I really didn't. And guess what?!

Cast: What?!

We've got a flame! -Holds up Cheeseisawesome's flame- We light the beacons!

Cast: YEY!

Luigi & Bowser: -Throw away their 'Will Work 4 Flames' signs.-

Thank you Mr./Mrs. Cheese. You've given me a good laugh, and you've helped to continue the story that you hate! HOW FUNNY IS THAT?! HAHA! Oh! And before I start the story, I just thought this would be funny:

'Smash Idol' Counter: I've seen 4, although one changed accounts.

Wow. NOW, I COMAND YOU TO READ ON! You don't have too... I mean, if you don't want... cause that would be mean... forcing you to do something you'd not want to do... but then again... if you're here on the 18th chapter, then you must like the story... of you're just starting to read it and... you wanna see where we are in the movie... Sorry... I'm talking a lot today...

**_Lord of the 'Figs': (SSBM Style!)  
Too Many Towers to be Two  
Chapter XVIII- The Mysterious Tiny Violin_**

---Oh boy, where are we?...---

Roy is still in his day dream, thinking about his brother when Crazy Hand floated on up to him and poked his shoulder. "Faramir, We've found the third one." He whispered. Roy nodded and walked over towards the two Hobbits.

Roy poked Ness with his sword, waking the boy. "Come with me." He commanded, dragging Ness along by the collar.

---Eh, Outside the Cave---

Roy and Ness walk across a narrow ledge, over-looking the pool that the waterfall was filling. Roy turned and pointed to the lake and whispered, "Down there."

Slowly, Ness moved up towards Roy and glanced over into the pool. He gasped in shock at what he saw. "Oh no!". What he saw was Yoshi swimming around the pond, chasing after a little fish.

"There is a dinosaur in the Forbidden Pool. We're gonna shoot it." Roy explained to Ness. He pointed towards a group of Roy Fangirl Killers (Archers), who were pointing their arrows at the poor Yoshi. "Shall I shoot?"

Ness didn't answer at first, but watched as Yoshi began to sing and dance. "_The Rock and Pool, is nice and cool, so juicy sweeeeeeeeeeet!"_ Yoshi began to slap the fish on the rock as he continued. _"Our only wish, is to catch a fish, so juicy sweeeeeeeeeeet!" _But, the fish didn't like the fact that it was getting whacked on a rock, so it began to wiggle out of Yoshi hands, which only cause the dino smack it even harder.

"Wait!" Ness said, holding up his hand. "That Dinosaur is our guide. Don't kill him. Just wait till you see his eyes!" Ness quickly ran away from Roy and went down towards the pool. He walked up slowly towards the dinosaur and began to whisper, "Here Sméagol! Come Sméagol! Sméagol! Get your ass over here!"

Yoshi turned to face Ness. "Oh. Hello Master."

"Sméagol, we've gotta leave. NOW!"

"We must go..." Yoshi paused for a second to try and understand what Ness had said. "...Now?"

"YES!"

Yoshi nodded and began to crawl towards Ness, but, out from the bushes came the evil Roy Fangirl Killers (Archers) to grab Yoshi. The Dinosaur let out a yell and began to roll around, trying to get out of the head lock they had him in. "MASTER! YOU'RE EVIL!" He yelled, just as the Roy Fangirl Killers (Archers) covered his head with a bag. Ness turned and glared at Roy, who was holding up a fan and laughing like Lady Bow.

---And we're back in the cave---

Crazy Hand was beating up on the poor Yoshi, until at last he punched him so hard, he went flying over to a rock and hit his head. "Ouch! You're evil too!" Yoshi said, pointing a finger at Crazy, then rushed under a rock and began to cry.

Roy walked over to the poor lizard and asked, "Where are you taking them?"

Yoshi didn't answer, but he kept on crying and rubbing his back. After a few more sobs, Evil Yoshi decided to talk. "Sméagol. What does it cry, Sméagol?"

"Cruel evil Roy Fangirl Killers (Archers) hurt us! Master tricked us!" Replied the sobbing Good Yoshi. Roy took a step back and began to wonder if being in the same room with this thing was safe.

"I told you. But did you listen? NO!"

Good Yoshi cried more. "Shut up. Master is our friend!"

"Heh. Some friend."

"Go away."

"NO!" Evil Yoshi slammed his fist on the ground. "They stole it from us! They must be punished."

"Stole what?" Roy asked.

Yoshi turned around and with all his might yelled, "MY PRECIOUS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Roy, out of fear, ran out of the cave with all his speed, leaving Crazy and the Roy Fangirl Killers (Archers) to deal with the crazy dinosaur.

---My my my, lots of skipping around, eh?---

Ness and Dr. Mario were both sitting together, wondering what to do. "We have to get out of here!" Dr. Mario exclaimed.

"Duh..." Replied Ness, rolling his eyes.

The doctor hobbit leaned closer towards Ness. "You can do it. Put on the ring and escape. Just this once."

"Yeah!" Ring said. "Put me on!"

"No..." Ness lowered his eyes and stared at the ground. "If I do... He'll find me..."

"And that's...bad?" Asked the Ring.

Ness didn't reply, because Roy had just entered the room, doing his 'fan-laugh' again. "Now I see. Oh-ho, now I do see indeed. I can see so clearly now, for the rain is gone. I can clearly see the bridge over troubled water..." The two hobbits exchanged confused glances, then turned back to face Roy. "Two midgets out here in the bush. A hoard of Roy Fangirl Killers (Archers) at my call. And..." He brought his sword up to Ness's neck and lifted the chain with the Ring on it. "The Ring of Power within my grasp."

"...What?!" Ness and the Ring yelled as Dr. Mario took out his handy Lord of the Rings book. He check all the pages with Faramir written on them in less then a second, which brought him to this conclusion:

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSE TO BE TEMPTED BY IT!" He yelled.

Roy gave a chuckle. "Well, yes. But maybe my dad will stop treating my like an ass once he sees his Father's Day gift this year."

"NO!" Ness yelled, running off to hide in the corner, like he always does.

"See?! Look what you've gone and done now!" Dr. Mario said with a sigh.

"Captain." The stares turned towards Crazy Hand, who had just floated into the room. "Osgiliath is under attack. They need help, sir."

"Oh, Boo-Hoo. Let me play a song for you on my tiny violin." Roy began to rub his index finger and thumb together which, mysteriously, created a lovely violin medley. But then it hit him. "Oh wait... Osgiliath. Under Attack. Bad. Whoops. Alright, prepare the Roy Fangirl Killers (Archers) to leave." The Redhead turned towards Ness and Dr. Mario. "The Ring will go to Gondor."

---Plains of Rohan---

Marth is riding on a pony. He sees Saruman's army. He gasps. Marth rides to Helm's Deep.

---Helm's Deep---

"Wait, he's alive?!" All the humans asked in unison as they watch Marth ride up the street like nothing had ever happened to him. He rode right up to the King's chamber, stopped and got off.

"HE'S ALIVE?! NOT FOR LONG! I'M SO GONNA KILL HIM!" Marth shook his head and sighed, knowing all too well who's annoying voice that was. Popo pushed himself through the crowd and up to Marth. "You... are the luckiest man ever." The midget whacked Marth over the head. "Bless you laddie!"

"Where's the king?" Asked Marth. Popo pointed towards the King's chamber and the prince headed off. Along the way he bumped into a certain elf.

"Hm, You're late." Link said, not looking up from his book. "And I bet you look even worse then ever. Oh, here. The Orcs were keeping it safe for you." Link handed Marth the Evenstar, which he gladly took with a smile, much to the dismay of Samus, who doesn't have any lines at this point in the chapter.

---Mario's Chamber---

Marth entered the king's chamber, all dramatic and stuff, like in the movies... only to see Mario sitting in his throne with a mug of ale, ten women and one male strippers by his side and a very skimpy look Nana resting on his lap. "Oh! Hello Marth! Thought you were dead, so we had a little party!"

"Here, here!" Cheered the rest of the army, who were all half drunk.

"Oh... Well, listen..." Marth told his heroic tale of frenching the horse to riding bareback across the plains of Rohan on some horse who's name isn't important. He also mentioned the very small detail, an army of 10,000 Uruk-Hai's.

"Ten Thousand?!" Mario said shocked.

"No, 10,000. Use numbers."

"OMFG LIEZZZZZZZ!"

"They will be here by nightfall."

Mario paused for a second, they gave his answer. "Let them come!"

---Whee, we're outside in Helm's Deep again---

Mario, Nana, Link, Popo and Marth were walking through the crowds of humans. "I want ever man and strong lad able to bare arms to be ready to die by nightfall." Mario told Nana.

"Yes, sir." She replied, rushing off to obey her king.

"No one has ever broken the Deeping Wall, or set foot within the Hornburg." Mario said as he and the others walked outside the main gate and looked over the plains of Rohan.

"Listen. These guys are Uruk-Hai." Popo explained. "These guys have a brain. Not very big, but it's still there."

Mario, enraged that a dwarf could doubt his judgement, simply said, "STFU j00 n00b or I will pwn u. Oh no... I'm talking L33t." Mario rushed off to find some soap to wash his mouth out with, and maybe some acid.

---Deeping Wall---

The four are walking and talking. "Saruman's forces will come and burn stuff..." Mario paused and looked around. "Wait, I forgot the rest. LINE!"

"They do not come to destroy Rohan's crops and Villages, they've come to kill it's people! Down to the last adorable child!" Marth yelled, grabbing Mario's shoulder.

"I know, I know! But look at these men! They're scared. And this sucks. So shut up."

Marth paused, the answered, "Call for aid."

"And just whoooooooooooooooooo will come?!" Mario asked. "Elves? Midgets? No one likes us Humans anymore."

"Gondor will come."

"SCREW GONDOR! We are alone..."

---Fangorn Forest---

This is a semi-new sight. DK in his Treebeard robot and marched out into a clearing with one single rock in the middle. "The Ents have not bothered with the wars of Men and Wizards for a long time."

"Really..." Luigi answered.

"Amazing." Falco added.

Both were clearly bored to tears.

DK gave a chuckle. "But now, something is about to happen, that has not happened in an age. An Entmoot."

"What that?" Asked Falco, sitting up.

"'Tis a gathering."

Luigi scratched his head. "Gathering of what?"

DK and Falco looked at each other, then back at Luigi. "Well... You most certainly aren't the sharpest twig in the forest, aren't you?" DK asked with a laugh.

"What's that suppose to mean?!" Luigi yelled. Just as he yelled, more Ents began to march out of the woods, moaning like DK. "Oh. Ents. I get it now."

DK placed the two down on the ground and said, "Now, my little hobbits, the Ents will decide if we're going to war!"

---Helm's Deep---

The men, women and child of Edoras were now being forced into the caves like a pack of animals. Marth, Link and Popo were making their way through the bunch of humans, trying to get back to Mario's Chamber. "Hey, uh, Aragorn... Ya gonna rest? You're sorta... dead... at the moment." Link asked, as he carried Popo on his shoulders through the crowd.

"Aragorn!"

Marth sighed and shook his head. "Great. Here we go..."

Samus ran up to Marth and began to shake him back and forth. "What the hell is this?! I'm being sent into the caves with the woman and children! I want to fight beside you!" She pleaded.

"I don't command that." Marth answered, getting dizzy.

"But you don't command the others to stay by your side!" Said Samus. "They fight with you because they don't want to be parted from you!" She stopped shaking Marth. "Because... Because they love you." Judging by the looks on Link, Popo, and Marth's faces, she figured she had better just head into the caves. "Sorry..." She muttered, slipping away.

"Aw, guys, I never knew you cared." Marth turned and smiled. "GROUP HUG!"

---Glittering Caves---

Yadda, yadda, yadda. Not much going on here. A little boy gets taken away. And Old man gets taken away. Another kid is taken away. A young man is taken away. All in slow motion. Samus shook her head as she watched the women and young children crying. She could only do one thing: rub her thumb and index finger together, creating that soothing mysterious violin music.

---Helm's Deep Armory---

The men were getting their swords, axes and other random stuff that could be used as a weapon. One kid even got a frying pan, which as shown to us by Dr. Mario, can be a very useful item in battle. "Look at these old people... and little brats. These are not men." Said Marth after overlooking the troops.

Popo placed his mallet/ax on the ground and rested upon it. "Most have seen too many winters."

"Or too few." Link added. "Look at them. They're scared. I can see it in their eyes." The humans turned towards Link and glared at the Elf. Link, not one for liking glares, changed over to Elvish. _"And they should be."_ He finished. "_300 against 10,000?!"_

Marth answered, _"Well, they stand more of a chance here then they do at Edoras."_

_"Aragorn... They're all gonna die!"_

"THEN I SHALL DIE AS ONE OF THEM!" Marth yelled in English.

And uneasy silence fell upon the armory, which could only be broken by Popo, as he slowly began to rub his thumb and index finger together, filling the room with the sweet sounds of a violin.

---Mario's Chamber---

Mario stood in the center of his chamber as Nana walked up to him, holding his armor. "I've sent all the men to their deaths. Are you ready?" Mario nodded, and Nana began to suit up his armor.

"Who am I Gamling?" Mario asked.

It didn't take Nana too long to respond. "A Crazy King who thinks 11 year olds can hold axes."

Mario smiled. "And do you trust you crazy king who thinks 11 year olds can hold axes?"

"...Not really..."

---Fangorn Forest---

DK and his new Ent friends are all standing around the stone, moaning and groaning to each other. The sun had already disappeared and it was now dark. "Man, they've been at it for hours!" Falco complained, walking around the clearing, bored.

"They've gotta have decided on something." Luigi suggested positively.

"Uh, nope." DK answered. He turned around and faced the two hobbits. "We've only just finished saying, 'Good Morning'."

"But it's nighttime already!" Falco yelled, clearing pissed off.

"Don't be hasty." Replied the old DK before going back to his moans and groans.

---Helm's Deep---

Its night here too. All the humans are up, scared to death. Marth was sitting on the stairs, watching the guys get ready to be killed. He turned towards one little kid and said, "Yo. Give me your sword." The child did as he was told. Marth looked over the sword, then asked, "What's your name?"

"Haleth, son of Hammy, my lord." Replied the kid.

"Oh...so that's why you look like a Sandbag." Marth said with a laugh, playing with the kids sword.

Haleth sighed. "The men say there is no hope and that we won't last the night."

Marth handed the kid his sword back and placed a hand on his shoulder. "There is always hope!"

---Helm's Deep Armory---

"Are all the other men out of the Armory?" Marth asked, peering his head into the room. When he saw no other male, he quickly ran over to the chainmail and got dressed with cool dramatic cuts.

But then, something wonderful happened. Link handed Marth his sword. And then, as they say, Marth's heart grew two sizes that day. "Sorry about before." Link apologized. "I shouldn't have given up hope."

"No prob, Lego." Marth replied with a smile.

"Argh!" The two turned to see Popo, walking into the Armory, trying to get his chainmail on. "It's won't fit!" He yelled, before dropping it to the floor, revealing that it was ten sizes too large for him. "...It's a little tight across the chest."

DOO-DOO, DOO-DOO!

The trio turned in shock. "That was no Orc Horn!" Link said as they three dashed up the stairs.

---Gates of Helm's Deep---

Woo-hoo! Here come the Elves! The humans, with expression that, if put into words would be: 'There is a God!', cheered as they watched the Elves walk up through the streets and ending at Mario's chamber. Of course, Mario was there to greet them. "What the hell is this?! I know for a fact this wasn't in the book." The King said, shocked.

Young Link, wearing all sorts of medals and stuff, walked up to Mario and smiled. "Hey. I bring word from Elrond of Rivendell. Funny thing, since I don't even live there. Ahem. "An alliance once existed between Elves and Men. Long ago, we fought and died together. We have come to honor that allegiance." Translation: I brought about 1,000 elves to help."

"Mini-Link!" Marth exclaimed cheerfully. He rushed up to Young Link and hugged the Elf. "You are soooooooo welcome here."

Young Link smiled and nodded. "We are proud to fight alongside Men once more."

To Be Continued...

Readers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

A/N: Phew. I was able to put off Helm's Deep for another Chapter. -Ahem- Anyway, here is the scoop. I'm sorry to say, this story won't be updating for a little while.

Readers: OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sorry. But the reason this story won't update that much is because I'm busy making a Survivor story with the first 12 Smashers, plus Four guests. I've already finished Day 1-3 and I'm going to finish up Day's 4-6 before I even think about posting it. So, look for that coming. I will still work on this story, no doubt. First story EVER to break 100 reviews. Thanks, by the way!

Oh. Funny thing. Between the time I started this story and the time I ended, The Smash Idol Counter went up.

'Smash Idol' Counter: 5

Heh. Survivor owns Idol. Back-stabbing and lying over crude, yet funny, remarks any day. Since we broke 100 reviews, I'll give you guys a small preview of the soon-to-be Survivor Story! This is me only going by memory, but I know it's around the same lines! START DA PREVIEW!

"Today, these 16 Smashers will start a journey that will change their lives forever." Master Hand said into the camera. "We will head across the ocean and shipwreck these guys on the Island I bought named 'MasterHandIsDaBomb'."

"...Huh?" All the Smashers asked in unison, turning towards Master Hand.

"Erm, I mean, We're taking them on a free trip to the Bahamas'." The group nodded and went back to talking. Master Hand cleared his throat and whispered. "Once there, they will be forced to survivor together for 39 days. Every 3 Days they'll meet and vote one of their own members out of the tribe! But don't tell them that!"

"Kay, I won't." Crazy replied. He was holding in the hand his video camera, which he was now taping Master Hand with. "But, I have a question. When did YOU buy an Island? I never knew you could even BUY Islands..."

"Uh... Internet?"

The End of Preview.


	19. Thunder and Booms and Clanks, Oh My!

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings. 

A/N:...

Link standing in the center of the room, holding a lightsaber with Peach at his side looking like Princess Leia. Dead aliens and Wireframes were all across the floor.

Link: Oh, hello there. Why the author was off writing that crappy Survivor fic, we were attacked...

Peach: Link! Use the force!

Link: Alright-Uses the force to trigger a flashback-

(A few days ago)

Jigglypuff: Sir! Someone set us up the bomb!

Link-Shocked- What you say?

Jigglypuff: We get transmission!

Link: Main screen turn on.

Cats-Appears on the screen-

Link: It's you!

Cats: How are you gentlemen ! All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction.

Link: What you say?

Cats: You have no chance of escape, make your time. Ha ha ha ha!

Link: Move Zig!

(Back to this time)

Link: Yeah, so... we had a big Star Wars fight and we won... see? Lots of stuff happens while you guys were away.

**_Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style)  
Too Many Towers to be Two  
Chapter XIX- Thunder and Booms and Clanks, Oh my!_**

(Helm's Deep...Little dashes don't work anymore...)

Well its still night here. The Elves were lined up across the Deeping Wall and the Humans were all placed within the Hornburg. Popo was busying jumping up and down to try and see over the very large wall. "Argh, you could have picked a better spot..." Little Popo complained to Link, who just smirked knowing that he just scored a point.

Off in the distance, the thousands of Uruk-Hai's could be seen marching up. Marth took these last few moments of peace to have a little conversation with Link and Popo. "We're gonna die, right?" He asked.

"Hm, looks that way." Link said, peering out into the darkness.

"Whatever luck you live by, lets hope it lasts the night." Popo added with a smile.

Thunder! Boom!

The trio jumped for a second, then remembered that thunder was just mother natures way of cheering them on...or trying to scare them away, one of the above. "Your friends are with you Aragorn." Link said.

Popo gulped and added once more, "Lets hope we last the night..."

Thunder! Boom!

Rain began to fall from the sky. Mario looked upwards and growled. "Figures..."

(Glittering Caves)

"Aaaah!" Screamed the people. Except Samus. She was busy playing her guitar around seven lit candles and singing Kumbaya.

(Helm's Deep)

The Uruk-Hai continue to march towards Helm's Deep. One Uruk-Hai jumped onto a rock and let out a loud, 'Aroooooo'. Marth began to walk up and down the rows of Elves. _"Show no mercy, cause you guys ain't gonna get any!"_

"STOP MARCHING!" Yelled Uruk-Hai Troop #8,503. And so the Uruk-Hai's did.

Popo was still jumping up and down to try and get a look at what was going on. "Hm, shall I tell you what's going on out there, or would you like a box?" Link asked.

"Box, please."

"Okay." Link turned and dashed off with his elf-like speed to find himself a box for the midget.

"COMMENCE THE BEATING OF YOUR CHESTS!" Yelled #8,503. And so, the Uruk-Hai's began to beat their metal chests.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

Marth drew out his sword.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

The Humans readied their bows.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

Popo jumped to see.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

Link returned with a box.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

The people in the Glittering Caves were now dancing to the rhythm.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

"Hm..." Marth said, rubbing his chin.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

"How much longer are they gonna do this?" Asked Popo, who was now reading his ax/mallet.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

Link shrugged.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

Mario stood there with his leg planted firmly on a stone block.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

Marth tapped his finger impatiently.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

Popo and Link were now playing Yu-Gi-Oh!.

Clank! Clank! Clank!

"WILL SOMEONE FIRE THE DAMN ARROW ALREADY!" Marth screamed at the top of his lungs, scaring a Old Man who accidentally fired his arrow and it flew right into Uruk-Hai Troop #4,812.

"Oooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuh..." Moaned #4,812 before he fell to the ground dead. This of course, pissed of the Uruk-Hai's.

"WE WEREN'T DONE YET!"

"DARN YOU HUMANS!"

"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!" Yelled #8,503. With that, all of the Uruk-Hai's let out a group roar and started to run at Helm's Deep.

"So it begins." Mario said calmly, while busy picking his nose.

"_PREPARE TO FIRE!"_ Yelled Marth in Elvish, lifting his sword.

The Elves, Young Link and Link all drew back their strings and readied their arrows. "10 points if you hit them neck, 30 if you hit them under the arm." Link explained as the Uruk-Hai's charged closer.

_"FIRE!"_

The Elves all fired their arrows at the charging Uruk-Hai, killing most of the ones in the front line. "Did they hit anything?" Popo asked.

"Give them a volley." Mario told Nana over in the Hornburg.

Nana nodded and raised her hand. "FIRE!" She yelled.

"FIRE!" Yelled the One-Eyed dude that you only notice the second time you watch through the movie.

And so, the Humans let their arrows go, killing more the stupid Uruk-Hai's charging blindly into battle. "Keep firing!" Marth commanded and the Elves behind the Deeping Wall began to shoot, killing even more Uruk-Hai's.

This made Popo angry. "Send them too me, come on! This isn't fair! You!" He pointed a finger at Link. "These kills don't count!"

"BURN DIZ CITY TO ZE GROUND!" Yelled Uruk-Hai #12 in a cheap French accent and wearing a light purple coat. "Show them whatz happenz when they mezz with ze union!"

Well, The Uruk-Hai's were starting to realize that they were just hurting themselves by charging blindly to the stone wall. So some of them took out cross-bows and began firing back, killing some of the Elves on the wall.

"OW!" Yelled the Elves as they fell to the ground, dead.

Now that the arrows had slowed down, the Uruks started to raise up ladders. "LADDERS!" Marth yelled, warning the Elves.

"Good!" Popo cheered.

"Swords! Swords!" Marth commanded as the Elves and Young Link all took out their pretty elf swords. Good thing too, cause the ladders have landed and here come the Uruk-Hai's!

"Mawhahaha!" Laughed the evil Uruks as they jumped off the ladders swing their swords around. Popo, however, surprised one and whacked him in the chest before the poor guy could even get off the ladder.

"Heh! No Mawhaing for you mister." Popo laughed, then turned around to join the Elves in fighting.

Swords clashed, Arrows whizzed through the air and Elves screamed as the sword battle on the Deeping Wall continued. Young Link, being so tiny, was able to jump around stabbing any Uruk-Hai he wanted too. "Ha!" He laughed. "Now who's the one stepping on who!"

Marth swung his sword low and chopped off the leg of Uruk-Hai Troop #482, then stabbed the poor guy in his chest. Link had given up on his arrows and was now killing people with his sword/daggers, whatever you picture him with and little Popo was also making his midget size a valuable assent to the fight. He slid between Uruk-Hai Troop #9,820's legs, scaring the Uruk, then whacked him right in the chest. "HAHA! Lego!" Link turned around to face Popo. "I've got 2 already!"

Link smiled. "I'm on 17."

"What! 2, wait I mean 200!" Popo quickly turned around and attacked another Uruk-Hai.

Link shot another duo of Uruk-Hai's as they climbed up the ladder, then turned around and announced, "19!"

So pretty much, The Elves, Marth, Link and Popo and fighting the Uruk-Hai's, who just keep coming up the ladders...not looking too good...

(Fangorn Forest)

"I'm so bored..." Falco muttered, lying back on the ground.

"Yeah, me too." Luigi agreed, staring up into space."

Just then, the Ents stopped their moaning and DK turned around to face the two. "Ahem." The two hobbits looked up at DK. "We have just agreed..." His sentence trailed off as the poor ape began to fall asleep.

Falco and Luigi exchanged glances. "Uh, yes?" Falco asked.

"A-Wha? Oh...I have told your names to the Entmoot and we have just agreed..." DK paused for a second. "That you are not Orcs." The other Ents nodded in agreement.

"Well, that's good." Luigi said with a smile.

(Helm's Deep)

Popo stood on the edge of the wall between two ladders filled with Uruk-Hai's, swinging his ax/mallet back and forth between the two of them. "17!" He said as he hit one off. "18!" He yelled, hitting another Uruk-Hai off the other ladder. "19!" Whack! "20!" Whack! "21!" Whack! "22 and," Whack! "23!"

Meanwhile, over on the Hornburg, Uruk-Hai's with shields began to make their way up the Causeway. Marth noticed this and yelled to the remaining Elf archers, "The Causeway!" The Elves turned and began to shoot the Uruk-Hai's as they continued to make their way up the Causeway.

"Heh. Is this all you can muster, Saruman?" Mario said with a smirk, scaring the already scared Nana. "Cause if it is, let me laugh. HA! HAHA! HAHAHA!"

But down by the Deeping Wall, Ganondorf's plan known as, 'PWNZ DA N00BZ!111!1!one!shift!1!' was taking place. The Uruk-Hai's began to fill up the small water drain with bombs, then they all cleared a path for one little Uruk-Hai who was running hold a torch.

"Yes! Look at me!" Yelled Uruk-Hai Troop #6,023. "I've got the torch! Oh yeah! Olympics of the 3rd Age!"

Marth took notice of this. "Gasp! Lego! Bring him down!"

Link turned from his fighting and shoot the Uruk-Hai. Funny, as his arrows seem to be able to kill the Uruk-Hai's wearing the thick armor, but not this guy. Nooo, #6,023 takes two arrows in his chest and he was still running...

"I WILL NOT DIEEEE!" Yelled #6,023 as he jumped into the drain...with the bombs...

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

Well, there goes the Deeping Wall. Elves and Uruk-Hai's are sent flying and pieces of rubble come crashing down onto the Uruk-Hai forces. Mario turned and stared at now destroyed wall. "OMFG NOEZZZZZZZ!"

(Glittering Caves)

"Aaaah!" Screamed the people. Except Samus. She was busy holding a yoga class with her friends to try and find their 'center'.

(Helm's Deep)

The Uruk-Hai's took this chance to start charging into Helm's Deep. Mario stared in horror, but then noticed something out of the corner of his eye. The Uruk-Hai's on the Causeway were now ramming into the door with a battering ram. "Uh-oh...The Deeping Wall is destroyed, Marth is most likely dead, The Uruk-Hai's are gonna try and break down the door..." He turned towards Nana. "You have any ideas?"

Nana gulped. "Nope..."

"...Shit..."

To Be Continued...

A/N-Walks in with Purple Monkey- ...What happened here? I leave you guys to go write a Survivor story for a few weeks and you complete destroy the place!

Link: Cats attacked.

Purple Monkey: The Musical?


	20. ARAGORN!

Disclaimer: LotR is not mine. Neither is SSBM. 

A/N: Hello everyone! I got some questions!

Alright, first off, Yes in the movie they are called Halflings. They are also called Halflings in the book. They are also known as the Little Folk, Shirelings... And other fancy names.

Second, my amazing survivor story...well...I've finished up to Day 4 and I'm already half-way through Day 5. It's harder then I thought it would be. Too much talking and eating rice. And that gets boring.

And yes, Mewtwo shall pwnz the cast in the next story. For a full chapter. Then it all goes down hill, right Mewtwo Fans?

Well, lets get on with the story! YEY!

**_Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style)  
Too Many Towers to be Two  
Chapter XX- ARAGORN!_**

"BRACE THE GATES!"

(Helm's Deep)

On Mario's command, a bunch of humans dashed forward and threw themselves onto the wooden door to try and stop the pounding of the Uruk-Hai's battering ram. Of course, it wasn't really working. With each pound, the humans were sent flying, but like little dumb animals, they quickly run back up and do it again.

"Geez, this isn't working." Mario said, shaking his head as he watched them run up to the gate over and over. He also took notice of the humans who were busy throwing rocks and spears at the Uruks from the top of the gate. "Oh yeah, like THATS going to work."

(Deeping Wall)

Marth opened his eyes and stood up after he was nearly blown to death when the wall exploded. "Where am I?" He turned and saw a large group of Uruk-Hai's marching towards him. "...Oh."

"ARAGORN!"

Marth turned and watched as Popo, jumped off what was left of the Deeping Wall and began to attack the Uruks marching in. He was able to kill about three before they just pushed him down and into a small pond of water. "Fire!" Marth commanded. From behind him, a large squad of Elves fired their arrows, killing nearly every Uruk-Hai in the front few rows. Marth lifted his sword and yelled, "CHARGE!" As he rushed towards the bunch of ugly Monkey Looking men, followed by the Elves.

All around Helm's Deep, Uruks, Humans and Elves were busy clashing swords with their foes. Marth was enjoying himself just a little too much as he continued to cut off the heads of any monster thing that ran near him. Link noticed that Marth was starting to get surrounded so he was all,

"ARAGORN!"

So Link quickly grabbed a Uruk-Hai's shield, threw it to the ground and began to ride it down the stairs, shooting as he went. And just like that, Link had invented snowboarding...just without the snow.

Marth dashed forwarded and pulled Popo out of the water while Link was busy showing off his elf skills. "You're a real idiot, you know that."

"Hush." Popo replied, coughing up water.

(Fangorn Forest)

"AHEM!" DK barked, waking up the two sleeping hobbits.

"Huh? What is it?" Luigi asked.

DK cleared his throat and said, "The Ents will not be going to war."

"Wait...WHAT!" Falco yelled. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! YOU'RE SUPOSE TO SAY, 'TO ISENGARD'! WE EVEN HAVE A SONG ABOUT IT!"

"We do?" Asked DK and Luigi in unison.

Falco nodded and began marching in place. "To Isengard! To Isengard!..." He glanced upwards to try and remember the words. "Uh...Lalalala, Isengard!"

DK was not pleased. "I'm sorry little ones. Your part in this tale is over. I'll drop you guys off at the edge of the forest. Now get ready to leave!"

The duo sighed and walked away. "Hm, maybe Treebeard is right!" Luigi said, trying to look on the bright side. "We've got that happy green shire place, remember?"

"But the fires of Isengard will spread!" Reminded Falco. "And fire likes to burn happy green places." Falco walked back towards the Ents, leaving Luigi to think about something to do.

(Helm's Deep)

Link reached into his quiver to pull out another arrow, but noticed he had used them all up. "Oh. Out of arrows." So he took out his sword/daggers and began to stab and slice the Uruk-Hai's charging at him.

"ARAGORN!"

"I'm very popular today." Marth said, turning towards the Hornburg.

"FALL BACK TO THE KEEP!" Yelled Mario. "GET YOUR MEN OUT OF THERE!"

"Yo! Fall back to the keep!" Marth yelled in Elvish. Following his command, the Elves began to dash up the stairs and towards the Hornburg. "Haldir!"

"Yes?" Young Link asked as he withdrew his sword from an Uruk-Hai.

"Fall back to the keep!"

Young Link nodded and began to yell, "Fall back! I guess we're losing!"

Now almost every Elf began to run back. But Popo refused to move and continued to keep hacking away at the Uruks. Being so very nice, Link and another Elf grabbed Popo by his wrists and began to drag the poor dwarf away. "Aaaaaaaah! What are you doing! What are we stopping for!"

Young Link continued to fight while yelling at his troops to hurry. Just as he killed Uruk-Hai Troop #9,192, another Uruk-Hai troop snuck up behind him and stabbed him right in the chest. "OOF!" Yelled the little elf. With what small energy he had left, he then attacked and killed the trooper that had stabbed him. However, he didn't plan on Uruk-Hai Troop #107 coming up behind him and bringing his sword deep into his back.

"HALDIR!" Yelled Marth as he began to run up to the dying elf. So, for Young Link, the world was going in slow motion. He could only stare at the dead bodies of his Elven friends as he fell to the ground, dead, just as Marth ran up to him. "No...you're not suppose to die!" He squeezed his fists tight and yelled up towards the sky, "DAMN YOU PETER JACKSON!"

"Oh, he wasn't suppose to die?" Uruk-Hai Troop #107 asked. "Dude...I'm like...so sorry. I didn't know." Marth stood up and ran towards the edge of the wall. "NO! DON'T DO IT! YOU STILL HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!"

"I HAVE NO MORE REASONS TO LIVE!" Marth said, placing his hand to his forehead. "Good bye, cruel world!" And so, Marth jumped off the Deeping Wall, but he made sure to grab onto a ladder and pull it down with him, smashing some poor Uruk-Hai's who's numbers we'll never know. "...Oops..."

(Hornburg)

Uh-oh! The Uruk-Hai's have at last broken a hole in the gate and ran right up to it with crossbows, firing at the defenseless humans. Quickly, however, the Humans began to fire back, killing some of the Uruks. Mario noticed this and quickly drew his sword. "To the gate! Draw your swords!" He said as he headed towards the gate, followed by Nana, who now had her sword ready.

(Deeping Wall)

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Yelled Marth as he began to run up the stairs, being chased by a pack of very angry Uruk-Hai's.

(Hornburg)

Mario and Nana pushed themselves towards the front of the humans, both killing Uruk-Hai's that were sticking their heads through the broken gate. Nana swung her blade and killed on Uruk just as another one reached its arm in and grabbed the poor girl by her throat. Mario, being the hero he is, quickly chopped the arm off and began to laugh. "Take that!"

"OW!" Yelled Uruk-Hai Troop #78, who then picked up a spear and stabbed Mario deep in the chest. "Ha! Thats what you get for messing with the-" His sentence will never be finished, because Nana quickly jabbed the poor guy in the face with her blade. Once she had a moment to move, she grabbed Mario and began to push back through the crowd.

"We can not hold them." Nana stated. "We're losing!"

Just then, Mario had an idea. He had taken the break between chapters to go off set and watch some TV. He turned to Nana and asked, "It's-a time to use-a the blue tortoise shell, no?"

"Do it, you magnificent stereotypical bastard."

Mario reached into his back pocket and pulled out a blue Koopa shell. Quickly the king plumber tossed the shell over the gate and the two watched as it found its way around each Uruk-Hai and quickly speed off into the distance. "...Oh, that's right, it goes after the leader." Mario said with a smile. "Whoops." Just then, Marth and Popo decided to stroll on by and noticed that the gate was nearly destroyed. "I've got an idea...

ARAGORN!"

Marth turned and looked right at Mario's face. "You don't need to yell, I'm right here."

"Oh. Listen, could you be a dear and hold off the Uruk-Hai's for a while?" Mario asked. At that moment, the gate began to snap even more, letting some more of those scary monsters in.

"How long do you need?" Marth asked as he and Popo began to head towards the gate.

"As long as you can give me or till you die a sad death. Which ever comes first." Marth nodded and he grabbed the dwarf Popo and headed down another pathway. "Right then. TIMBERS!"

(Causeway)

Marth and Popo walked out onto a ledge to the left of the Causeway, where the Uruk-Hai's were still trying to blow into the gate. Popo gripped his ax/mallet and laughed. "Ooooh, come on! Let's go! Let's go!" He said, hopping up and down.

Marth looked over towards the bridge. "It's a long way."

Popo also took another glance over the gap. "Oh...you're right...Um...you'regoingtohavetotossme." He said quickly.

"What?" Marth asked with a smile of pure evil inching its way onto his face.

"I said you're going to have to toss me! I'm an Ice Climber. I can jump up, but I can't jump to the side."

"DWARF-TOSSING TIME!"

Marth reached over to grabbed Popo, and as (what he thought were) his last words he muttered, "Don't tell the Elf."

"I'll think about it."

And with that, Marth grabbed Popo by his collar and threw the dwarf off to the bridge. Once he landed, Marth gave a mighty leap himself and landed next to the midget and the duo began to swing their sharp children's toys at the Uruk-Hai's, killing some but mostly pushing them off. Mario smiled when he saw this. "Great! Let's hurry and get the wood!"

Meanwhile, the Uruk-Hai's were putting their next plan into action. They began to load up giant crossbows and started to fire them at the Hornburg. The cross bolt hooked onto the wall the Uruks began to lift up even more ladders with about fifty Uruk-Hai's on each. Link, who happened to be on the Hornburg with some new arrows, quickly shot one at the rope holding a ladder. The ladder began to fall back and the Uruk-Hai's let out a scream before they all popped. "Ha! That's fifty easy!" Link said with a smirk, but then remembered Popo's rules of fighting. "Oh yeah, that only counts as one. Gr..."

Back on the Causeway, Popo and Marth were still busy holding off the Uruk-Hai's from reaching the gate.

"ARAGORN!"

"STOP!" Marth yelled as the duo turned around to look at Mario. The hole in the gate was now repaired with wood and Mario was about to put the last timber on.

"Get out of there!"

"How!" Popo asked, realizing that they can't get back to the ledge they jumped off of.

"That's your problem!" And with that, Mario closed up the hole leaving the two on the Causeway.

Link made his way over to the wall of the Hornburg and tossed them a rope. "Here guys!" Marth grabbed onto Popo and then took the rope as Link began to pull it up. "Um, I could use some help here!"

"I'll help!" Samus offered, who began to help Link pull up the rope, but was later painted out of the picture.

Even with Marth and Popo now joining the humans, the Uruk-Hai's were just too large in numbers. More came up on ladders while some came through the hole in the Deeping Wall. Mario was starting to realize how stupid he was to not call out for help. "Hm, do you think we can still win?"

"No." Replied Nana quickly, who was busy fighting a Uruk-Hai.

"Alright. Pull everyone back." Mario turned and began to run towards the hall. "And have a bath waiting for me, will you?"

Nana sliced the Uruk she was fighting then began to yell, "FALL BACK! FALL BACK!"

Link, Marth and Popo, all who were busy fighting their own battles, turned and shrugged figuring that the three of them could take out the entire army if they felt like it, but it would have been better not to make the King angry. So together, the three of them, along with all the remaining humans began to run into hall of Helm's Deep, just as the Uruk-Hai's broke down the gate and began to over-run the place. Doesn't look to good, does it?

(Fangorn Forest)

DK was carrying Falco and Luigi through the forest. "Okay guys, I'm gonna leave you on the edge of the western boarders. You can make your way up north from there to your home."

"Whatever." Falco muttered, staring off into the distance.

Luigi figured that now was the best time to put his plan into action. "Wait! Stop!"

"Okay! Okay!" DK halted the costume. "What is it? Did you forget your hat?"

"No. But can you take us south?"

"WHAT!" Yelled DK. "South, that would lead you past Isengard."

Luigi smiled. "Yup. Listen to my logic. If we're closer to danger, we're father from harm. It's the last thing he'll expect."

"That doesn't make any sense... but then again, you are very small." DK's logic was also amazing. "Perhaps you're right." And with that, DK turned around and began to march south. "I always liked going south. It feels like you're going down hill."

"You idiot!" Falco whispered as he hit Luigi's leg. "We're gonna be captured! AGAIN!"

"Nope." Luigi smirked to himself. "Not this time."

(Osgiliath)

Roy and his Roy Fangirl Killers (Archers) were making there way through the forest along with there new little friends, Ness, Dr. Mario and Yoshi. Crazy Hand pointed into the distance. "Look! Osgiliath burns! Mordor has come. Roy announced.

"Yo, listen pretty boy." The redhead turned to face Ness. "The ring won't save Gondor, dude. It hasn't done anything good all 20 chapters."

"YEAH!" Yelled the Ring.

Ness smiled. "So, will you let me go now?"

"No."

Crazy Hand floated back and grabbed onto Ness and began to push him forward. "FARAMIR! YOU MUST LET ME GOOOO!"

"Shut up." Crazy said, pushing Ness to the ground.

"Ow. Hey, that wasn't nice!" Ness whined as he fell on his side.

"No, it wasn't. And neither will this." The giant hand pushed the boy and Ness began to roll down the rocky hill.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- OW! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- OW!"

('Ness Getting Hurt' Scoreboard: 9)

(Fangorn Forest)

"And then this little family of field mice used to climb up and tickle me! HAHA! It's so cute if-" DK stopped his story as he and the two hobbits came out into open. "What the hell happened here!" The entire country side was burnt and not a single tree remained standing. "Many of these trees were my friends."

Luigi patted the Treebeard costume's head. "I'm sorry about this."

DK's eyes fell upon Isengard. "Saruman! A wizard kitty should know better!" In his rage, DK let out a long scream that seem to scare the entire forest. "There is no curse in Elvish, Entish or the tongues of Men for this treachery."

Just then a large rumble was heard. Luigi and Falco turned to the left to see the entire Fangorn Forest moving. "The tree's are...moving?" Luigi asked in a confused and shocked tone.

"What are you high?" DK asked as he also turned. "Oh. Oh right, they do that some times. Just ignore them. Our business is with Isengard tonight." Ents began to march out of the woods and began to walk down the hill towards Isengard. "Come my friends! The Ents are going to war."

"See?" Luigi whispered to Falco. "I'm not as stupid as you think."

But just then DK announced, "It is likely that we go to our doom."

"Yeah." Falco rolled his eyes. "Real smart."

Luigi let out a nervous laugh. "He's just kidding! ...Right?"

"Maybe. But come, let us go!" DK joined the other Ents and began to march towards Isengard. "The Last March of the Ents!"

To Be Continued...

A/N: Okay, that wasn't the funniest chapter, but it's hard to put humor in darning big fights. Anyway, the next chapter is the last chapter of Too Many Towers! Oh No! Then all we have in RoaKwowaJ. O.o Anyway, thanks for all your reviews! I'll get started on the next chapter and Survivor story really soon!


	21. When all else fails, use the inspiration...

Disclaimer: Not mine, d00d. 

A/N: -Stares at the new rating system- ...Kaaaaaay... Man, sure has been going down hill these last two years. Does anyone else remember back in the day...

Flavors? (Mint is the best.)  
Pictures in Profiles for free? (I had a picture of Luigi)  
The NC-17 Rating? (The 'Sexy' Rating, which is now R I guess)  
People used 'Lemon' and 'Lime' in their description? (I dunno if thats still going on, but I haven't seen it in a while.  
Script Formats were found nearly everywhere? (Script Format is the best.)  
The new Genres? (Parody is the best.)  
The protest for a 'Yaoi/Yuri' rating? (It wasn't all that big...but I remember it)  
The Day that put Chapters in Stories! (What an amazing day that was. No more losing a story! -Remembers looking for storys with Part One/Two/Three/Ect in the title)  
When we could only have 30ish Favorite Authors? (Mawhahaha!)

Aaaaaah, those were the days. Oh...AND I'M SORRY ABOUT THE WAIT! I just got tied up with this Online Survivor Game I've been playing. (Go Calamar!) One good thing is: It's given me ideas for my Survivor Story, which Chapter 3 is now, after 2 months, PAST THE REWARD CHALLENGE! Very soon, they'll be two amazingly amazing storys for you to read every month it updates XD. Enjoy.

**_Lord of the Rings: (SSBM Style)  
Two Many Towers to be Two  
Chapter XXI- When all else fails, use the inspirational speech._**

(Osgiliath)

Roy and his Roy Fangirl Killers (Archers) were pushing Ness, Dr. Mario and Yoshi through the half destroyed city of Osgiliath, trying to avoid being hit by falling rocks. Except Ness, who seems to be going out of his way to get hit by rubble. "Wow this place is a mess." Ness said, rubbing his head after it was whacked by a rock.

"Yeah. You can thank my brother for that." Said Roy looking around. "I wonder why we're even fighting to say these ruins..."

"FOR BALIN!" Yelled Dr. Mario, who in return received stares from Roy and Ness. "...I've been playing too many Lord of the Rings games..."

"FARAMIR!" Crazy Hand yelled as he rushed over to Roy.

"What do you want?"

Crazy Hand was panting heavily after running the full two feet from his post to Roy. "One...Second..." He took in a deep breath and began. "The Orcs have taken eastern shore. The city will soon be overrun."

"Thats no good."

Ness let out a gasp and turned towards Mordor, which was, luckily them, located adjacent to Osgiliath. "The Hand...It's almost on top of me!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Ness turned to see Crazy Hand running away crying. "Great, now you've done it." Roy said rolling his eyes. "He is very sensitive about his handiness."

"Oh...Sorry."

Roy pushed the Dr. Mario and Ness forward into the hands of another solider. "Take them to my crazy/pryo/very scary father. Tell him Faramir sends an early fathers day gift."

As the solider began to walk away with the two, Dr. Mario turned around and yelled, "Do you want to know what happened to Boromir?"

"Sure."

"The Ring drove your brother mad! And he tried to kill Frodo even after he swore to protect him."

Roy laughed. "Oh, no, that sounds like how he acts everyday. Hey, is there something wrong with him?" He asked, pointing at Ness.

Ness was starting to go all buggy-eyed and stuff and stared to stare up at the sky. "They're here..."

"...Great...The Ring has taken hold of him..." Dr. Mario sighed. "...Again..."

"..." Ring said nothing.

Ness continued to stare up at the sky. "They've come..."

A horrible screech was heard in the background. Roy looked upwards and gasped. "Oh no. The Nazgûls have arrived!"

And as Roy said that, the dark shadow of the flying dragon past over the group, along with a laughing Ringwraith #4. "Hello everyone!" Said Ringwraith #4 to the camera. "I'm looking for the ring. Can you find the ring?" Freeze frame of Roy, Ness and Dr. Mario.

Readers: -Point at Ness-

"Very Good!"

Roy quickly pushed Ness and Dr. Mario behind a wall. "Stay here and don't move."

"Like he's going to listen!" Dr. Mario said as he watched Ness slowly begin to move away as Roy left.

(Helm's Deep)

The Hornburg has been completely over run by the Uruk-Hai's. They were chanting victory phases and putting up flags that bore the white paw of Mewtwo. Over by Mario's Chamber, a group of Uruk-Hai's were busy ramming the door to break it down and kill what small remaining Elves and Humans survived.

(Mario's Chamber)

Link, Marth, Popo and the Humans were running around the chamber getting anything they could, and then place it against the door. Mario sighed as he watched their attempts to save the chamber. "The fortress is taken. It's over! OVEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

Marth walked up to Mario and whacked him on the head. "You said this fortress will not fall as long as your men defended it."

"Well that had more meaning back then."

(Glittering Caves)

"Aaaah!" Screamed the people. Except Samus. She was busy playing her Nintendo DS and Metriod Prime Hunters demo.

(Mario's Chamber)

Marth sighed and looked around. "So...are the women and child screwed?" Mario didn't answer. "Are they?"

"Well, there is another way out." Nana said. "But they wouldn't get too far..."

Marth began to push Nana out of the Chamber. "Go tell them to make for the mountain pass now!"

"Okay, Okay!"

"Ride out with me."

"But you just said-"

"Not you!" Marth turned to Mario. "Ride out and meet them."

"Hmm..." Mario thought about it.

"For Death and Glory."

"Hmmmmmm..." Mario thought about it.

"For your people!"

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." Mario thought about it.

"The sun is rising." Popo pointed out. "We've lasted the night."

Marth's face lit up. "The Sun is rising! YES!" His mind quickly returned to what Bowser had told him so long ago.

"Look for my coming, at first light on the fifth day. On the 21st chapter, look to the east."

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." Mario has thought about. "Very well. The Horn of Helm Hammerhand shall sound in the deep... One last time!"

"Whoooo!" Popo cheered as he ran as fast as his little legs could carry him towards the room where the horn laid.

Mario turned to the door, which was now nearly completely destroyed. "Foul deeds awake! NOW FOR WRATH!" Marth drew his sword. "NOW FOR RUIN! AND A RED DAWN!"

"BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUO!" Went the horn just as the Uruk-Hai's broke into the chamber.

As they did, we now see that Mario, Marth, Link and other Humans were on top of a bunch of horses. "Where did these come from?" Mario asked.

"My ass." Replied Marth cooly.

"...Huh?"

Link leaned over and whispered into Mario's ear. "Aragorn has the power to pull horses out of his ass in a tight spot."

"Ah, I see." Mario paused for a second. "Right then. CHARGE!"

And so, the humans, Mario, Marth and Link charged out into the large group of Uruk-Hai's smashing anything in their way and chopping others with their swords. "And why didn't we do this before!"

"BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUO!" Went the horn as the heroes continued their path of killing down through the Hornburg and out onto the Causeway. Once there, Marth pulled aside as the others continued their killing and turned to the east side of the mountains.

And there on the hill, along with his white pony, was Bowser, with a glow of white light surrounding him. "God has returned!" Link said, pointing towards Bowser.

Both the remaining Humans and Uruk-Hai's turned towards Bowser and all of them let out a loud gasp. "Théoden Dude stays alone." Bowser said with a laugh.

But just then, Kirby rode up behind him on his tiny horse, lifting his sword. "Not alone. HORESYMEN!" From behind the hill came up all of Kirby's Horseymen. "TO THE DUDE!" Yelled Kirby as he charged forward.

"TO THE DUDE" Echoed Bowser and the Horseymen as they two began their charge down the hill. Dramatic music included.

"Stupid horses..." Said the Uruk-Hai's as they began to march towards the eastern hill and readied their spears.

Bowser gave another laugh as they continued their heroic ride down. "FOOLS OF A TOOK! Have you forgotten that I am a...WIZARD!" The koopa lifted his staff, which caused a large amount of light to appear behind the horseymen as they charged downwards, blinding the Uruk-Hai's. And without being able to see, Bowser, Kirby and the Horseymen charged into the large group of monsters and the killing began all over again.

(Isengard)

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Yelled the Orcs as they ran blindly around. Why you ask? Most likely because 100 Foot Trees are busy stomping them into the ground. The Orcs didn't stand a chance as the Ents easily smashed the little Orcs into the ground. "Take that!" DK stand as he made the Treebeard costume step down on a few tiny Orcs. "And this!" STOMP! "And that!" STOMP!

"Man, this isn't deadly..." Luigi said with a laugh. "This is fun!"

Falco nodded in agreement, but then quickly pointed. "Treebeard, look!" Falco was pointing to an Ent who had been pulled down to the ground and was now being chopped up by the Orcs.

"AH! NOOOO!" DK yelled as he lifted a giant stone over his head and then tossed it at the Orcs, sending them flying and saving his friend. "Ha-ha!"

"Woooh!" Cheered Luigi.

Falco picked up a stone and laughed. "To our dooms, yeah right!" He threw the rock and hit a Orc right in the head.

Mewtwo quickly dashed out onto his balcony to see what was going on. "What the! Oh no! GIANT TREES ARE ATTACKING! IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!"

DK stomped down on a few more Orcs, as did the other Ents, and Luigi and Falco continued to hit Orcs with little rocks. Luigi even hit one into the fire. "A Hit." Replied DK. "A Fine hit. Hi-five duuuuude!"

"...No..."

The Orcs, after about half of them were killed, started to notice something. "Ooooh, that's right, they're trees! Fire!" Said the Orcs as they readied flaming arrows. And they were able to hit one Ent, setting it a blaze. But DK's homies up by the dam were thinking something different. "BREAK THE DAM!" DK Yelled to his fellow Ents, who then began to pull away the logs that were holding up the stone wall which was all that stood between them and a thousands gallons of water. "RELEASE THE RIVER!"

With one last pull, the Ents broke the dam and the river rushed down from the mountains and was heading right toward Orthanc and the Ents. Mewtwo turned and stared at the tower of water for a few second. "...Shit..."

"Hang on Little Hobbits!" Warned DK as he readied himself as the water smashed into him as well as the other Ents. But the Ent that was on fire, oh no, he had to be the different one and jump right into the water.

Within a manner of seconds, the entire Ring of Isengard was flooded and Mewtwo's tower was now nothing more then an Island. "WHY!" Mewtwo yelled up towards the sky. "ALL I WAS TRYING TO DO WAS DESTROY THE WORLD! IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?"

(Osgiliath)

Since Roy was now long gone, Ness thought that now was a better time then ever to go wander off and explore the area. Of course, by 'wander off' I mean walking right into danger, and by 'explore the area' I mean nearly giving the Dark Lord the ultimate weapon of destruction. Pretty normal day. "Why is he doing this!" Dr. Mario moaned as he chased after Ness.

Ringwraith #4 took notice of little Nessy wandering around and quickly brought his dragon down to meet the boy. Ness hand walked up onto a bridge over looking the half-destroyed city and he was staring up at the Ringwraith with dead eyes. "Hey! It's you! I haven't seen you in chapters!" Ness lifted the Ring. "Yeah, Bob's alright now. Turns out, funny thing, We can't die! Ha! He says sorry about the whole stabbing episode- Hey! Is that the One Ring!"

Ever so slowly, Ness began to put the Ring on. "Whooo! Go Frodo, Go!" Cheered the Ring.

"Come to Wraithy!" The Dragon reached forward and was about to grab Ness when...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dr. Mario camecharging out from the shadows, knocking Ness over and tumbling the two down the many flights of stone stairs. That wound have been a boo-boo for Ness, but he landed on Dr. Mario.

Ringwraith #4 snapped his fingers. "Godblarnsit." Roy then noticed that there was a giant dragon looming over the city. So, after stealing someone's arrows, he fired the arrow and it pierced into the right wing of the dragon thing. With another lovely yell, Ringwraith #4 flew up and away, fearing for his safety, which wasn't really needed unless he was fighting Samus.

Meanwhile, Ness had lifted Sting to Dr. Mario's throat and was about to cut him up open. "Stop! What are ya doing! It's me!" Dr. Mario yelled, trying to push Ness away. "It's your Sam." (At this point in the movie, all the slash writers were rubbing their grubby hands together and laughing).

Ness dropped the sword and began to rub his eyes. "Oh, sorry. I didn't see you there. Rage was in my eyes."

"It's okay. I'm used to it by now." He replied standing up. "Wanna know something?"

"Hm?"

"It's time for me to give a long, inspirational and dramatic filled speech."

"Huzzah!"

Yoshi, still with ropes around his hands, crawled on up and smile. "Hey, did you miss me?"

Ness quickly shushed the little dinosaur as Dr. Mario began his speech. "There are these stories you see? Very scary. And dark. And gothic. And not the good gothic, the bad gothic. And sometimes you just didn't want to know the end, right? I mean, cause in a world where giant Vampires run lose sucking blood out of little girls for food, how could the ending be happy! IT CAN'T! How could the world be happy again for that little girl's family? IT COULDN'T!"

(Helm's Deep)

The Humans, Kirby's Horseymen and all the other heroes were chasing what little Uruk-Hai's remained away from Helm's Deep. Mario lifted his sword in the air and cheered. "WE WON! YES!"

_"But, sometime, y'know, the shadow is just a passing thing. Not always but, eeeh... It would go away like most things do. But not this rash I have on my back. Funny, I'm a doctor and yet this rash thing just keeps appearing. Hmm, I should get it check out."_

(Isengard)

DK, Luigi, Falco and the other Ents, all waste deep in water, were cheering over the their victory at Isengard. All of the little Orcs were either dead or...well, dead. Yeah, they killed them all. DK lifted his costume's arm into the sky and cheered. "WE WON! YES!"

_"And when the sun shine again, it would shine so bright it might blind you! Not to mention send all those Vampires back to the firey pits of Hell. Oh, but wait, isn't that little girl a Vampire now? ...Well, it would be a good thing for the other townspeople...but that's not the point!"_

(Osgiliath)

"The point is..." Dr. Mario was now crying over his own speech. "Folk in those stories had tons of times of just giving up and joining the grand empire of Vampires. But they didn't! Because they were holding on to something! We should just turn back now, But we can't..."

Ness was also in tears. "What are we holding onto Sam?"

Dr. Mario paused and thought for a second. "Hmm... Good Question...I didn't give much thought into that. Ah-ha! I know!" Dr. Mario walked over to Ness and helped him up off the ground. "That there is some good left in this world, and it's worth fighting for!"

Ness smiled and nodded, while Yoshi just gave his puppy doggy eyes in sadness thinking he has no reason to hold on to anything. And everyone else who had heard Dr. Mario's speech was now in tears, even the Readers. And one of those bystanders happens to be Roy. "I think at last we understand eachother, Frodo Baggins." He said with a sniff.

"Even though the only reason I've ever talked to you is to ask you to let me go?" Roy nodded. "Cool!"

Crazy Hand, who was un phased by Dr. Mario's speech seeing as he has no eyes, floated up to Roy. "You know the rules of your father. If you let them go, your life will be forfeit."

"Like, I'd be killed or something?"

"Dunno...In the next movie you seem fine."

"...Then it is forfeit."

(Helm's Deep)

The forces of Rohan were still chasing away the Uruk-Hai's, which were now heading towards a forest that seemed to have magically appeared. Kirby took notice of this and ran up to the front of the line. "STAY BACK! THAT FOREST WASN'T THERE BEFORE, THAT'S NEVER A GOOD SIGN!"

The Uruk-Hai's all began to snicker and giggle as the disappeared under the cover of the trees, thinking that all their problems were solved. Well, they were until... The trees began to beat them up. Yes, the forest of normal looking trees began to sway left and right, whacking and smashing any Uruk-Hai walking by. "Woah... Have I been smoking again?" Marth asked.

A little later on, back in Helm's Deep, the Humans were beginning to stack up the dead bodies of the Uruk-Hai's and getting ready to throw them...somewhere. Among the corpses walked Link, bow in hand and a very happy smile on his face. He ran up to Popo, who was busy smoking on top of a dead Uruk-Hai body. "...Why the hell are you sitting on it?" Link asked, pulling away. "That's soooo gross! Ewwwwww!"

"Once you get past the smell, it's alright." Popo replied.

"Oh... Well, just so you know..." He cleared his throat and stood up straight. "Final Count... 42!"

Popo laughed. "42? Well, thats not for a pointy-eared elvish princeling." If Link could, he would have given one of those happy anime faces. "But, I'm sitting pretty on 43."

"OMFG LIEZZZZZ!"

"...No, for once in my life I'm telling the truth." Popo laughed again and turned away from Link.

If Popo had continued to watch Link, he would have noticed the rage filling up in the elf's eyes. "43! I'll show you 43!" He quickly pulled out his arrow and shot it right at Popo, piercing him in the back.

"OMIGAWD YOU PERICED MY BACK!" Popo yelled.

"Oh God!" Link quickly ran up to Popo. "Oh God, I didn't mean it! I'm so-"

(Take 2)

"I. am. sit-ting. pretty. on 43." Replied Nana in Popo's clothes as she read from the script. Very poorly, mind you.

Link quickly drew out his arrow and shot the dead Uruk-Hai that she was sitting on, scaring the poor girl to near death. "43."

"He was already dead." Nana replied.

Link shook his head. "He was twitching."

The Ice Climber/Dwarf lifted the script and began to read again. "He. was. twitch-ing. because. he has. my ax. embedded. in his. nervous. system. Gimli gives a cheap cheesy laugh."

Link let out a moan. "Your acting skills is like a thousand babies crying as someone runs their nails down a chalkboard."

"Where's that in the script?" (Sadly, you can't do much to that scene without losing the magic.)

(Isengard)

Falco and Luigi were both standing in waste deep water looking up at Orthanc, where Mewtwo was still standing on his balcony over looking the destruction. "He doesn't look very happy, does he?" Falco asked with a smirk.

"Nope. Not at all." Luigi answered.

"My lair...My Orcs...My Giant Hyena's...ALL GONE!" Mewtwo yelled just as Ganondorf walked out to see what was going on.

"WTF d00d? WTH h4pp3n h3r3! 0MF9 dis de m4j0r sux0rz!" Mewtwo let out a loud cry as the pain of listening to Ganondorf's leet didn't help him at all.

Falco then began to measure himself against Luigi. "Yes! I'm taller again!"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. Just that I can now keep my sanity."

Luigi let out a loud yell. "No, we can't... I'm hungry!" His eyes then caught glimpse of a floating red orb. He picked it up and smiled, as the orb was an apple. "Food!" Luigi turned around to show Falco, and as he did, his jaw dropped wide open.

"What's wrong?" Falco asked.

Luigi pointed and Falco turned around to see Mewtwo's storehouse. "It's...heaven!"

The two quickly swam into the storehouse and began to look around at the shelves filled with food. And then, they saw it. "It can't be..." Falco said in shock as Luigi reached up to grab it.

"It is!" Luigi lifted the barrel to show the word "pipe"weed. "There's one for each of us! My dream came true!" Luigi passed Falco a barrel and the two were just about to start smoking it when Luigi asked, "Should we share it with Treebready?"

"Uh..." Falco looked down and hugged his barrel. "You can."

(Osgiliath)

Roy is leading Ness, Dr. Mario and Yoshi towards a open sewer in the wall. "This old sewer will lead you to the forest." Roy explained.

Dr. Mario bowed. "Thank you very much Faramir-san."

"What? Oh... well, that speech... really helped." Roy whipped a tear out of his eye then asked, "Once you reach the forest will you go?"

"Gollum says there is a path near Minas Morgul." Ness replied.

Roy let out a gasp. "Cirith Ungol?"

"Whooooooooooooooooooopies..." Yoshi whispered as he slowly began to crawl away. But he didn't get far as Roy quickly grabbed the dino and pined him to a stone wall.

"Is that it's name!"

"No, no!"

WHACK!

"Yes!"

Roy turned back to the two hobbits. "They say a dark terror dwells in those caves."

"But Master says we must go to Mordor, so we must try." Yoshi added.

"Bah! Fine." Roy said, throwing Yoshi to the ground. "Well you guys are dead..."

Ness rolled his eyes. "Gee, thanks." He said, then turned and began to walk down the sewer.

Dr. Mario followed and as Yoshi was about to join the two, Roy grabbed him again and said, "May death find you quickly if you bring them to harm."

Yoshi glared at Roy and once he was let go, crawled down the tunnel after Ness and Dr. Mario. But Yoshi's body was too banged up and he continued to fall to the ground in pain. "Man, you're weak." Dr. Mario said.

"Shuddup."

Dr. Mario sighed and turned to Yoshi. "Listen, those rangers were going to kill you if Frodo didn't go down to you. He was trying to save you."

Yoshi's jaw dropped. "Save me!"

"Uh, yeah. So... No hard feelings, kay? Forgive and forget!"

"...Okay, no hard feelings. -Cough-_ GOLLUM, GOLLUM_ -Cough-. Nice hobbits." Yoshi moaned as he crawled past Dr. Mario.

"That's very decent of you... I guess."

(Helm's Deep)

Bowser, Mario, Link, Popo (Who magically is now better), Kirby, Marth and Nana ride up onto the hill on horses. They stared out over the plains and gazed upon Mordor, where a very angry hand was painting it's nails to calm himself down. Bowser then gave the teaser for the next chapters. Bowser said, "Sauron is pissed at us now. Frodo and Sam are dead. Gondor is screwed for the next chapter and/or movie. Doesn't this story rock?" He paused for a second. "Yes. If not for those reasons, because I'm in it. Anyway... The Battle of Helm's Deep is over. The Battle for Middle-Earth is about to begin."

(Forest outside Osgiliath that has a name I'm just too lazy to remember it right now)

Ness and Dr. Mario were both traveling through the forest. "I want to be put in a song or tale one day." Dr. Mario blurted out.

"Why?" Ness asked.

"So we could be all cool... and stuff."

Ness laughed. "Mawha! You mean, I could be all cool and stuff. I'd be the one everyone remembers."

"I'd be the side-kick that everyone loves and you'd just be the hero who looks good! You'll never have any fans, just a few people who know the tale or song because of your name and love my character! I'd be the one signing autographs, damn it! You'd be nothing without me! HEAR ME! NOTHING!"

"...Wow. I was just kidding but, ouch man. That hurt."

"...Oh, sorry. I didn't mean it. Stuff like that just happens sometimes."

"It's the truth though." Ness turned around and faced his friend. "Frodo couldn't have gotten far without Sam."

"You're doing it again..."

"Frodo is speaking in the third person again?"

"Yes, you are."

(Elsewhere)

Yoshi was crawling through the forest, crying as he crawled. "Master looks after us. He's our friend!"

Oh-no, here comes Evil Yoshi. "Master broke his promise. He hurts us!"

"Don't ask Sméagol." Cried Good Yoshi, trying to run away from his other half. But of course, failing.

"EVIL LITTLE HOBBITSES!" Evil Yoshi yelled. "They betrayed us! Kill him! Kill him! ...You know what? Kill them both!"

"But..." Good Yoshi rubbed his eyes. "The fat one, he knows. He's always staring at me..."

But Evil Yoshi came up with a solution. "Stab them out! Poke out his eyeses!"

"Hm, Yes... Yes..."

"Kill them both!"

"Yes!" But then Good Yoshi heard what he was saying. "No, no! It's too risky!"

Evil Yoshi thought about the problem for a second. "We could let... 'her'... do it."

"Yes, she could do it!" Good Yoshi paused for a second. "Wait, who is she?"

"You'll find out later. But we'll take the precious from the hobbits once they're dead!"

"...Once they're dead..." The Not-So Good Yoshi shushed himself for some unknown reason, then jumped out onto the pathway to meet Dr. Mario and Ness. "Come on hobbits! Long ways to go yet! Sméagol will show you the way."

"I would think so, that's what we're paying you for." Dr. Mario replied.

"...I'm getting paid? Eh, whatever." Yoshi turned around and as Ness and Dr. Mario began to follow him, Evil Yoshi muttered under his breath, "Follow me..."

And together, the three continued to march through the forest, heading towards Mordor, which lies just over the mountains.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Damn it. Took long enough, right? Well... Only a few more chapters to go. I know, I know, without this story, your lives around going to be so empty. Oh well. -Smile-

**Credits for-  
Too Many Towers to be Two:**

_There once was light.  
Now darkness falls..._

**Ness: Frodo  
Dr. Mario: Sam  
Yoshi: Gollum**

_There once was love.  
Love is no more..._

**Bowser: Gandalf  
Marth: Aragorn  
Popo: Gimli  
Link: Legolas**

_Don't say...goodbye.  
Don't say...I didn't try..._

**Falco: Merry  
Luigi: Pippin  
DK: Treebeard**

_These tears we cry.  
are falling rain..._

**Mario: Théoden  
Samus: Éowyn  
Kirby: Éomer  
Roy: Faramir**

_For all the lies you told us.  
The hurt, the blame..._

**Zelda: Arwen  
Fox: Elrond  
Peach: Garadriel  
Young Link: Haldir**

_And we will weep.  
To be so alone..._

**Mewtwo: Saruman  
Ganondorf: Wormtounge  
Master Hand: Sauron  
Polygon Team: Easterlings**

_We are lost.  
We can never go home..._

**Wireframes: Haradirs  
Wireframes: Uruk-Hais/Orcs  
Boy 1: Éothain  
Girl 1: Freda**

_So in the end I'll be what I will be..._

**Ringwraiths: Themselves  
Ring: Himself  
Elves: Themselves  
Humans: Themselves**

_No loyal friend was ever there for me..._

**Woman One: Mother  
Nana: Gamling and Everything Else (Nana: ...Do you hate me?)**

_Now we say...good-bye.  
We say...you didn't try.  
These tears you cry have come to late take back the lies the hurt, the blame.  
And you will weep,  
when you face the end alone.  
You are lost.  
You can never go home.  
You are lost.  
You can never go home..._


End file.
